Don't you think it's funny that I carry a folded up mandala with me? I mean, this bowing cloth is a mandala. And I carry it around on my arm. What is that? How are you feeling? Okay? Are you feeling okay? You were hoping I hadn't noticed. Oh, this is good. Anyway, the bowing cloth is... folded up mandala.

[01:04]

Auf jeden Fall ist dieser Verbeugungsstoff ein zusammengefaltetes Mandala. And of course when I unfold it it's rather interesting, you know. Und wenn ich das entfalte, dann ist das ziemlich interessant. Because when it's completely unfolded it's just the unfolded mandala that was made by me or the robe store or something. But it's made so that I have to make it into a mandala as well. So it's made so that I fold it over itself so it makes a smaller mandala. And let's just think a little bit about what this means.

[02:08]

Well, I mean it does mean that we can create space. Es bedeutet, dass wir Raum schaffen können. We are always creating space, as I am right now. Wir schaffen immer Raum, so wie ich jetzt. And that I can create space, which is a wisdom space, which is a mandala. Und ich kann Raum schaffen, der Weisheitsraum ist, und das ist ein mandala. So, to emphasize that it's a space I'm creating, when I, first I unfold it, And then when I put it down on the ground, I kind of refold it. And that's the standard way it's done. So I make a mandala in which I bow into. Also, mache ich da ein mandala in das hinein ich mich verbeuge.

[03:32]

And then, when it's a rather more important occasion like the ninju ceremony. Und dann, wenn es einen etwas wichtigeren Anlass gibt, so wie zum Beispiel die ninju ceremony. Or Jonas' shuso entering ceremony. Oder Jonas' shuso eingangsceremonie. I might open it all the way. And because the standard way is folded, by not folding it, I'm folding it. So I only use it the way it's made, In contrast to the usual fold. All this is an expression of that we are always making space. And that we can make a space for enlightenment.

[04:36]

A space in which enlightenment is more likely to happen. And all of the teaching is about making a space, let's call it that, where enlightenment is more likely to happen. And the design of Zendos from China on till today are kind of concerted halls, concert halls, concerted halls for enlightenment. A concert hall is for music, right? But a Zendo is designed to be a kind of concert hall for a feeling between people.

[06:16]

So let's say concerted, which means to do together. Oh, okay. Yes. Sorry. I don't know. I'm sorry. It's all right. Whatever you said was, you know, either good enough or perfect. So the design of Zendo's are meant to have us sitting in relation to each other a certain way. And also to how to serve food and so eat together. And even the path of Kenyan is meant, and especially we can use this room, to make us pass each other closely.

[07:26]

So we could also call it a concentration hall, but that has a very bad sound. Yes, yes, yes. A concerted hall. Yes, let's stay with that. Also können wir das ein... But it is a place for inner concentration. Gemeinschaftsraum. Ein Raum der Konzentration. Ein Raum der Konzentration und ein Gemeinschaftsraum haben wir jetzt. You see these words are all borrowed and used and leased and we have to figure out who owns them. Und diese Worte sind alle ausgeliehen und verliehen und auf Raten abzuzahlen und so.

[08:31]

Und wir müssen herausfinden, wem sie gehören. So I've been trying to... I try to find words that... I mean, excuse me for always telling you what I'm doing instead of just doing it. Ich versuche, Worte zu finden und entschuldige, dass ich euch ständig erkläre, was ich versuche zu tun, statt es einfach zu tun. But I tell you what I'm doing so we can do it together. And you can do it on your own. And maybe if I talk about how I do it, it gives us more sense of what it's about. So I have a certain experience of what I want to do. speak about with you, share with you, do with you.

[09:47]

So I look for words that seem to represent how I feel or experience. darstellen können, was ich erfahre, what you experience and feel. All right, so the phrase that came up to me, that's what I said, isn't it? The phrase that came up to me and said hello... Like a fish coming out of the water and saying hello. Hi, fish. Yeah. I'm sorry, I start thinking efficient and things like that.

[10:48]

I'm hopeless. I'm sorry. Something fishy here. Okay. Anyway, the phrase that came to me was integrated attentional breath. And I kept trying to kind of brush it away the last three or four days. And I have always tried to shake it away in the last three or four days. But when I can't shake something away, I know it contains something. So today I decided to look at integrated attentional breath. And then I have to ask myself, why do I not just say attentional breath, why do I add the word indigree?

