Well, as most of you saw, my family or daughters, older daughters just left. And the two of them arrived with a cold or flu and they left it behind with me. So I'm not feeling perfectly well, but I'm okay. So, yeah. Thus I have heard. The Buddha did it without Buddha, Dharma and Sangha. Shakyamuni, the historical Buddha. What is the meaning of being alone, lonesomeness in practice?

[01:03]

Lonesomeness. Lonesomeness. We should be sorry for the Buddha. He didn't have us to practice with. Next. Well, for me, I like Sangha. I like our Sangha a lot. And I would like to thank you for helping us building the Sangha. Also, sprichst du selbstdeutsch? Ich spreche selbstdeutsch. I like the sangha and I like our sangha.

[02:08]

I would like to thank you for helping to create this sangha. And there are so many friends from the times here from the Haus der Stille and or a trip to Japan for example. So this is really Wonderful. And I would like to ask you, why do we say practice? Why do we say we practice? Well, what word would you like? I like practice, but I wonder why this word was found. On Japanese it's shugyo.

[03:09]

And I can't actually remember what the characters mean. But the feeling of Shugyo is somewhat different. It means something like, the feeling of it is something like... the context of making an effort. And it also has the meaning of an atmosphere or... Like you can see shugyo on a person's body.

[04:38]

And it's used in a way somewhat different than we can use the word practice. But we have to have some word, I guess. And the closest meaning, I think, in English is to enable. To be able. To enable yourself to do something. Okay. Sorry, what would you like it to be? What do you feel you're doing when you... what we call practice? I have the feeling to master the moment. Master?

[05:55]

Don't you also want to... Meistern? Sometimes. Sometimes I have the feeling... No, the moment to master is my feeling. But it's not always like that. To me, practice means something like being alive. when you look at what being alive means. Anything more to say about that? I'm moving towards black eyes somehow. Is that what I'm seeing? Thin eyes. Black eyes. When we talk about Sangha, we are talking about a field in which people

[06:58]

When we are talking about Sangha, we are talking about something when people are having a third or second or third re-education or socialization. And that's within a framework which is chosen by ourself. You mean that's first family and then school and then... Okay. And that has also political implications. And my first impression is that, and I also talked to you about that, the wise ones are somehow refraining from politics.

[08:18]

try not to be involved in politics or avoid... Sages, you mean, sages, wise people. Yes, sages. nevertheless in history there was a political influence of the sages for instance they had influence on the imperial advisors in Asia and that might also have been a reason for the persecution and From your point of view, is there a larger frame in which Sangha It's difficult for me to express, but somehow, even if we try to avoid to be in society, we are always in society, even if we try to avoid society, it always has its implication in society.

[09:43]

Maybe you could say something about that. Why is that too nice? Because this kind of discussion very often do not lead to anything. You'd rather be a politician than a sage? Well, I think in China Buddhism was persecuted for a number of reasons. One, that it... somehow was outside the political framework and that threatened the government.

[10:59]

Also, it was very successful and lots of people were participants. And they felt that too many people were doing it and they needed people for the work of the society. It was thought that for a lot of monks it was a free lunch. They were there because they weren't too smart and it was a good way to get fed. But I don't think... It wasn't usually persecuted because someone was an advisor to the emperor. The advisor might be exiled, but if the emperor changed... So, I mean, I think that...

[12:09]

I don't know. When Jerry Brown was governor of California, I was at Tassajara and I got a phone call. This sort of crank phone call, crank phone we had through the forest. And he said, you know, the Senate has passed a capital punishment bill and I think I should veto it. What do you think? And I said, yeah, I think you should veto it. So I don't know. Should I have not done that?

[13:32]

I don't know. I did it. But the problem is that if you really take too strong a political stance, you exclude the people who... on the other side. And then they're often the ones who need to practice the most. So... So if you're a liberal, you should hide that fact so the conservatives practice. Then we have a chance to change them. Or vice versa. Okay. There's no way. I mean, that would be a long discussion. There's no way that... organization is not in politics, no matter what they do.

