also coincides with the founding of the San Francisco Zen Center. And there's no, for some reason historically, there's a complete parallel in the West between the beginning of serious practice of Buddhism and the environmental movement. In their similar recognitions. So we either give life or we take it away. So in this sense, if we have this popular idea in our Western culture of there being a creator,

[01:32]

And it takes creation away from us. And in a world of immanence, creation is always something we have to be involved in. There's no alternative. So then the question is, one aspect of the truth in Buddhism is, how are we creating this actuality? Is it only through our perceptions? Or is it beyond our perceptions? So let me stop there a minute, and we have to stop pretty soon anyway.

[02:47]

Is there anything anybody would like to say? To me it is anyway. And what we're doing is quite simple. Too complicated for you? Yes, but also it's quite simple. We're looking at what changes, what stays. Computers are based on off and on. So two alternatives can become quite complicated. Then you have to decide whether you like PCs or Macs.

[03:54]

And since the Macintosh was developed by Buddhists, you can know which one I like. But I don't discriminate against PC owners or Christians. Can we open a window? Maybe you can turn the heat down.

[04:57]

Turn it to the right? No, there is a slight heat on. Tonight you'll need it on, but... Yeah. So if you want to practice with this, if you want to practice with this, You want to practice with what changes in yourself and what stays in yourself. Now the idea in examining things and trying to get to the truth of them in Buddhism is so that we can practice them. So Dharma is the study of what stays and what changes. And we can't make it simpler than that.

[06:00]

So you begin to notice in yourself what stays and what changes. Now, one of the factors of no transcendence Now, one of the givens, if you're practicing Buddhism, is you accept no transcendence. Or, if there is transcendence, it's transcendence, so why bother with it? Even if there is transcendence, you can only reach it through the inside.

[07:21]

So, if everything is inside, maybe we can imagine this is like a big stomach we're all inside. Something like that, instead of thinking it's out there, some kind of big stomach. Okay, so the truth of the Dharma, one of the basic givens, is that what happens out there is also us. So, I mean, if we think of the way I... grew up with the sense of the precepts, was this due unto others as you would have them due unto you?

[08:25]

Is that if I created... If I created a circle which related to other people, it came back to me. And through that integration of myself with others through the precepts, because they're called commandments in English, which is... You know, a little different than precepts. Is that then, if you completed that circle, a circle was completed to heaven, or God, and you might go to heaven. I can see you're ready to go. Yeah. I remember my daughter, who's now taller than me.

[09:48]

And she was four or something. We took her to see E.T. Which was written by a woman who... was brought up as a Catholic. And she said it wasn't till she'd finished the script for about two years that she realized E.T. was Christ. in her own imagination so we took our daughter Elizabeth to see this when she was four she's now 18 and I went to I was going to bed and Elizabeth should have been in bed hours before I went to bed.

[10:56]

When I was going to bed, I went out in the garden, and Elizabeth, who should have gone to bed hours before, was in the garden. And I said, what are you doing? She said, I'm waiting for them. I'm going to go. She was ready to go, so... I said, go to bed. First Buddhist lecture. Thank you. One of the first Buddhist lectures I gave her, she came inside.

[12:01]

I said, why did you come inside? I think I've told you this before. I said, well, why did you come inside? She said, because it's raining. I said, what's raining? She said, it's raining. I said, would you please go outside and get me that it? She says, Dad... So I teased her quite a bit about what she thought was doing the raining when her English says, it rains. Because our language presumes a doer, something outside the system that's doing things. But she should have said, it rains.

[13:04]

Now, if... We're supposed to stop at six, right? Quarter to six. Quarter? Oh, I'm sorry. Okay. If Nico can go ten extra minutes, so can I. Um... So let's look at the ingredients of this soup we're in. This stomach or this soup. Things are changing and things are staying. At least we want them to stay. What does stay? At least patterns, some kind of order stays. And what are the basic ingredients we bring to this? The basic ingredients are body, speech, and mind.

[14:38]

So how can we notice Within body, speech and mind, what stays and what changes? Wie können wir innerhalb von Körper, Geist und Sprache feststellen, was sich verändert und was bleibt? This is how Buddhism or Darmism was built up. Und so wurde Buddhismus oder Darmismus aufgebaut. Now a friend of mine, actually Mayumi, asked me the other day, Oda, who did that green painting that used to be out in the hall, Mayumi Oda, eine Freundin von mir, die dieses grüne Gemälde, das wir abgehängt haben, vor einigen Tagen gemalt hat. It's silkscreen, actually. She said, is Buddhism as big as Darmism? Sie fragte mich, ist Buddhism so groß wie Darmism? Is Buddhism as big as the Dharma, as the truth? Ist Buddhism so groß wie das Dharma oder die Wahrheit? So that can also be... Because first of all, we're studying the Dharma.

