I appreciate your sincerity in wanting to find a way to practice here and in your daily life. And I also empathize with how difficult it is. The process, the course of finding out how to practice though is a very rich one. You'll find if you really make the effort, the successes in that effort will be formative of who you are the rest of your life.

[01:08]

So it's almost like you have to come to know the texture of yourself. The texture of yourself as it encounters others, other people, and the world. Now, Sukhyoshi, you know, he was with this tough disciple of his father's, Yokojin So-on, who the Zen mind, beginner's mind, is dedicated to. And Yokojin was rather tough with little So-on, little Shinryu. And was rather suspicious of him too, because being his teacher's son, it wasn't, you know, what was he really doing there?

[02:55]

Was it just kind of, he's there because he had to be there? You know, part of the process of inheriting a temple and so forth. Mm-hmm. So... Gyokujin was quite, you know, strict, too. He used to... He would say... I will not accept any temple where there's any monastery where there's lazy practice. Where the rooms are full of dust. Yeah. And Shinryu, his practice really began, sounds strange, when he decided to clean the soot off all the pots in the kitchen.

[04:15]

He took, he just decided, he made a vow to himself, I will get the, because you know, in those days they cooked, everything was kerosene lanterns and they cooked with fire, smoke, and it was, everything was filthy. Very soon the soot and the pot are almost the same thing. But he decided as a vow to keep the pots free of soot. Now, I'm not saying all of you to practice have to become janitors. Janitors are people who clean buildings. So it's not a bad idea, actually.

[05:22]

We could have a little business, the Dharma Sangha janitor. If you need some puts removed, call the Dharma Sangha. Anyway, he made this decision and... And to express his sincerity in practice. And I remember, you know, in a way something similar, though it's kind of hard to explain. I started practicing in 61, I guess it was. In an old synagogue that had been a Japanese temple before the war.

[06:37]

And all the Japanese, of course, had been relocated. But somehow they held on to the ownership of this temple while they were in these... camps in New Mexico and Arizona. It was a pretty funky old building. So we made the upstairs, an upstairs room, we made it into a zendo. And sanded the floor and things. So I myself, I don't know quite why I did it, but I took a vow to wax the floor every Saturday. And I was a fanatic waxer.

[07:44]

And part of my vow was to find each week one thing that no one cleaned. So I... So after I waxed the floor I hunted and I'd find like one Saturday I'd find a skylight way up with a stained glass skylight way up high that you couldn't even get to and I'd scale my way over and clean it. And the next week I'd find maybe the tops of all the lamps everywhere, which get covered with dust. Yeah.

[09:02]

And it's strange. We had that building looking pretty good, you know, after a while. And I got a strange satisfaction out of doing this. It wasn't my job. It wasn't my family. It was just this little corner of the world I decided to take care of. Es war nicht mein Beruf, es war nicht meine Familie, es war einfach so eine kleine Ecke der Welt, wo ich mich entschlossen hatte, dass ich zuständig war. And if you've read Streets End by Issan Tommy Dorsey, I believe there's a point where this kind of drug-wracked guy... Und wenn ihr Streets End gelesen habt über Issan Tommy Dorsey, diesen von Drogen heruntergekommenen Typen, dann... On the way home, on the way, I guess, to go to Zazen or something.

[10:03]

Auf dem Weg zum Zazen, glaube ich. I can't remember exactly, but he picked up something off the street, a piece of paper, a Kleenex or something, somebody had thrown it down. Er hob irgendetwas vom Boden auf, ein Kleenex, ein Stück Papier, was jemand weggeworfen hatte. And he thought something to himself. I remember the book. What's happening to me? Why am I picking this up? I must be nuts. Is it my job to clean the world now? What's happening to me? And that was his kind of first enlightenment experience. He realized he was lost. Now, I really don't think this has much to do with cleaning. It has to do with some... with... Finding that you live in the world.

[11:17]

Or finding that you belong in the world. Even the precepts we take, do not kill, do not take what is not given, and so forth. They're not about Buddhism, they're kind of just... basic human things. But you vow to be at home in the world. You vow that, yes, I'm a human being and this is where I live and I take responsibility. Practice has to start there. It often starts with what I sometimes feel is an axle bow. You know what an axle is of a car?