[14:40]

And one of the things it can do is also give neutral territory for people to talk about. Again, Jerry Brown wanted to ever. private conversation about whether there should be nuclear power in California. And if he did it in a hotel or conference center the waiters will tell the newspapers. The only place he was sure because the monks don't talk The only place where he was quite sure, because the monks didn't speak, was to do it in Tassajara, in our center in San Francisco.

[15:44]

The other day you pointed out that several forms of existence and several forms of times are existing. And I experience now certain difficulties when different time... experiences of times are meeting. Probably I should learn to accept that. But does it make sense to connect these time experiences from time to time? From time to time. I think I understand what you're talking about. And, yeah, one just has to accept it and get used to it.

[17:27]

And it can be at some points a difficulty, like leaving Sashin and going out and driving. Your mental and physical space is different than usually when you want to drive a car. In America we have don't drink and drive. Maybe we should have don't. Zazen and drive. But after a while you find, with this, various things I've been trying to emphasize, this sense of, you know, a pause. Mm-hmm. eventually you find a kind of

[18:35]

base pace, an underlying pace. Like a baseline in music. And the various harmonies and melodies might be on top of that. If you feel that, you can make the shift fairly easily. And sometimes I've said that lineage may be, you can understand lineage as being an inherited pace. Like Shugyo, you can see that in a person. At the moment I am feeling an abundance of food, work and people.

[19:51]

Food, work and people? Yes. I am feeling full of food, work and people. And with the food, I practice right measurement. You look pretty thin. No, still, okay, not part. And with the work, the right effort. And with the people, maybe both. Yeah, with the food, I try the right measure, mainly with the cook. With the work, the right effort, so to speak. And since I've been here almost from the beginning, I find the topic Sangha quite interesting and at the same time now in the third week challenging, because the practice body, I don't know,

[21:07]

keeps changing and reforming and re-choreographing. And this last week I wish it could have been stable. Yeah. . It's rather kind of a statement where I'm at, and I wonder, I try to be open for song, I like the song, but what it's all making it possible, and yet there is the other side too. Is there? I don't know. You mean you wish it were more like Crestone, where it didn't change?

[22:12]

Yeah, I thought that if people come two weeks and the change is not every weekend, that that would... Next year, you mean, if we do it again? Yeah. for one who is staying, I mean, for the people coming and leaving. And it wasn't so difficult for me to let the people go, but to accept and welcome the newcomers now the third time, or the second time for Sashin again. It's a challenge for me, like a disliked practice. It's a bit difficult for me to change, and I feel that if people have been there longer, two weeks or so, it's easier for me. And now, in the last round, it felt like a challenge for me to leave or to be open, to be welcomed again. It may be that we can absorb one change, but to absorb two changes or three changes is more difficult.

[23:22]

Well, I mean, I can use Governor Brown as an example again. I was on the way down to Tassajara, having to be in San Francisco and Green Gulch. And he had just been elected governor. And he decided to come to Tassajara. He'd never been there before. And it was practice period. So they wouldn't let him in the gate. So I got this phone call. They said, Governor-elect Brown is... at the gate and we're not letting him in. What should we do?" And he had several people with him. They were all standing outside the gate. I'm governor of this state.

[24:43]

And I said, well, there's an old rule that government officials who are responsible for where the monastery is and major donors Can any time come to the monastery and inspect it to make sure it's doing what it should be doing? So I said, I didn't know him, and I said, well, so he can have an inspection tour, and I'll come down and inspect him shortly. So it's actually a very old tradition that virtually no one, except someone like the governor, can come into a practice period. But I don't see how we can do that. Here. If you want to.

[26:04]

Do that, you have to come to Creston. If we could buy one or more of the farms around here, we could maybe make this a place where we could be for three months without leaving. I think it's too small to have you know, people here and not able to leave for three months. But we have to take into consideration your feelings and others for what we do next year. Savi? I don't have any special question today.