[12:02]

And I know it's a little, it's a basic, no, I was going to say a little like, it is basically the same And then I have to say that this is basically the same process. Like finding the third copy of the Shuram Gama Sutra because somehow I knew, felt where it was. So then when I can't throw something away and I kept feeling this word integrated has to join attentional breath. Also, wenn ich etwas nicht wegwerfen kann, und ich habe immer wieder dieses Gefühl gehabt, dass das Wort integriert, zu dieser Wendung Aufmerksamkeitsatem dazugehört.

[13:16]

I know that there's several sutras or something like that, teachings hidden in the word. Dann weiß ich, dass da unterschiedliche sutren oder lehren sich in diesem Wort verbergen. So first... First, I had to say, what's it integrated with? Well, obviously, it would be circumstances. Yeah, but it actually occurred to me when I know it goes beyond circumstances, so it's integrated with the autonomic nervous system. But I know that it is also beyond the circumstances. And then it was clear to me that it is integrated with the autonomic nervous system. Then I had to explore, why do I feel it? No, it's integrated with the autonomic nervous system. Which is also called the involuntary, I think inaccurately, but involuntary nervous system.

[14:24]

Okay, so what is the autonomic nervous system? It's the way in which we... the nervous system monitors... controls, monitors the breath and the heartbeat and swallowing and so forth. Digestion. Monitor. Okay. These words you all know. Monitor, like... Okay, fine. Um... It's an odd word in English.

[15:41]

I don't actually like it, because it means to mind, but if we use it to mind the world, that's okay. No, then I should use a different one. But monitors are okay. We do the best we can here. It's not efficient, but we're doing the best we can. She doesn't have to translate my nonsense. So here I'm talking about practice in a way I don't know very many Zen teachers talk about. I'm treating practice here as a kind of athletic event. But, you know, if you're a martial arts teacher or a yoga teacher or you're an Aikido teacher, probably you talk about things in a similar way that I'm doing. And so when I say integrated attentional breath... Now, we're first assuming you've all realized attentional breath.

[16:53]

Which I happen to know you haven't. But some of you have. And all of you understand that it's possible and that's almost like realizing it. Okay, but it is, that is true. If you don't know it's possible, there's no chance. But if you know it's possible, it begins to be possible. Now, okay, so attentional breath. What happens when we add the word the experience of it being integrated? I mean, you feel it integrates the body and you feel it integrates the body with the mind.

[18:19]

And you feel that he integrates the body with the spirit. And the yogi doesn't just coast along in consciousness. coasting along with consciousness. Anyway, the yogi doesn't just coast along in consciousness, letting the autonomic nervous system take care of most bodily functions. As soon as you have an integrated attentional breath, You have opened a door to the autonomic nervous system. You opened a door to integrating the autonomic nervous system with what you're doing.

[19:37]

Now... You know, there's a stereotype of Asians, East Asians, as being inscrutable. What is inscrutable? Not able to scrutinize, not able to understand. Okay. Es gibt einen Stereotyp für Asiaten, dass sie... Underschaubar. Underschaubar, genau, danke. Underschaubar. Underschaubar, that's very good. That's good. Happy to help. Tell me some more. I said it, yeah. You said it, okay. I had to check out. Anyway, there are quite a few early Hollywood Asian actors quit acting in Hollywood because they are always supposed to portray inscrutable, impassive kind of Asians.

[20:40]

Impassive means not feeling. Passive. Impassive. Unfeeling. I mean, since German is a dialect of English, why the heck is it so hard to translate? I mean, English is a dialect of German. Excuse me, I said it wrong. Okay. Well... research indicates that although the autonomic nervous system is supposed to be half sort of unconscious and involuntary, it is

[21:44]

it does assess, although not fully consciously, it does assess the bodily, emotional states of other people. If you study the mapping, the topography of emotional bodily states, somatotropic, I think it's called, even if it's an involuntary and autonomic system, it is telling you what's going on with other people. And it is causing you to feel similar emotions or to react to their emotions unconsciously.

[23:07]

And that's true. I mean, I know that from experience. Okay. So my experience of the so-called inscrutability of the... where I lived off and on for 35 years, is they do have a different bodily emotional language. But I also think they're more in control of their bodily language. In other words, I think that the yogic sensibility penetrates the general culture quite a lot. So my experience as a Japanese person is much more able to disguise or not show a bodily topography of emotions.

[24:35]

It took me quite a while to really, before I really could recognize when a Japanese person was seriously angry. But I did get a feeling for it after a while. One hopes, you know. One of the most amazing things that I experienced in the early days of living in Japan. In those days, in the 60s, there weren't many Westerners or Caucasians in Kyoto, particularly in the winter. There was a handful of them.

