in mountains when you bring forest mind to the forest so forest mind meets the forest so when you see when you meet mountains from the mind of the mountains while in the mountains is that possible to translate you don't have to yeah The mountain's head and eye are viewed differently. This means, as I said, when you bring forest mind to the forest, the forest starts to teach you. And that's, Dogen calls, the head and eye of the forest, or the head and eye of the mountain.

[01:02]

And when you really meet zazen mind in zazen, the eye and mind of the Buddha begins to teach you. Again there's this story I like from Dung Shan's life. How do I hear the teaching of insentient beings? And in this story, which stayed with Dogen through much of his practice life, the teacher answers, although you do not hear it, do not hinder that which hears it.

[02:04]

When you take one view, you see the forest flowing. When you take one view, you see the cows flowing. When you take another view, the mountains, the cows, the forests are not flowing. If you do not fully understand this, you do not understand the true Dharma wheel of the Tathagata. Is that a little clearer? No? Anyway, the idea here in Dogen is that Dharma means to see the flowing of the world.

[03:30]

Or to see the world with, see the forest with forest mind. I feel I've given you something maybe that feels a little heavy, but we have to... It's not so heavy if you just allow yourself to know that you understand it.

[05:10]

You know, in Dogen, so you asked me to speak about this seminar, and in fact has asked me to speak about Sukhya Rishi. And Dogen lived in the 13th century in Japan. And before that in Japan, the Buddhism was very ornate and complex and philosophical. And Dogen's contemporaries were Shinran and Nichiren. And they both tried to simplify Buddhism into a repetitious chanting.

[06:13]

Because they said ordinary people can't understand Buddhism, so let's just have them chant Namuho Renge Kyo or Namu Mirabutsu. And now the common way in Taiwan and China to greet people, especially in China as you go farther south. Northern China is more political and communist and southern China is more relaxed. But the common way to greet you is Amitapho, Amitapho.

[07:39]

Like Kruzgat in Bavaria and Austria. And Amitapho just means the name of Amida Buddha. It's a short way of saying Namu Amida Butsu, Namu Amida Butsu, Amitapho Amita. It's a short way of saying Namu Amida Butsu, Namu Amida Butsu, Amitapho Amita. But Dogen felt that he would not simplify Buddhism for people. But he wanted to get away from the ornate and philosophical Buddhism, so he tried to make Buddhism not simple but direct. The Theravādana early Buddhism in the Āyana is often called the half word and Mahāyāna is called the whole word. And the school in Buddhism, the Theravada school, also called Hinayana, is sometimes called the half word.

[08:58]

And the Mahayana school, Mahayana the whole world? The whole world. Word or world? Word, word. And Mahayana the whole word? With the idea that Buddha taught the half teaching for people who couldn't understand in the early part of his life, in the latter part of his life he taught the full teaching. Now, this is partly, large part, just Buddhist politics. But it does reflect an actual tension within Buddhism between making a religion for everyone and making it a true inner science through which you discover yourself and the world.

[10:04]

And like Dogen, Sukhirishi refused to simplify Buddhism. And that's one of the reasons he came to America, actually, because Buddhism was so cultural in Japan, you couldn't get it into a fresh language. And his... And as some of you know, he gave a lecture in Kyoto at my house in the sixties, in my house in Kyoto.

[11:10]

And the first was for Japanese people I got together. And the second was for Western people I got together the next day. So the first lecture was in Japanese and the second was in English. And some Japanese people though came to both. And they said to me afterwards, ah, that first lecture you gave was the same old boring Buddhism. And the second lecture really spoke to me. It was so fresh, etc. But it was just the same lecture, just in English. So as Tanahashi Sensei says, there's some advantage to having Christianity or a different religion than you brought up with in Japan or in your own country because you hear things in a fresh way.

[12:20]

So some Japanese and Chinese have to study Christianity to hear Buddhism. And some Westerners have to study Buddhism to hear Christianity. So Sukershi came here to see if Westerners could hear Buddhism. And hear it not so you understand it so much as hear it so that you have faith enough to practice it. And let it work in you. So I think this is considered one of Dogen's more obscure statements.

[13:57]

But I think if you can really open yourself to the sense of bringing forest mind to the forest, And if bringing the mind you discover in Zazen to the whole of your life, this will become quite clear. You just have to stay with it. Now, I've got so many things in front of me, I can't get out of here. You see my desk always. It's half clothes and half old things. So I put this up. I have the treasury of the true Dharma eye.