[27:07]

An ordinary one would be all right. Also an ordinary question, I just want to somehow report what I experienced and what... Yes, please. I was very much touched by the issue Sangha. Above all the group I was in on Tuesday, there were many important impulses for me. And the picture which is still present in me is the picture that it is possible in a sangha Is that in a sangha it's possible?

[28:08]

To be accepted as you are. With your imaginary suitcase. Yes. And that there is the room also to practice that with others. And that there is also the possibility to just put down the suitcase. For me, that opens a new kind of openness. And I'm very glad that I can experience this in this sangha.

[29:16]

Yeah, probably we are too. Yes? I would like to reply or say something to Gunda. I am extremely happy that I can be here for one week. I would never. It would have been much too difficult for me to come for two weeks. That would have been too difficult for me. it wouldn't have been possible for me to get into that two weeks' experience. And so this one week was fine with me. Yeah. Well, not only did people come

[30:18]

for only one week. Some people only came for part of a week, or they came late, and things like that. Yeah, so... Yeah, I'm glad you could come for one week, too. Okay. Hildegard? This morning you talked about nearness. And I think what you said changed completely my relationship to or my thinking about not only thinking about relation and relationships with other people. And what I feel a little bit... What I regret a little bit about that?

[31:24]

That nearness can only be established or created or can come into being spontaneously. And that it's not a feeling which can be with duration. Permanent. I think that nearness can be, as I described it this morning, can be a practice. And as a practice, it opens us, I think you're right, to more spontaneity. And I think that if you develop this habit of bringing attention to

[33:04]

What's near. Or rather the experience of nearness. That can be pretty much a continuous experience. And that also as... René said or suggested that it can be a kind of pace of time. And then you talked also about these walls of glass. As I understood you, first you look whether they are here, these glass walls, and how thick they are.

[34:16]

But doesn't that prevent a spontaneous nearness when you are always doing that? No. None. A lot of practice is not spontaneous. It's intentional. If I bring my attention to my breath, it's not spontaneous. It's a decision I've made. at some point it may happen spontaneously. But you have to practice quite a while before it's spontaneous. Or it happens by itself. Yes. And glass walls, I mean, I don't know, people have various ways in which they experience a kind of separation between themselves and others.

[35:42]

I just used the example from my own practice. As long as I had that feeling, there wasn't too much spontaneity. And there was a certain amount of nearness, but often the wall was up and there wasn't. So I'm trying to speak about how you kind of clear the space. Clear the space in which things appear. Without too many visible or invisible suitcases.

[36:48]

So I think, you know, it seems like, as you say, some aspects of what I said caught you or moved you. And I'd make that feeling a point of cultivation. I would make that feeling. Or a point that you bring your attention to. And you can see, I think something will develop from that. Other aspects then of what I said or you this morning? Or entirely new aspects. Or what I would have said tomorrow if we had the lecture tomorrow. Might come up. Because a good practice is to see if you can give the next lecture that would follow from teacher's lecture.

[37:55]

So you go into the lecture and I know what he's going to say next. Then if it's the same, you can ask to give a third lecture. It's not the same, we can learn something. I would like to know how you noticed that you cannot do it without other people. How do you notice that?

[39:03]

I noticed it. To what? Well, first of all, I knew that I'm not a very good practitioner. And I knew it would be very difficult to do all by myself. So I've really actually consciously tried to create a life where I have to go to Zazen. Then I thought I could escape to Europe, but... Somebody recognized me at the airport and said, hey, would you do Zazen? I can't escape here either. So that's how I recognized it.

[40:11]

I knew I was not too good. But it was also clear to me at another level I'd studied Buddhism in college and intellectually for some time before I met Suzuki Roshi. But I didn't put it together. Until I met him. And he not only put it together, he transformed it. And then I discovered things I couldn't have felt except through another person. Okay. Yeah. I would be interested in karma.