[15:41]

And then you have to answer for yourself. Do you want to study the Dharma as a Buddhist? This is an honest question. I don't know. We call this a Zen center, but as far as I'm concerned, it's just a place to study the truth. So maybe we should change it from the Buddhist Study Center to the Dharma Study Center. So now if you ask yourself, what most obviously changes that we can bring our attention to? The answer to that is our breath. Now, our heart is also beating and so forth, but it's much harder to bring our attention to our heart. Now, what stays that's most obvious?

[16:56]

We can join. And that is posture. So you can see how Buddhism has developed. Then to notice, yes, everything's changing, but there's some pattern, some order. What changes, what stays? Can I discover that in my, not just in the so-called outside world, but also in my own body and mind and speech? So the first discovery is our posture and in our This is the beginning of the study of truth, to study your breath and your posture.

[18:15]

Kaz was just here, Tanahashi sensei, and he, as you know, did this calligraphy and the big one he calls Bodhidharma at the top of the stairs. And he did the kanji, the character at the entryway, which means Tao or the way. And so this study of the truth is a path. And as a path, as you said, we do together as a Sangha. And with everything and every person. Now Sukhiyoshi spoke about a... about how a calligrapher does calligraphy.

[19:32]

Suzuki Roshi talked about how a painter does calligraphy. He said that a calligrapher in the Zen tradition brings Zazen posture to his calligraphy. The calligrapher doesn't sit in Zazen, but his posture. He brings the study of this posture to the calligraphy. And he said, most calligraphers hold the brush in their right hand. But he said, watch the left hand. The left hand does most of the work. So if you watch the right hand, you know how it's held, the left hand is also participating. And when you see the left hand, you see how the whole body is the brush.

[20:47]

By the whole body being the brush, the hand is quite free then. And then each drop, each stroke contains everything. If it's just done with the right hand, this is not calligraphy. And so Kars calls his book Brush Mind. Mm-hmm. So this kind of study of our posture and our breath, bringing our attention, our mind, to our posture and our breath, is our practice.

[21:58]

The first way we begin the study of what stays and what changes. But I would suggest you now bring into your own attention, into your own speech, Mental speech. What stays, what changes. To what extent can I accept change? And to what extent do I need things to stay? And if I need things to stay, What is it that I can depend on that actually does stay?

[23:05]

We need something to stay. And the heart is the mind in... Because it's the heart which can trust. The brain doesn't trust, the brain thinks. But it's the heart which gives mind direction and depth. And you know, the word trust is also Dharma. True, tree, trust, it's all the same word as Dharma. I like it that the word is also tray, what you carry, which you trust your coffee cup and tea cup to.

[24:19]

The tray is also the same root. The same root is also tablet. We carry something with us. And so trust, so what kind of tray are you going to carry your life on? It's also, do you have the word tryst from the French? Where you meet your lover? Tryst? No. Anyway, in English there's a tryst, is where you agree to meet somebody in front of a drugstore or under a tree or something. Tryst bedeutet ein Treffpunkt. Yeah. Trist? Treffpunkt. I think it's... Yes, but also there's a word which means to meet, T-R-Y-S-T. I don't know. I think originally it's French, but... Anyway, it's not important right now. So, but a trist is where you wait trustingly.

[25:20]

Okay, so let's have a few moments of waiting trustfully. I'll ring the bell. So there is this question.

[27:34]

What can we, what can you actually trust? What can you depend on? What stays? Anything? But we have this need. that something stays. How do we fulfill this need? All of Buddhism is this question. Yeah.