[12:24]

Or it's a kind of drive shaft or something. A drive shaft is what turns the wheels. You have to ask the engineers over here. You have to kind of punch a hole in the persona of the world. That makes sense. What am I saying? Or find a seam, as I suggested, where you open up the world. So Suzuki Roshi entered the world when he started cleaning the pots. And after for me, I guess after being kind of a very confused intellectual guy, I started waxing this floor.

[13:33]

So I think we've understood, you've understood this sense of original body. Or precept body. This body which has no business but happiness. This body that isn't worried about anything. But if dying comes, it's okay. Living comes, it's okay. This is fundamental. This is the way it is, actually. And we add lots of things. Until we lose this sense of just being in the world.

[14:49]

But this world belongs to us. This is our home. Everywhere is our home. So some kind of vow which happens out of the texture of your life Where you feel a vow which opens you, enters you into this world as home. I don't know what it will be for each of you, but it's something original for each person. And in many ways it must have happened to you already. And maybe through practice, zazen, you'll notice it or it'll come back to you.

[16:05]

And you can bring its strength and presence back into your life. So let's look at the four foundations of mindfulness again. Because, you know, we can talk about the precepts and vows and practices like the four foundations of mindfulness as, you know, ways in which we express our desire to be a good person. or the way we try to reform ourselves yeah or become clearer yeah but from the point of view of practice it's really to find a way in the details of your daily life To open up some space for your original body.

[17:23]

So the precepts are really... Yes, to follow the precepts, this is good. But for us, this... Yoga-chara-based Zen practice. Precepts are a way to open up our true nature. To give some space in our life for that body which couldn't break the precepts. A very concentrated, clear state of mind can't break the precepts. If it does, there's ambivalence and there's no more concentration. So original mind or emptiness itself is our true nature.

[18:34]

Our true nature in the sense that it finds the world complete. And the more this is present in you, it begins to complete you. So when you practice something like the, say, the four awakenings, Of mindfulness. You are, let's take the mindfulness of the body. Now Sukershi mentions, I believe, the four postures of walking, sitting, standing and reclining. And he says Zazen is not one of these.

[19:48]

Zazen is all of these. What does he mean? Why do we emphasize in Zen these four postures? Because this is where you will live your entire life. All of your life will be found either walking, sitting, standing or reclining. This is quite interesting. Interesting because why point out something so obvious? Well, because one way to look at this is each of these is a way of getting somewhere, doing something.

[20:54]

The main problem with us Westerners in practice is that we're always trying to do something. To accomplish something or figure something out or plan something. This is quite productive. But it's based on distrust. You don't trust this world as it is. You're always trying to improve it or something. You don't trust yourself as you are. You don't trust just being alive is quite enough. This is extraordinary. I mean, I'm sorry to point out such obvious things, but... This is extraordinary that we're alive.

[21:59]

During, you know, there's lots of flies around these days. And during breakfast I was watching a fly. He was cleaning his back feet. And he was very busy. And when he finished, he put his back feet down and walked over toward your food. Yeah, it was totally extraordinary. This little tiny guy, his back feet, he was very busy. Mm-hmm. I could never do that. Yeah. And then when he gets, he flies off. Yeah, but everything is like that. Something. I can't believe it. But generally our mind doesn't allow us to see these things.

[23:00]

Or we brush it off. So the fact is, you will spend the rest of your life in these four postures. So the postures on the one hand are ways you get your needed rest or walk somewhere, etc. Yeah, when you look at it You know, and that's the usual way to look at it. But when you look at it in terms of your whole life, oh yes, this is where I live.

[24:21]

So the teaching of these four postures in Buddhism is to find out how you live in your walking. If you're going to spend a great percentage of your life in walking, find out, be fully alive in your walking. I mean, if you are in your head and thinking all the time, then these are just temporary changes, sort of flight change. Now I'm walking, but I'm the same person I was when I was sitting, etc., If you feel you're the same person when you're sitting as when you're walking, then you identify who you are with your thoughts. That means you're not really living in this world.