[41:21]

That's the trouble. That is the problem. Excuse me. how can you deal with a person you cannot deal with so good and you do not appreciate their way of dealing their behavior and how you can deal with such a person Well, there's no general answer, of course. If that person is your employer, or if that person is your mother or father, it's pretty difficult. But it's surprising the change that does occur when you are able to make space for another person.

[42:41]

I don't like saying make space, but I can't find any other words for it. Where you completely leave them alone, completely accept them, and at the same time have expectations. And at the same time you have the patience to wait. And you in addition have the sense of ripening time. And then you wait for time to tell you the situation to tell you when to say something or do something. And the rest of the time you avoid them. That's kind of a joke.

[43:56]

We can't avoid them. But that's all you can do. It's not perfect. And if it's an employer, you can change your job. If it's a mother, it's more difficult. Yeah. Anyway, it's something one has to work with. And it's imperfect. But for somebody who's going to be a teacher, for instance, it's good to have them in situations with people they really don't like. or people who push all their buttons and see how they handle it. If they don't handle it well, they shouldn't be a teacher. Mostly we need to. This is something we all experience and we have to find ways to work with in our imperfect way.

[45:16]

Very often it's connected with emotions you have towards this person, like anger or annoyance. And how can you do that when there is this emotion, this feeling towards this person? I know. Ideally, you want to get yourself free of that anger. And that's the first choice. And it's a good chance to practice. Because you can do something about that. I know someone now who's been practicing a lot for 20-some years. And they have a job. And they were brought in by the... owner of the business.

[46:39]

And there are a lot Junior to the person who's the boss. And most of the other employees like this woman better than the boss. But the boss is afraid she's going to get her job. And resents her knowing the... And resents the fact that she's practiced long enough not to get angry. And she... resents the fact that she doesn't get angry. And she's trying to drive her out of the business. And every day, she has so much seniority, it would be very hard to fire her, the senior, the boss.

[47:41]

There's no easy solution. She's planning probably to leave her job. She could get involved with politics and the owner and try to sabotage, but then you feel lousy. So even when we do everything we can do within ourselves, there's still sometimes we can't do things. Sophie? First, I would like to say thank you for your talks this week, because I felt like you were eavesdropping on my thoughts.

[49:02]

I can hear you. Thank you for the talks today. Also, vielen Dank für diese Vorträge, diese heute und diese letzten Wochen. Because it felt like he was eavesdropping on my thoughts. Weil ich irgendwie das Gefühl habe, dass du meine eigenen Gedanken wiedergegeben hast. I'd like to thank everybody here to hear me. Yes. Even though I don't speak German and not everyone speaks English, I've gotten a really nice feeling from everybody. And My question... I've talked to some people here. And they're all here practicing Zazen, but they don't claim to be Buddhists.

[50:06]

They all practice Zazen, but they don't claim to be Buddhists. And I'm wondering how that works. And how the teachings and the practice go together, or if they have to go together. Can practice does end without believing in the teaching or... Well, I don't care what any place of Buddhists do not. I actually never think about it.

[51:16]

You're just here. You look wonderful to me. But I worry sometimes about if you practice and you have... deep beliefs in, say, Christianity, whether you can really bring practice together fully with Because some teachings actually challenge that. Just if you really think about the implications that there's no outside. Or basic things, everything is changing.

[52:26]

There are no entities. This challenges both our culture and beliefs. But you just don't listen to those parts. And, you know, I've met Catholic monks, for instance, who are really liturgical monks. I'd call them not believing monks. They like the practice, they like the feeling they have, etc., but they don't... they don't think about the belief system.

[53:30]

And also this is Western culture. So we have to see what happens. I think the biggest problem is shopping around. You said you had confidence in me. I do. My confidence in you is super, actually. But even small markets, you know... If you really practice the teachings and you're sincere in your practice you'll become whatever you become.