[15:16]

This is what the Buddha said to Shakyamuni Buddha, said to Mahakashapa. When he smiled after he held up the flower. I have the treasury of the true Dharma eye. the inconceivable mind of Nirvana. I now entrust this to you. So what we're doing in this statement of Dogen's and so forth is just trying to study this simple statement of a few words. And the Udambara flower is a mythological flower And it's said to bloom only every 3,000 years. Or whenever a Tathagata appears. And a Tathagata is a name for Buddha, but it also means one who has realized thusness.

[16:20]

And one who realizes thusness means one who resides in that inner chamber or that mind which sees the flowing of forests and mountains and cows. So if I hold up these flowers, these roses, and you see the flowing of mountains and forests and our vast being, Then the Tathagata has appeared. And we don't have to wait 3,000 years. Even the Roman villa wasn't that old. So I think it's about time for us to take a break, isn't it? Is that right?

[17:51]

Yes. I don't know what the schedule is. Seems about right. I made a schedule and I don't know how to, for the first time in my life. Break from 4.30 to 5, so you're pretty good. And after break, which would be about end at 10 after 5, I asked Ulrike if she would say something. To give me a break before we wrap her. And I want to speak a little about practicing with Suzuki Roshi, but we'll do that later. Okay. Thank you very much.

[18:57]

I like to hear this heating or whatever it is, like a pump, as if you were hearing your own heartbeat. Yes, mine is pretty bad at the moment. Roshi has been asking me to say something more and more lately. Some of them think it's time to go back to my old job. Sometimes I think Maybe he just wants my voice to continue to sound, which you are very familiar with, and that I simply continue to translate, even if he is no longer sitting next to me. And I think if we listen to him, each of us actually translates what we hear.

[20:02]

What you hear is actually only my voice, it is a version of the many translations that all take place here in the room at the same time. And if you hear my voice now, I would just like to ask you to hear it as if you were listening to the voice of your own vision. And I think the picture that Roshi brought this morning is very beautiful in the freedom that lies in it when we have no choice. Just imagine you are all sitting in a car, we are together on a trip and Roshi has now set up some kind of transmitter and for some reason we are now on the wavelength of my voice And it's actually not so important what I say, but if you hear any voice on the radio, it's sometimes easier to concentrate on the journey.

[21:12]

And here we are on this journey together here on this weekend. And this weekend is about Suzuki Roshi's dream and our dream, and Suzuki Roshi's vision, and our vision. And since Roshi Becker asks me from time to time, or asks me to speak about something, I started to write another kind of diary, since I was twelve. I like to write about Dina from my life and some time ago it became clear to me that I can no longer lead this kind of diary, because the story of my life with the different events and excitements and joys and sadness, that doesn't interest me so much anymore.

[22:19]

But what I'm more and more interested in are these little gifts that we find on the way, on the way to our practice. And then I thought, yes, when I experience something like that, then I just note it down. And so I started, I think, to lead a Dharma diary, so I would like to call it. And I really like to have that with me, to hit something nice. And so three or four days ago I was sitting in Schriesheim on the balcony. Beka Roshi was on his new bike. And I felt this seminar as it comes. And with the title Suzuki Roshi's Dream and his vision, I started to think about my life. And what was my dream, my vision?

[23:25]

And I just noticed something that I saw in the Roman villa yesterday morning. There were once these basements of this old gentleman's house and at the same time there were some showcases where finds were exhibited that were found in these ruins. And one showcase that fascinated me particularly. There were pieces of bricks that had been thrown away when the house was built. For some reason, they are particularly well preserved. And they were thrown away because there were prints of animals on these bricks that had been thrown over before the bricks were burned.

[24:29]

And it was very moving for me to see again an impression of a almost 2,000 year old dog or a cat. And wavy little paws of a weasel and a wild boar and squirrels. And this collection was all there and a sandal and a child's foot. And I think that's how it is in our lives. impressions, impressions where our vision of life, our design of life, where it touches us, where it strides us and we almost throw it on the waste and we are not even aware of it. And practice is a kind of to find these impressions again, to dig them out again. Because I think not only we are looking for the vision of our life, the vision of our life is also looking for us.

[25:38]

And when I was sitting there on the balcony in Schriesheim, more a time in my life that was very important to me and also very exciting. That was my time at the Max Planck Institute, when I was working on my doctoral thesis. And that was really a time Full of strength, a lot of enthusiasm and a feeling of how much is actually possible through research and how much research could help to create a better world. And then I started to collect my data at the age of 24. And that was also a time when my father died. A few days ago, I just pulled my old, tarnished Docter work out of the shelf again.