[25:31]

You're living in your thoughts, which is mostly a cultural creation. And so much of your energy, your vital energy, is wasted away in trying to maintain this world of thought. Yeah, of course, we do take walks sometimes in the forest and so forth. Yeah, and that's a kind of special kind of walking. But ordinary walking anywhere, how do you live in your walking? Yeah. How do you find the posture, mental and physical posture of walking? Whereas I always say you feel nourished and complete.

[26:34]

If you're going to live in your walking, find a way to feel nourished and complete in your walking. This is the practice, the mindfulness of the body. So the same thing for reclining, the same thing for sitting, the same... thing for standing. This study of how you stand is the root of many martial, maybe all Asian martial art practice and Qigong and so forth. If you really stand find how you live in your standing, an immense power comes into your standing. So this Buddhist idea or thing is a kind of radical practicalness.

[27:43]

Ah yes, you live in these four postures. Make each of these postures a worthy place to live. This is mindfulness of the body. And likewise, make your breath a worthy place to live. This is respecting your breath, respecting your walking. So, you're just alive, breathing now. So, this kind of thing is, this kind of attitude and practice is mindfulness or awakening the body. Awakening the body in standing, in sitting, and so forth.

[29:04]

Now, Sukhya, she says, zazen is all of these, is it's because zazen is where we most deeply awaken our body. And then that awakened body of sasen flows into our walking, into our sitting. So when Tsukiji makes such a simple statement, there's a big Buddhist world behind it. And when we practiced for the awakening of the mind, mindfulness of the mind, we notice the various modes of mind.

[30:09]

You notice the background of the mind, like whether the mind is rising or sinking. These are two very basic things. If your mind is sinking, oh, God, everything... Rising mind is, oh, okay, whatever, okay, I'm ready. And you can feel the difference between this rising mind and sinking mind. And mindfulness of the mind is to really observe, not try to do anything, just observe when your mind is sinking, when it's rising.

[31:14]

It's like mindfulness of the world as mindfulness of phenomena, as mental objects, which I mentioned yesterday. It's also the practice through which you notice the traditional five hindrances. Because if you just notice you're walking, You know, or notice your eating or whatever you're doing. You see that sometimes your mind is quite heavy and slow. The word in English is torpor. Torpor. I like it, torpor. I was feeling torpid today or something. And or your mind is restless and compulsive.

[32:38]

You notice you can't notice the world as phenomena, as mental objects. Because your mind is so restless, it's jumping about. Or it's compulsively involved in something. So this is to bring your practice into your daily life. To notice whether your mind is sluggish or your mind is too lively and restless. Or to notice if your mind is full of ill will. Those people I work with, God, I wish they were in a different office. And the stupid way he organizes his desk. And then farts. And your mind is full of ill will.

[33:46]

Okay, well, fine. Maybe this guy deserves it. I don't know. But does your mind deserve it? Your mind starts going... So he's the one who's got you. Your ill will isn't hurting him, it's hurting you. Or as another of the five hindrances, one is doubt. I'm not good enough. I can't do this. Now, you can say, oh, this is my character. I'm not good enough. I'm not very good, actually. But Buddhism says that's really a mode of mind more than whether you're good or bad. You have a mind which notices which is based on doubt.

[34:47]

So always emphasizes your weaknesses. Yeah. So it's quite useful to practice then mindfulness of phenomena as mental objects. Because it allows us to see these various things which are always hindering us. So everyday practice is simply to observe these things. and the act of observing creates a bigger mind every time you observe something you don't do anything you don't try to correct it you just observe it

[35:50]

You're creating a bigger state, a wider state of mind. If you keep practicing mindfulness, this observing state of mind becomes bigger and bigger. And it begins to be where you live. And it simply absorbs torpa. Torpa? I got you. Doubt? Oh, silly doubt. Like that. So that's everyday practice. And some kind of effort or intention or energy like this is necessary to bring into the details of your activity. So, again, let's look at mindfulness of emotions and feelings. And here emotions and feelings are linked.