[31:05]

Well, I'm of course interested to hear about your discussion. I came all the way from America to hear your discussion. You think I'm crazy, yes. But it's true. So please, someone. So please, start someone. Start someone. I'll try to repeat what you said in an hour. Yeah. Well, just a little bit so I have a flavor, and so we all have a flavor. Okay. We started with the questions... about how can you see someone knows himself him or yourself and this brought up the question about is this about identity or is it about something else um here was a search going on in the talking

[32:44]

How can you recognize someone knows himself, him or herself? You can sometimes recognize somebody doing something with attention, but you cannot turn it around and say this person knows himself because he's doing this with intention. So it's hard to grasp how to see somebody knowing himself. Later on, we came by the feelings of being close to something, being familiar with something, and even somebody thought about having a feeling what you on a certain moment have to do and recognizing this as a kind of mystical then the question turns in if you recognize somebody knows himself or

[34:08]

you know yourself, there must be two. There must be something to know and there must be an I who watch this. We went on and we came on what happens between those two What are those two? The one who sees and the one who sees what does he see? Was it the same as the observer and the observed? Somehow this makes a kind of sense. but the observer was not separated from what he saw.

[35:16]

And at this point, I think the discussion turned by somebody saying, or saying something, I think, loving you as something to live with. So this brought up the idea of something which is there, which you cannot grasp, and which needs you somewhere, or which is also in you. Going on about this, the specific thing about knowing or seeing somebody knowing himself is that the person is open to something

[36:37]

He is open to something which you cannot grasp. He is accepting. I like the word responsible. He is able to give an answer on a moment and he is not disturbed and in the basic feeling there is a kind of relying for oneself or and this is the meeting itself was a kind of recognizing with with love?

[37:42]

This is how it feels inside? Sounds like a pretty good discussion. He tried to solve all the problems. Okay, so, some other? So we didn't solve all the problems. Our discussion surrounded the questions first and what we thought about was some examples from professions people are doing. with some examples of a brush maker and a gardener. And we had one friend, Richard, he's a painter. And Richard told this guy he does different things, but he knew very early that he is a painter.

[38:53]

That is his way. And so he follows that way without looking too much to what other people say to that. So it came to the point that when someone knows himself, he can trust That's what his own voice says, instead of too much hearing what other people say. Then we came to this term, the inner voice. But we did agree where it comes from. Neither did Socrates and the Greek citizens of the time. Yeah. So then there was another thing to know oneself has to do with recognize the different parts from oneself and it's dangerous to do that because if I recognize my

[40:17]

shadow parts make me not very nice. And if I recognize my frontiers, my borders, what I can do, what I can't do, where my potential is at an end, then maybe I have to recognize that it's very little I can do. And on the other side, I can recognize that it's much more I can do than I want to do. So maybe you can find a much larger potential than maybe you want to have. This is why I didn't think, a larger potential than you want to have.

[41:22]

Because the next point is, if you recognize it, you have to live it. That's the problem with practicing Buddhism. Yeah. So that's... Okay. I want to add a little bit because for me it was important that at least I cannot know myself really because what will happen if I live in a very As long as I live in a protected situation I don't really know myself. It changes as soon as I come into an extreme situation where I can't say what I'm going to do. In a similar discussion like Reinhold was describing, to know oneself means on the one hand how oneself is organized,

[42:58]

How is my relationship to other people and other situations? One knows himself or oneself. On the other hand, there is also the aspect of self-realization. The other aspect is the aspect of self-realizing. Those who know themselves go their own way. Then the speculation started. Does someone who doesn't go his way or his path, does he know anything about himself? And knowing that he doesn't know much about himself.

[44:35]

And there was a big change when you brought up the question, why are we here? Take me to your leader. Okay, something else? To know each other in a Buddhist way. To know each other in a Buddhist way. to study oneself in terms of greed, hate, delusion. Okay.

[45:37]

I'm not the appointed speaker of my group, but I can give a short... Please. Perhaps the other members can add something. I think we had three main points, and I think the third point of our group discussion was really new. I mean, so I emphasize this point. First, we talked about how can a person, a personality know itself. I mean, it was more on a psychological level. And later we had the impression that in a way it's impossible to know oneself as a personality because, as you said yesterday, life is actualizing itself. So you never know what kind of personality will actualize in the next moment. So in a way it's impossible to know the personality.

[46:45]

The second point was we talked about, I mean, you get to know the personality by observing some sort of self-reflection. Like the other group was discussing about observing at the splitting of the personality into observing part and observed part. Somebody talked about an experience in Zazen when the observer disappears. This is a different state of mind in which there is no observer. Your question would be taking the precepts. And so we discussed about the problem, do we really know why we take the precepts or why do we want to take the precepts? Do we have to know?