[26:47]

I had saved an exemplar over the years. And I was completely amazed at what I had started this work with. I wrote a quote into it, and I would like to read it to you. First in English, that's how it's written in my work, so Bekar can understand it. The harmonious cooperation of all beings arose not from the orders of a superior authority external to themselves, but from the fact that they were all parts in a hierarchy of wholes, forming a cosmic pattern. And what they obeyed were the internal dictates of their own natures. This is Zhuanzhu aus dem dritten Jahrhundert.

[27:50]

The harmonious relationship of all beings does not arise from the order of a higher power that comes from outside, but from the fact that they are all parts in a hierarchy of wholesomeness that together form a cosmic pattern. What they follow are therefore the dictates of their own natures. What really interested me as a natural scientist at that time was the nature of the individual parts, how they belong together, how they form a whole, how the laws are. And the last sentence of this quote, I think, didn't interest me at all at that time. And when I read the quote again after all these years, I could really feel this state of mind that made me choose this quote.

[28:55]

And I felt very, very clearly how the last sentence completely passed me by. And there I discovered such a footprint in my life, that although at that time I didn't know anything about a spiritual life at all, so I didn't know anything consciously, I chose something that actually had a mission. not only to find out how the individual parts fit together as far as I can as a natural scientist, but also to work on what is the dictation of my inner nature. And there I immediately have to think of Suzuki Roshi. and the great luck that I had to meet him through Beka Roshi and all the people who have practiced with him.

[29:58]

Because I think Suzuki Roshi is a person who has really heard his inner voice, who has realized the deed of his inner nature, and this realization is passed on to us through Beka Roshi as a role model, as encouragement and at the same time as the practice. And so I would like to ask you to really look for this little imprint in you, that show a life plan that starts very early in your childhood dreams, in your yearnings as a teenager, in which career choice you have made, how your life has developed.

[31:05]

I myself am now standing on a path of separation, how my life goes on, and I think there are two possibilities, one is that I really continue to choose this life in practice and deepen it, and thus also carry on Suzuki Roshi's dream, continue to dream and that means for me ultimately also ordination. But since I actually don't really know what that is and

[32:16]

I always feel a longing inside me, but rather a longing for the archetype nun or monk. I think I want to wait and find out what life as a monk and nun means to me. Was erwartet dieses Leben von mir? Was will dieses Leben von mir? Ist es möglich, dieses Leben als Mönch und Nonne heutzutage auch in einem Laienleben zu führen? Mit Kindern, mit Familie, mit Beruf? Und ich weiß, dass das in erster Linie ein innerer Prozess ist. And that is why I have put up with patience. I want to wait, I want to look, listen, feel how this process continues to unfold in me.

[33:26]

And I think only then you can take a look at something like another ordination in an external sense. But the last time in the practice was particularly important for me, because a lot of what Beka Roshi is talking about, that we have to have confidence in the practice, that really came to me. And this is not something you can imagine, you can hear it, but ultimately this trust is like a gift, almost like a grace. But if you feel it, the trust in practice, then the practice deepens and really sinks into one.

[34:27]

As Suzuki Roshi said, practice is to go through the fog and suddenly you realize that you are wet. And so there are always points of reference in our life, what our vision is, how our vision, our life plan speaks to us, and sometimes they are also dreams. And I think it is very important not to overlook these signs and to give them shape. A very funny discovery for me was to find out recently that the word spiritual contains the word ritual. With this we actually give these processes an external force. And I had a dream six or seven years when I was really asked for the first time to change my life and then I did it, which caused me a lot of confusion and fear and I felt very homeless and I first really experienced the whole thing as a great loss and also almost a personal step back, almost a regression.

[35:45]

And at that time I had a dream, and the first half of this dream was that I was really lost in the world, homeless, lost all my friends, almost cheated, rejected by my friends, also rejected by my family, Yes, great hopes also set in me. And this feeling of being exposed and being excluded could not have been greater in real life in this dream. And I cried a lot in this dream. And I then tried in the dream to return to the place again, to my apartment, which I still have today in Schriesheim.

[36:58]

I just wanted to see it from the outside and see who lives in this apartment and how the people live in it. And I did it in the evening because I was afraid that some neighbors from earlier could recognize me, how I was getting close to my old apartment. And the big surprise was the turn that this dream took. I bowed down to Siegfriedstrasse and suddenly smelled of incense sticks. And it was somehow so strange, such petals of flowers scattered on the street. I came closer and closer, my astonishment grew bigger and bigger, because there was someone with bells in the apartment. And I thought, that can't be true, that can't be true, and the front door was wide open.