[55:09]

I'm watching. I understand. I also want to thank you all for these three weeks, because tomorrow morning at brunch time I will return to Northern Germany. I felt very comfortable in this sangha, for the first time in this sangha. It was wonderful. I had good conversations. And I was very happy to see these children, starting with Sophia and going up to Richie.

[56:20]

Wonderful points of color in this house. And I also want to thank you for this wonderful food. Now I have to cook by myself again and for myself. And I also want to thank you and especially want to thank you, Roshi, for your talks, which have been very enlightening for me. And this talk stabilized me and made me more vividly. Oh, thank you. I had a question which is somehow about what was already talked about. It's also about Sangha. There are so many people which are on the way.

[57:41]

Also the Sangha is taking, and what you talked about this morning, And I don't know who said it, but somebody said during a lecture, a seminar, if there is a Buddha in future, it will be a Buddha of the many. The word Sangha, I don't know if it has ever been translated, then I was in a deep sleep. But the word Sangha actually closes off. And it makes me a little... When I go home now, I don't have any Sangha. And I think of people who also practice and are also on the path.

[58:45]

Then they are actually all. And Sangha actually closes off a little bit. And I don't know whether the word sangha was never explained in its meaning, in literal meaning, and if maybe I slept, but... What makes me a little bit sorry or fills me with sorrow is that the word Sangha somehow excludes for me. For instance, if I go back to me at home where I'm alone, I have this feeling that everybody is somehow on the way. So if you have the word Sangha, it excludes these other people which are also on the way and are not part of that Sangha. Maybe it's only in its origin or in its literal meaning, in its etymology.

[59:51]

I don't know of Sangha. Well, that's such a big question. And it looks like the tea is running. So maybe we should have a break. And so let's come back at about five to five. And I will respond afterwards. Walking in the body shops. Who is leaving at half past five? So maybe he can... Who is leaving at... You are? Oh, you're leaving. You're in the... There. You're on the way out. I'm starting to exercise a little bit.

[60:52]

I see, I see. Escape hatch. So maybe he can... Yeah, no, no. Well, let's finish with... Start with you at first. Well, first of all, the word sangha doesn't, you know, I don't know exactly what its etymology is, but it really just means something like a group or a crowd. And it came to have a specific meaning, something like those who gather around a teacher. But it's a word like government or something. It has all kinds of meanings depending on the government of the historical period. And it depends on the historical period in which it is used. Yeah, but it... Sangha is a word that more than most not only excludes, but also includes.

[62:10]

It's a little bit like maybe musicians or something like that. I mean, musicians, I'm sure... I'm not a musician, you know, I... As I say, when I sing by the window, everyone helps me out. But my daughter is a singer. My father was a good pianist. Most of the talents in my family skipped me. But I'm persistent. But I think musicians have a feeling with each other that they don't have for non-musicians. But at the same time, they might feel the potentiality, the capacity for music and even me.

[63:28]

So in that sense, music would feel connected with everyone, but at the same time, there's different feeling for those who are also musicians. And the sense of capacity, the idea of Buddha nature fits in here. That everyone has this capacity for music or Buddha nature perhaps. And with that attitude, they're part of the Sangha. More traditionally, it's... Just monks.

[64:29]

But in Mahayana Buddhism we can understand it as a way of practicing with people. And as a way, as a sense of how you take, where you take refuge. I think it's better understood as a practice than as... The group of monks. And what I try to present as Sangha as a way of practice. And in a way I've never done before. Inspired by this Sangha at this moment. Or at least, yeah. Okay? Oh, no, let's... We'll go.

[65:33]

You're optimistic. You're not ready, okay. Yes? Always run that down. Mm-hm. Are you translating yourself? Okay. So always when I come back after Sushin, I return home, I feel such a gap. It's almost like a loss. And I don't know whether other people also feel like that. And maybe you have a hint for me. Is that maybe a sign for good practice or maybe bad practice?