[47:47]

What is the motivation? And this was, I mean, I cannot summarize all this discussion, but I think this was, I think, the main point of our discussion, which was, for me, most important. Okay. Does somebody want to add to what he said, as Ralph suggested? I want to add to our group discussion. There was an idea to connect questions to body, speech and mind, and there was a question that know oneself in our culture means mostly to know your intentions, and it's a kind of verbal knowing. and there we had the discussion if there an observer which is not bound to language one part argued yet there is an intense pain there is an observer of the pain and there was another position which pointed out that probably all splitting in observer and observed is due to language and that

[48:55]

the self you can get to know by means of attention and attending to the mind is probably the non-cultivated self not so influenced by the verbal by language and society in our culture most of us don't know their bodies that's an area probably another self living there. But there's a kind of self if you perform a bodily activity like sports or tennis, the body does itself without any observer. It's just also kind of moving, knowing but not the kind of conscious living. Anyone else? Um,

[50:05]

You know, in America, when I was in college, the general feeling was that college students stayed up late discussing life. And it was often called sophomoric. The sophomore is the second year of college. There's freshman, sophomore. So it was a kind of... It was a kind of prejudice that the high school teachers then said, oh yes, you have stayed up for a long time, I did that before too. And it made you feel sort of immature that you were trying to stay up late or discuss what life was about.

[51:21]

But it was funny that it was called sophomoric because soft is wisdom and... So more wisdom, but it's considered something you weren't supposed to do. But The people I've stayed friends with over the years, the people are still sophomoric. Maybe we don't stay up so late, but, you know... Kierkegaard said, I believe, we understand our life backwards, but we live it forwards.

[52:23]

Since we live it forwards and since we're always creating our life, And since we, I think, have several adult lives You know, there's sort of like into the 30s or 40s, and then for many people there's a change, a needed change into another adult life that either is quite different or sometimes looks the same, but it's actually different. And I think it's healthy, in my opinion, also to have a third...

[53:27]

or even forced adult life. And since we're living so, a large percentage of the population has always been long-lived people, But a large percentage of the population is living longer. This has to be more acknowledged, I think. So I think both... Practically, because our life often is in major transition, it's useful to have this kind of discussion with ourself and a shared discussion. And I think it's particularly important if we're practicing meditation.

[54:44]

Because I think that if we seriously practice meditation, you're slipping the moorings of the self. Do you know what that means? Moorings is where you tie up a boat. And when you slip the moorings, you let the rope go and float out. A boat is tied up at the dock. And when you untie it, you take away the moorings. So it floats out. So through our growing up and our parents, our culture, we're rather tied to a way of seeing things, and practice kind of loosens those ways tied.

[55:56]

In various ways this is said over and over again. But I don't think it's really apparent to us how true it is. Mm-hmm. The 97th koan in the blue, in the show you wrote, the Book of Equanimity. The 97th koan in... The 92nd, I think. The 92nd koan in the Book of Equanimity speaks about Yaoshan. Anyway, it says, having mastered, mastering the, the, mastering the trances of the languages...

[57:02]

Mastering the Trances of Language. Who said this? It's not important. I said... I'm defenseless. Yeah. And this is a basic Yogacara position. And Zen is mostly grounded in Yogacara teaching. And the basic view of Zen is, Yogacara teaching is that language is a kind of trance. You know the word trance?

[58:12]

Yeah, trance. All French people know trance. Okay. And to know Who's taking the precepts? In a way, you have to both accept the trance of the precepts and see through the trance of... To take the precepts is to see through the trance also. When you take the precepts, you take the trance, but you see through the transcendence. No, I... Many of you would know something about this, but I went through quite a big crisis in my own life back in 1983.

[59:27]

And there's many kind of... interpretations or ideas or public rumor descriptions of what happened. And most of that is completely mixed up and very little connection with what happened. But something definitely happened. And it's not in the fact that... It's gone all these years without anybody really knowing what happened is what makes it interesting. So recently, a few weeks ago, mid-April actually,

[60:27]

You're going to give much better lectures than me. Mid-April, yeah. Recently, a few weeks ago... Um... Um... The, uh... new abbots of the Zen Center asked me to come back and meet with some folks. So they chose a place, amusingly enough, called Shadows. Which is a conference center, a small conference center.

[62:04]

It actually can supposedly only legally take 30 people. But we had 40-some people. finally ended up with, meeting together. And they're all people that I practiced with through the 70s into the 80s. And I can't tell you much about it, but I can say a few things. This crisis occurred 14 years ago. And it was virtually like it had happened tomorrow. It was fresher in people's physicality and in their thinking and feeling than anything that's happened in between.

