Being more interested in what I find on my diving tour, what kind of fishes and what kind of rocks are there. Yeah. Deutschbitte. At least the headlines. Yeah. Um... I will be here for six weeks and will be here for three weeks And I tried to describe my process a little bit. And I felt as if I could let myself in on whatever happens here. And I used the picture as if I, especially when Roshi describes pictures,

[01:04]

using words as if I really, and this is for me also such a physical act, as if I really can dive into the pictures and into the words and really can swim around something like that. And that I am on my swim tour, diving tour, that I found something new for myself, that I found more interest in this hardware, more about the rituals and how you do it, why you do it, the experience, so that the inner world somehow wants to learn more for me. What is that exactly? I then find out, I don't really make many calls, but sometimes I do, and I always find out how difficult it really is to make friends, close friends.

[02:23]

Then I get questions like, what are you actually doing? And why do you do that and so on? These are actually quite understandable questions. I'm rather quite silent because I don't have an answer for it. How am I supposed to be someone who doesn't practice and doesn't deal with Zen or something like that, when we are in different worlds? And I am very aware of that, that at the moment I have no language with which I can convey what I experience from the outside and what is true to me. This has become very clear to me. At the same time, it is also a wish. I want it, because these are close friends who are right for me. Yeah.

[03:27]

Well, I think you don't want to answer the question, what is Zen, for yourself even. So you need a kind of press release. It makes your friends feel okay and it's not too weird. I enjoy finding a mind that's Yeah, it's not sleeping, but it's something like sleeping and being awake at the same time.

[04:27]

Some kind of press release. It's not sleeping, but I'm awake. Something, I don't know. Yeah, just something simple. That's maybe too complicated. But you don't probably want to say, well, I'm swimming through images, you know. And then they start feeling you may drown. But maybe that's why we call our little magazine now XEN instead of ZEN. That's good not to have an answer even for yourself. good to have no answers. I don't think so myself. Yes, I think it's more like a question than a recording. Mr. Roshi used a picture in February in his practice week, where he said, the air is like a wave and the students in the broadcast, or all of us in the broadcast, are actually like a sea of air.

[05:41]

and this picture somehow spoke to me very much, again, and as I was sitting on the stage now, it just felt the same for me with some people, that I suddenly felt, yes, it is like a great stream of breath in which I am swimming, and it is the same for me with the curses, it is not like that with every person, but with some it is really like, Maybe I'll let Atmar say something. Yeah, this is going back to a seminar you gave in February when you talked about the press, and it's like... This one is the field of Aimal Desi. And you used the image that the press is like a wave, and in the Zen we all together... The press. The breath. The breath is like a wave, and being in the Zen, we are somehow an ocean of breath.

[06:50]

The picture really touched me, and when I was sitting in the Zen, I experienced it with some people, this feeling of being connected by the breath, in a wave of breath. And this was very, this moved me. And sitting now in the center recently, I had the feeling that I'm connected with people through a notion of breath. And I have the same feeling with some of the people during the bow. That's like a flow. And I like that it's like bathing in it. Mm-hmm. It's one side. Mm-hmm. The other side is that I'm going close to an emotional disaster.

[08:08]

In your life? Or in practice, in your emotions, yeah. And I have the feeling through the many zazen we do I lose the control about these feelings and it's getting more and more stronger. Yes, it is so strange to see all this side by side and that I can hardly say what I am now and that it is also a reverse effort somewhere. I sit to get less into emotions and I achieve exactly the opposite. And to see that, it's somehow curious to see both of that. And I sit and there are more emotions and this is going parallel.

[09:16]

Yeah, okay. Well, sometimes, I mean, usually it's better to have your sitting developed before you go through an emotional crisis. Meistens ist es besser, wenn sich dein Sitzen entwickelt hat, bevor du durch eine emotionale Krise gehst. Because if you develop the ability to sit through anything in effect. Wenn du die Fähigkeit entwickelt hast, durch alles durchzusitzen. And you can let yourself feel things without acting on them. Und wenn du dir selber erlaubst, die Dinge zu fühlen, ohne darauf zu agieren. Yeah, so you really have the power to just be clear and still in the midst of things without having to act on them or even identify with them. This is the kind of strength that helps a lot. But if you start sitting or your sitting is developing in the midst of an emotional appeal... Yeah, and I'm speaking to everyone.

[10:29]

I'm not just speaking to you or saying this fits you exactly. But... the changes that occur through sitting, combined with going through an emotional upheaval, sometimes can be too disturbing. And in that case, and I don't know if it means you, it's good to limit the amount you sit. I think if you can continue sitting and sit just maybe half an hour a day or one period a day, that's probably best. I think in general you want to turn toward your problems, but not turn so far toward them it overwhelms you.

[11:38]

So you find that place where you can... So you allow yourself to see what's going on, but you are not overcome by it. And to find this place. I feel good while sitting. As long as I sit, I don't have any problems. It's just that afterwards, in the old age, and... Anyway, you have to find some balance.

[12:42]

And see if sitting less makes the rest of the day better and so forth. Doris, are you sitting there because you're not sitting there? I'm not here, I'm there. I was wondering, are you there or here? I'm not here, I'm there. You're now here, nowhere. That's too bad. I always thought we'd catch an interesting question. All right. So the Eno's going to have to make a schedule, which maybe means that Snow's eyes in this evening, I don't know what. The Eno must change the schedule so that we're free tonight. But if the Innu can figure out how to put a zazen period in there, it's not bad. Thank you very much. Thank you for translating.

[13:52]

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