[25:36]

And if you looked like a white man, or an Indian, no, a white man, and you wait for a taxi, it wouldn't stop. Because You know, non-Japanese would get in and they'd want to know, they'd tell them an address. The Japanese, the taxi drivers know where the address is. Nobody knows where the addresses are. For instance, I lived at 31 Nishinoyama Cho. That was the 31st house built in historical sequence in that area.

[26:53]

The house next to me was 732. Because it was built 732 times after my... Department stores send packages into the area and then somebody else picks them up and takes them to the next step and then a third delivery takes them to the final, who happens to know where the 31st house is. Yeah, and now they're beginning to get rid of the mandala and start having a rational system of addresses. Rational from our point of view. And I've had the experience of having a taxi driver, once you get in, for two or three hours help you try to find an address.

[28:08]

It's not just nearby. But after a while I found that, and it did coincide when I actually knew how to tell taxi drivers where to go. I'd put my hand up in some way that they knew I knew where I was going and they'd stop. I tried to teach other Westerners, don't put your arm out too far, have it in close to the body, and then they'll stop.

[29:19]

And what's the case? Before I got the gesture right, The taxi drivers would go right by you and they'd go. And I'd go. Yeah. I learned what that meant. No. Thank you. So it is the case in my experience, and what I'm trying to say is that what I mean by integrated attentional breath, which is also a way of giving you a door to Hishiryo, noticing without thinking.

[30:21]

Because if you try to practice for yourself, try it out, integrated attentional breath. And to have an attentional breath attention can't be too involved in too much thinking. and tries to have an attentive breath, then the attention cannot get too much into thinking. And I have found that this attentive breath So the practice of noticing without thinking is developed through, based on, supported by an integrated attentional breath.

[31:42]

And when you practice this integrated attentional breath... Oops. It's a word in my language. Oh, oops. She said, oops, and I said, oops. Anyway, integrated attentional breath. You're more connected with your digestion. You can feel your stomach. And much of Zazen practice is about discovering the opening to being more engaged with your autonomic nervous system. I can remember when I first was sitting Ich kann mich daran erinnern, als ich angefangen habe zu sitzen.

[33:10]

Da habe ich begonnen, meinen Herzschlag zu bemerken. Und das hat mich verängstigt. Ich hatte schon über 20 Jahre gelebt und habe meinen Herzschlag nicht so häufig bemerkt. Und da... And I thought, seven, eight, well, it might stop. There can't be too many of those beats, and it's not endless. I get kind of scared. And then I thought, well, why should I be scared of awareness? Because my heart's going to be beating there whether I'm aware of it or not. I'm supposed to be a Zen practitioner.

[34:15]

I used to at least have the courage to count my heart. So that actually, it sounds silly, but that actually was an opening to becoming aware of bodily functions in a whole new way throughout my body. And of course this relates to your spine. And the whole spinal nervous system and the gray matter of the spine itself. So it integrates you with your spine and with your autonomic nervous system.

[35:25]

And with awareness, bodily awareness. And with your sensorial circumstances. You know, the word phenomena actually etymologically means sensorial circumstances. You know what I mean? Technically, that's what it means. But it's lost that meaning and now it means things outside you. Das hat es ursprünglich mal bedeutet, jetzt hat es diese Bedeutung verloren und bedeutet einfach Dinge außerhalb von dir. Okay, but so I have to avoid the word phenomena actually. Also muss ich eigentlich das Wort Phänomen vermeiden.

[36:26]

Circumstances is what circles or stands around you. So at least in English, sensorial circumstances means your experience of what's around you. Sensorial experience of what's around you. And that then becomes the basis for noticing without thinking. Okay. I beat that. topic to death. Dead horse just got up. Do you have the expression to beat a dead horse? I don't know what that means.

[37:27]

Yeah. Anyway. And I did a lot of horsing around. Yes. And I did a lot of I have to practice. And I'm getting hoarse. Anyway, this is my fooling around lecture. But I'm also serious. Integrated attentional breath. If you get a feeling for that, you can begin to monitor your own breath, but not consciously. Integrated, attentive breathing. If you can develop a feeling for that, and if you can begin to demonstrate your own breathing, but not consciously,

[38:28]

you begin to be able to monitor your situation in the world and with others in a way that notices without thinking. And the word zen means to absorb. And so you're absorbing the world and being absorbed by the world through integrated attentional breath. And this is a different way of being in the world than at least I grew up with. And this mandala of this cloth It's also in my body and head.

[39:31]

And we're spreading it out all the time. Thank you very much.

[39:36]

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