[63:26]

And it was clear that all of us were still in an active relationship with each other. And almost entirely, a positive relationship. There were some negative sides and some people extremely upset, but the upset was completely a measure of how positive the situation was.

[64:28]

And I came just to learn as much as I could about it. And there's various reasons, structural reasons, why it took 14 years, but anyway, it did happen. It could have happened in the first couple months, maybe, or it could have happened at other points, but for structural reasons, it didn't happen until now. In other words, I don't think there's any intrinsic pulse to being 14 years, 28 years or something.

[65:39]

Charlie thought the discussion was getting interesting. Now, again, I'm trying to make this a little bit short, but I'm aware of a dimension of relationship that occurs in practice with individuals, between individuals.

[66:44]

We can't say what it is, but we can feel it. And if you stop and think about it, it kind of disappears. Or it doesn't make sense. Yeah. So... I have tended to myself personally limit my apprehension of this emotional reality or feeling reality, to person by person. But what I saw in this meeting was that this was actually not only person by person, but was a shared emotional reality that was palpable, feelable.

[68:30]

was much bigger than I had imagined. I don't know how I could have imagined it, but even though I was participating in it, I mean, it was beyond imagination, even though I was acting in something beyond imagination. And usually imagination is bigger than what we are actually doing, but in this case it was the opposite. Well, we tend to think that way. And I would say what happened is this... Emotional, I don't know what to call it, so I'm going to call it an emotional reality.

[69:46]

Maybe we could say it's a feeling reality, but there are a lot of emotions permeating it. Mm-hmm. It was bigger than most people's experience of themselves, I would say. And I would say it was entirely opened up because this group of people seriously practiced together. And it had not even gone into winterschlaf. Too pressed into hibernation. it had stayed present but no one could act through it or act on it.

[71:03]

Now, and some people did go into winter schlaf. And I think in all of us, our practice has a tendency to go into periods of hibernation. And the periods of hibernation often are periods in which we are maturing our practice. Sometimes it's in hibernation, I think, because we're busy or have a career or a family to take care of. But sometimes it can't mature in our external personality. It's prevented, so it has to go sort of underground. into a personal cave and sleep, looking like it's sleeping.

[72:06]

And then it kind of wakes up and shakes itself and looks to see if the sun's out there in the cave. And strolls out into your life. My gosh, there's a bear in my life. We have bears at Creston. They're quite nice. We didn't see too many this year. Gerald treed one that then pissed on him, right? May I give you a sentence? Sure, go ahead. I caught one. A young one, right? Well, pretty big. Some of them are bigger than him. That scared me. I came closer and a bear came towards me. They're black bears and they're more afraid than I am.

[73:21]

He climbed on a tree and I came closer and he poked me. Kiesler made him live in a separate house for a week. Yeah, and a number of... People I practiced with years ago have been coming to Crestone now. And it's interesting, although two or three of them have felt, well, I haven't been practicing so much these years, But still, it's apparent to me and once they start again that their practice has matured during those years.

[74:22]

Now, I'm not recommending that all of you start hibernating. It's probably still better to... a hibernate only occasionally, if at all. So a practice place like this is a place you come to so that you don't have to hibernate so much. So we could call it in the Dianaringi Black Forest Hibernation Center. Sounds pretty good, doesn't it? So... He's quite alive, isn't he?

[76:06]

See? Okay. Okay. I suppose I should say that Zen Center was quite large. And there was a dimension of this. San Francisco is not such a big city, but in the area there were about 12,000 people on the mailing list. Just in that area. Sunday lectures were typically... About 400 people.

[77:11]

And there were 400 Doxan students. And there were some hundreds more than that. We had 200 people on the payroll alone of the center. And many people, hundreds of people had been practicing 10, 15 years together. And what I discovered in this meeting particularly, though I've sort of intuited it, but I really saw it, I mean, I've known this, but I saw it, is that if we practice seriously, we have to really take care of each other. And we need to have a lot of mutual contact.

[78:12]

And the main thing that I would say was the problem is that it got The times, the historical times allowed it to develop like this. That something happened that was... I would say profoundly opening for a very large number of people. But there wasn't the developed Sangha support or cultural support for it. I would say there wasn't enough discussions like this. To really develop a shared sense of what was going on.