[66:35]

Both. Badness. So how many people have some sort of similar feelings after a sashim or have had in the past? You're not alone. I certainly have. So it's a sign that practice works. But it's also a sign that your practice isn't developed enough yet that the difference between daily life and Sangha is not pronounced. The daily life and Sashin. The difference between daily life and Sashin is still pronounced. Yes, so please continue.

[67:37]

I'm leaving and ... You go? You go, I go. Victor, thank you. Here I found a very good Feng Shui. I would like to thank you because I have found a very good Feng Shui here. And as you know, Feng Shui And that you know there is no Feng Shui if there are no good people. And that there are no good people if the Feng Shui is also not good. I came here to find a serious retreat.

[68:43]

And I think that I'm leaving with a sense of loss that you have each time that you feel energy. For me, these 15 days or even 14, something like this, seem in reality a very long period. And already this feeling is very good because for the reason of my life I have a very short period in reality. Maybe because that day was tough, so that I prolonged the... But really I have a feeling that I've been here for a very long time.

[70:01]

Also for me it would be very difficult to be here again for 15 days, but I will come back again. So thank you very much. I thank everybody. Unfortunately, I didn't meet everybody, but quite a lot. That has been very nice. You're welcome. I hope you do come back. I look forward to seeing you again. Okay.

[71:18]

You're going with him? Oh, okay. They're all, do you know about this? She's playing all the way. Yeah. It's one week. Yeah. You go and she goes. All right. So what is your first question? Yesterday and today and the day before you, in your lecture you talked about the world and talked about and you talked about practice and us and you mentioned and this picture is very warming picture and very healthy looking picture a good concept when you say

[72:26]

to change into a person you like to see in the world. There was one question who came up with the word, in my practice, is self-criticism. Does it basically help to see compassion? and to have compassion.

[73:34]

Self-criticism is the most visible image that one can give oneself to practice compassion or help. or can you give us in that case can you give us a very strong advice to the sentence you give us and everybody has i mean i have a very great feeling for this sentence i can say um One way of talking about this as a practice is, as I've spoken about in the past, is the idea of maximal greatness. You have the vision, say, of practicing the paramitas.

[74:55]

And you have the intention to practice it. And you make the effort. And you notice that, yes, you're you're a little better at it than you used to be. You can be present to the Paramitas a little more often than you used to be. But you also know you could be more present. So there's a sense of your limitations and failure. With also the sense that you have accomplished something. And that you could accomplish more. And that creates a kind of realistic anti-inflation, anti-psychological inflation.

[76:03]

Inflation is a psychological term. Anti-inflation in the sense of not economic, but psychological. Anti-inflation, not in the financial, but in the psychological sense. Sorry, I made that. Self-criticism itself depends what you mean by that. Some people think entirely too much about themselves and about self-improvement and so forth. But a sense of shame is important. So you notice you didn't do something so well or you were rather inconsiderate? And yet in your heart, because of this vision, you will try to do it a little better next time.

[77:15]

And the sense of shame is not guilt. Guilt sticks to you. Shame just is in a situation and your decision to Not do that again, kind of frees you from the shame. So in one sense we are self-critical. But I would describe it more, we're aware of our limitations and failure. At the same time as we try to fulfill this practice, this Bodhisattva practice. As you're doing. Okay?

[78:33]

Okay. And come... I hope you both come back. Have a safe... You're going by train? Yeah, okay. Have a good trip. OK, . In this field of nearness which you described today, this morning, and even in feeling this nearness, for me there is a point

[79:42]

where I cannot signify it as near or far. I could also name the near as the far. This is a point that feels to me as if the exit would be lost. Do you mean the starting point? Yes, the starting point, in the sense of going out? Yes. Okay. For me it's a feeling as if the exit would be lost, The exit would be lost. It feels... What would be lost?