[37:09]

So you notice your feelings first of all in terms of whether they're pleasurable, pleasant or unpleasant. So you're actually just developing this observing mind which notices the topography of your mind as feelings. The mind which keeps saying, oh, I like this, I don't like that. And the mind actually has some kind of swing back and forth between alternatives. So the teaching here is also to notice the mind that's impartial. Which neither likes nor dislikes. But as long as we're involved in primarily identifying with self as who we are, what we are, then likes and dislikes are very important.

[38:22]

It's what reinforces the self and rejects what we don't like. Again, then you're not really living in this world. Because this extraordinary magical show is not divided into likes and dislikes. Denn diese ganz außerordentliche magische Vorstellung, die wird nicht aufgeteilt in Zuneigungen und Abneigungen. It's appearing, you don't give a darn whether you like or dislike it. Und das kümmert sich überhaupt nicht darum, ob du magst oder nicht magst. But you hardly notice it, because it's, you know, all the dislikes are disqualified, no likes, etc. Aber du bemerkst es überhaupt nicht, weil deine Abneigungen, etc. Yeah. Sure. Such a good translator.

[39:23]

Why don't you finish the lecture, I'll sit down. Okay. So our practice is you begin to notice more and more the impartial. You begin to try to stop the mind swinging back and forth between likes and dislikes. And the likes are okay, but then you want what you like, and then you have to have the money to do it. So likes tend to narrow the mind, and dislikes tend to narrow the mind. But once you develop a taste for the impartial mind your mind feels better. You just look at things. Oh, that's what it is. You look at people, oh, that's what you are.

[40:42]

Quite free of likes and dislikes. And the person you're looking at feels free when you look at them that way. They feel, hey, this person gives me some space. They don't know why they feel that way, but in fact you are not categorizing them by likes and dislikes. You wonder sometimes why some people like you and some people don't. And it's mostly because your own mind is shaped by likes and dislikes. You find that when you start really living in a wide, impartial mind, free of likes and dislikes, your relationship with everybody improves.

[42:00]

And this impartial mind is the gateway to non-graspable feeling. The much more subtle feeling that doesn't fall into the categories of something you can grasp or like or dislike. And it's the opening to equanimity. Yeah. Yeah, so this is the practice, part of the practice of being, awakening mindfulness of the emotions and feelings. And it also includes, you know, noticing, oh, now I'm angry. Now I'm more angry, etc.

[43:01]

But not trying to stop the anger. Maybe at least in English you could emphasize the word just. What would it be in German? But like just anger. I'm just angry. Or I'm just walking. I'm not doing anything else. I'm just walking. This is to live in your walking. Okay. Oh, my goodness. So what I would suggest for your daily practice is you take some vow. Like I always like the four unlimiteds. Or they're called the four immeasurables too. Or they're also called the four states of divine dwelling in the ten directions. Four states of divine dwelling in the ten directions.

[44:26]

And the four immeasurables are unlimited kindness, unlimited friendliness, and unlimited empathetic joy, and unlimited compassion. and immeasurable equanimity. Say you take a vow, this axle vow, and it's like the vow, say, to do zazen every morning three times a week. It's better seven times a week, but three, let's make it easy. And you do it for the sake of the vow even more than for the zazen.

[45:30]

In the end, the vow has, if anything, more power than the zazen. The zazen may awaken, remind you of original body. But the vow cuts through like the sword of wisdom. Cuts through into this, not the world, I want to do this, I don't want to do that, I don't feel the mood, I'm too busy. As long as you're in that mind, you'll never practice. You may have good understanding, but it doesn't mean much. Practice is first. So you make this vow for the sake of the vow. Something easy. Two times a week. Okay. And then you do it.

[46:39]

So one vow I'm suggesting, so it's not always cleaning, is every day from, say, 9 to 9.30, practice the four immeasurables. If you work in an office, no one will talk to you all day except between 9 and 9.30. There's something nice about him between 9 and 9.30 the rest of the day. So, you know, just try it. Try to go over that boundary which separates us and just... Practice kindness. Try to discover the mind of equanimity. Consciously, intentionally try to take joy in someone else's success. Just between 9 and 9.30.

[47:48]

You can be a stinker the rest of the day. But this kind of vow is important. This is how we bring practice into everyday life. Okay, thank you very much.

[48:11]

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