[79:20]

Because you can begin to have understanding and experience that that you have no context for, and then it becomes a kind of intimacy with things and with others that is more bewildering than satisfying. I mention this to you just because I want to share happening with me as I like you to share what's happening with you. And also to say this experience is and has been guiding my sense of how to develop Johanneshoff and Christo.

[80:31]

But I really believe in this Genrinji. This mysterious Sangha practice. I really do not believe we should stop just because we're living our life forwards and understanding it backwards. I think some people should do this in our society. And taking the precepts I understand also is to be an intuition, an inner request, to discover for ourselves and with others how we

[81:55]

actually exist, how we can exist. Wisdom in Buddhism means to know how we exist. And compassion means to live in the world as it actually exists. And this is also understood as a pulse of wisdom and compassion. So this sense of identity as a pulse of being as a pulse is also part of who we are. There are big pulses in our life and moment-by-moment pulses. Now, there's a poem that Dogen Zenji thought was a great realization poem.

[83:17]

And it happens to be, it's a description of a famous mountain in China called Mount Lu. Maybe I'll learn it after all. You know, one reason I haven't learned German is I really only want to relate to you through practice. In America I know all these nuances and social things and it kind of interferes.

[84:19]

I just know you through practice. But if I'm living here now in this, our own house, on Berg Lou. But Mount Lou, this poem, really describes Crestone as well as Mount Lou. But this poem with Berg Lou... Darin beschreibt Creston und aber auch diesen Platz. It says, and it's Sue Shear is the poet. Und der Schreiber ist ein Name, ist ein Mensch. S-U-S-H-I-H. Sue Shear. And anyway, the poem is...

[85:20]

From one side, an entire range. From another side, a single peak. High and low. near and far, all its parts different. High and low, near and far, all its parts different. If the if we cannot even know the face of Mount Lu, it is because we are standing in the midst of it. Now this poem expresses It's considered an enlightenment poem by Xu Shi.

[86:25]

It expresses a willingness to be with absolute confidence where you don't know. You know, as I mentioned, I believe, February, if you're at the North Pole, let's say, if you're at the South Pole, there are, if you're at the South Pole, all directions are north. The coordinates by which we establish direction don't mean anything at the South Pole. And then we also have three Norths anyway.

[87:28]

We have the north of the north star. We have the north of the magnetic pole. And we have the north of so-called true north based on the axis of the planet. So anyway, the point I'm making is that the sense of the trance of language, that every system of coordinates fails. I remember Having the feeling of that when I was studying geometry as a kid with pi. What do you call it? P? Pi? P. 3.174658 something. I had this feeling when I was studying mathematics, but geometry with this...

[88:37]

Is it a sine curve? P. Here's an exact dimension, but a number system can't express the ratio. It's an infinitely receding number. So whether it's mathematics and girdle sense or it's standing at the north pole and all directions are north, south pole and all directions are north, we come to a point, particularly in meditation, of knowing ourselves outside of any system. Outside of any coordinates. Are you ready for that? He is, okay. Good. That's why we're here. I suggested three questions today.

[90:05]

How, what do we mean when we say someone else, we feel someone else knows themselves? We do have that feeling sometimes. Such and such a person, they seem to know themselves. So I asked, what do we sense when we say that? What do we mean when we say that? And then also the second was, when we have the sense of knowing ourself, And I would say, certainly as I've gotten older, I have an experience of knowing myself more than I did. And again, the precepts are about Who's taking the precepts?

[91:14]

Who's making this decision? What's making this decision? And will this decision perhaps bring you into more intimacy with knowing yourself? And such a simple thing, too, as recognizing our basic humanity. As I said. the precepts precede Buddha. And these really simple things, Sukhyoshi said, it is because of the precepts there is Buddha. Now the third question I asked you was, I suggested was, What is the experience of knowing yourself?

[92:36]

What do you experience when you have a sensation of being just as you are, say? Or everything's in its place, something like that. Now, in our practice, we emphasize more the third. Coming to have a feeling for... being ourself. And coming to trust that feeling and to allow that feeling to live us forwards. To practice us just with sincerity to practice.

[93:39]

The way I understand this, and the way Suzuki Oshii expressed it in particular, is when we practice like this, Knowing this feeling, we're trusting this feeling. Trusting this feeling of how we exist. And Dogen said, to study the self is to forget the self.

[94:39]

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