[81:06]

I can't find the exit door anymore. From what? From Johanneshof? From this, well... From nearness. Yeah. Do you want an exit door? Yeah, actually it feels... No, actually when I'm in I want to stay in, but it feels like I can't really function. German, please. No, when I think about it, it's not that I want to get out of this area, but I don't know if I can really function in it, because it feels like everything

[82:20]

I have somehow the feeling that everything is crumbling into meaninglessness. I don't know. Maybe I can't make that. Well, I like it when the meaning disappears. But sometimes temporarily I have to give meaning to things in order to accomplish something. And that I mean with to lose the exit or to go back to this functioning in meaningfulness. Make a couple of phone calls and you are back in. Yes, that's true.

[83:49]

There's also a longing to this point and to stay in this point. And maybe that's the question. There's also on the same level there's a feeling of danger. German, please. Yes, he says you come out very quickly by making a few telephones. That's right. There is a certain longing to stay there, but at the same time it is so ... dangerous in the sense that you no longer know how to function. Well, I would say that practically speaking The feeling you're describing in traditional practice leads a person to spend several years in a monastic practice.

[84:57]

I wouldn't go that far. It might feel like that, but there's Now, we would really be talking about a different kind of practice then, because practicing in a hermit is quite different than practicing in a sangha. But in any case, that feeling, can be satisfied, or is often satisfied, by practicing in a place like Crestone for some years. When I was head of the Tassajara, It was quite common for people to stay three, four, five years continuously without even leaving for a week.

[86:48]

But that's not really possible at Creston, or it's hard to do at Creston. So I'm saying this not because I think you should do that, but I'm saying that it is a real part of committed practice. That desire. And if we don't have an opportunity to fulfill it, we have to still trust that desire. I think. And fulfill it in your ordinary circumstances. And I don't know quite what you mean, we don't have time to go into so much detail, but philosophically you can't say near or far.

[88:03]

But... In practice, practically, I can't call that farness. That's nearness. And the... I didn't go much into this practice of nearness today. But it really is a practice that opens the heart. And you feel this nearness brings you so that the phenomenal world and you yourself are the phenomenal world and you're experience, are not divided dualistic or subject and object.

[89:14]

That makes a kind of hidden sense of life appear. And if our heart opens in that way, then our practice is really also discovering that feeling you're speaking about with other people. But sometimes we need to emphasize a more regular and monastic-like practice and sometimes a more involved, engaged practice. And while a very big step in practice is when you just find yourself naturally giving up your own practice to help others practice.

[90:21]

At the same time, you can't forget about your own practice entirely. So some kind of different emphasis at different times in one's life. Okay, yes. The answer you have given is somehow referring to the question I want to ask you. These two weeks I dealt with this separation from others and also this example you brought up this morning of this glass wall. And what you said this morning that the tension and

[91:54]

dealing with this wall and how it looks like and what is the thickness of this wall and so on that the result of this practice was for you that this wall dissolved and disappeared and on the one hand that sounds very easy and also that it takes quite a long quite a time And I wonder if it is also necessary to explore this barrier even more or to find out the causes. Somehow I can't quite believe that this is the way. It sounds so easy to me. And on the other hand, I ask myself whether that doesn't sound too easy, because whether it's not also necessary to explore the reasons for this separation.

[93:20]

Yeah. I guess maybe Christina translated strongly present and weakly present as thickness. Because I didn't say thickness this morning, but thickness is okay. That's an important point. Somebody else mentioned thickness, too, and I was wondering where it came from. Okay, first, while I, and this example was from my own practice, as I said, once I noticed it, And began to sort of...

[94:35]

be aware of it, it didn't feel easy at all. Because I thought it would never go away. I was very surprised when it did. So it wasn't in the category of easy. But you did point out a difference in... Buddhism, say, from psychology. Yeah, let's see if I can respond rather briefly to this. Because we haven't even got halfway in the room yet. Buddhism tends to deal relate to how something appears in the immediate situation.

[95:41]

And not why it's there. I mean, there's the famous story of the person shot by an arrow. Don't look, figure out who shot it, you just pull it out. But, you know, since I've grown up in a psychologized culture,

[96:14]

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