[37:59]

And I entered the apartment, and in my absence the apartment had turned into a broadcast. And it was an infinite feeling of coming home, of a feeling that we also have to accept homelessness, in order to finally return home and realize that all the time in our absence, our sendo, our most holy place, is actually home. And then I created an area in the entrance hall of my apartment where I really made an altar. And every time I leave the apartment, even if it is only very short, I bend over. And when I come back from a longer journey, I open the door and there is the small Buddha statue and everything that has accumulated over time.

[39:09]

And then I put on a cigarette stick and then I'm at home. Yes, the other alternative to becoming a nun now is that I really look at my old profession again. And I made this decision. I will do that in two months. And I'm really curious. how it will be for me. After my scientific activity, I took a position in a school. I gave up this position six years ago. And I'm just curious how it will be when I enter this life again.

[40:11]

Man wird sehen. Ich habe auch ein bisschen Angst davor, bin auch jetzt traurig. Ich spüre, dass es jetzt das letzte Seminar, das ich so mitmachen kann, auch in diesem Gefühl von Freiheit einfach da sein, mit Roshi reisen. Aber ich bin neugierig. Man wird sehen. Irgendetwas wird passieren, das richtig ist, das weiß ich. And I hope you all accompany me in this effort. Some of you asked me if I could tell you something about Israel and why I went to Israel. And I think that fits quite well with the topic of vision.

[41:19]

Because that was actually my wish, even since I was 16 years old and my step-aunt actually wanted to take me to Israel. And at that time something came in between. And it was always a dream that I had, and because of my interest in Asia and also in Buddhism, it is quite different. But in the last few years I always had the feeling that I wanted to return to the roots of my religion, in which I grew up, and also to the place where, especially we as Germans, have sowed such a karma, or to this people. And somehow it didn't fit and suddenly last summer there was a possibility, Baker Roshi and I were in the abode. That is the name of this Sufi community in the north of New York, which was founded by Piri Vilayat.

[42:29]

And Baker Roshi is very friendly with Atum Oken, with whom he will now go to the camp in the summer. and they had a program together there, a course, and I was there and then heard that Atum said, yes, he would take some of his students on a pilgrimage trip to Israel in April this year. And I immediately felt that I would like to go with them. Atum then also said, wonderful, I could imagine it very well if you were with us as a Buddhist. And so we now met one week before Easter with 40 Sufis in Jerusalem and were actually in Jerusalem the whole time. For all of us, it really became a pilgrimage journey, an external and an internal pilgrimage journey.

[43:38]

And so many impressions stormed into me. So it's impossible to travel around them all and just give you a really comprehensive feeling of what it's like when you really go to Israel or to Jerusalem. I don't know who of you has been there. but it is difficult to put into words. It is a place in the world, in the desert, where exactly that takes place, where different layers of consciousness are present, and where one can easily move from a present time into an archetypal or into an undivided time. And this does not only take place on the temporal level, but also on the spatial one. It is a tiny place where thousands of history, world history and religious history took place.

[44:48]

Various peoples and ethnic groups live together in the narrowest space. And it is almost like a brainwash when you go through it. Also my inner experience was not the same. I suffered, I dreamed, I was afraid, I felt the vitality there. But one experience was very outstanding for me and I would like to tell you about it. And that was the path to the wall of complaints. The Wailing Wall. This is the greatest sanctuary of the Jews, from which they were cut off until the Six-Day War, I think.

[45:51]

They couldn't get there. The wall is located in East Jerusalem and is basically a remnant of the old temple built by King Solomon. And this is now the one wall of the rock dome of the holiest place of Islam. You have to imagine that. And On the way there, Atum told us a very beautiful story. He said, in Islam, in Christianity and in Judaism, there are some... Excuse me, I got tangled up. In Christianity and Buddhism, and also in Islam, there is a role model that we all follow, a perfect human being.

[47:00]

This is Buddha, this is Jesus, the Son of God, and this is Mohammed. This does not exist in Judaism. In Judaism, in the Old Testament, there are the stories of the prophets. And the prophets are portrayed as people like you and me. With all their imperfections, with all their efforts, with their torments, with their suffering. And it's just the stories of normal, imperfect people that are shown. And he told us such a story on the way to the prison wall. When someone had a problem at that time, a great grief, there were two possibilities. He could either go to Moses and Moses answered with the law. We could say with the Dharma.

[48:03]

And he also had the possibility... turn my own tapes. I should be translating for you, I'm sorry. Die Klagemauer ist solch ein Ritual. Wenn jemand einen ganz großen Kummer hat, dann geht er zu dieser Wand des Tempels und bringt diesen Kummer the wall. And if someone is very lucky, he goes to this wall and shares this feeling with this, I don't know what to say, it's actually not a wall. It is exactly what Dogen means when he speaks of the mountains and to feel how the mountains flow. And I can only describe to you what kind of transformation happens to you when you go to this wall of complaints for the first time.

[49:16]

You have to go through a very sophisticated security system of the Israelis, where you are investigated whether you have any weapons with you, and it is quite amazing, it is as if you were leaving the social mind behind. In this social mind, in which wars take place, in which the peoples are unequal, in which they fight with each other, in which they debate which religion is the right one. It is this horror that one feels that people are able to argue about which religion is the true one. And these weapons are literally left behind when you have these security controls behind you. And then this wide space opens up and at the end of this space is this wall. And you don't just go to this wall, but you also feel how this wall comes to you. And it's such a wonderful thing. And the closer you get to the wall, the more you feel the people next to you.

[50:24]

And men and women are separated and I actually experienced that as something very beautiful. The women are actually a lot more women who go there and they actually have a very small corner. but it is very full and there are many women and there are young women and beautiful women and old women and middle-aged women and fat and thin and all move towards this wall and feel how the wall comes and I can't describe it differently I let myself go in there and suddenly stood in front of this wall. I smelled her, I saw the little cracks, I heard the birds and I suddenly heard the crying of this old woman next to me.

[51:29]

And I looked at her and this woman touched me so much because I could see her whole life story at that moment. She had a small plastic bag in her hand and the other a prayer book and she leaned against the wall on the mountain and all the grief of her life flowed out of her. Probably how she lost her family in the Holocaust, how her sons were shot in some fights with the Palestinians, how she lost everything, how she is not at home in Israel either. how there is no home for her, how poor she is. But this moment of being on the wall, this feeling and this intimacy with this woman was so strong that I could let go and I stood there and cried and at the same time felt a great joy. It's hard to describe. And the point is that you take a small piece of paper and write down the greatest wish you have in your life on this piece of paper.

[52:58]

And that you then try to put this piece of paper into the wall, into a crack. And that means that if you succeed, that you then put your wish directly into the heart of God. And you can imagine how many tiny little pieces of paper are there. And how difficult it is to find a place, without, of course, insisting that the others fall out. But I still have a place for you. Yes, and that also reminds me of Suzuki Roshi, and as he has always spoken of it, 4, your inner deepest request. Feel your deepest inner longing. And I want to tell you what I wrote on it.

[54:10]

On the note. You can imagine how many notes I wrote that I threw away again. And in the end, there was only one wish left. I had to think of Gisela's Shuso ceremony. Gisela is a nun who has been practicing in Creston for a long time and who has now gone through part of her training. She is my head monk. So you are responsible for the smooth course of the practice period and hold lectures and also receive teaching orders. And at the end of this practice period is a ceremony where the shusso or the shusso sits in the front and has to answer questions from everyone. And Rosio, who I already mentioned yesterday, was the first in line.

[55:15]

And she asked Gisela, What is your deepest desire? And Gisela, without frowning again, just said, Buddha nature, Buddha nature. And what else is left for me than to write on the letter Buddha Nature? And I believe that it is possible to reach it. If we can feel how the mountains flow, how the forest flows, And if we can feel how we are not only addressing life, but life is addressing us, then we are realizing our true nature.

[56:23]

And then all questions that are natural are gone. Thank you for listening to me. I don't know what you said, but thank you. You need a translator. I do. Shall we sit for a few minutes? Yes. forest mind. Our own forest mind beyond Buddha. And open our own true Dharma eyes. and realize the inconceivable mind of nirvana.

[57:47]

This is not impossible. This is closer than you think. Closer than your thinking. The most intimate thing of all. And this is probably the most intimate of all things. So nice to be here in such nice summer weather.

[61:03]

It's like two years in a row now we come to this seminar house in Munster to experience German summer. I grew up in the Midwest of the United States in Indiana and all summer long is pretty much like this for about four months. It's sunny most of the time and though occasionally you have huge continental thunderstorms. But the pond and the smell of the grass and the animals.

[62:11]

It was a sort of farming area I grew up in. All very familiar. I only want to talk for a few minutes or not very long anyway. And then I'd like you to break up into groups of maybe, I don't know, five groups of ten or something like that. And in this room, in the next room, if it's okay, the next room, I think, or outside. And don't try to join only the nicest people, just more or less whoever near you. And remember, everyone's a version of you, if even a difficult version of you.

[63:35]

One way to look at Zen practice is the effort to realize continuity of mind. So it's a little different way of looking at it than trying to see through your distracted thoughts and so forth. Or it's the same because you're trying to see through the distracted thoughts to a continuity of mind. When you practice mindfulness and You know, classic example of noticing you get angry and more angry and less angry or whatever the emotion.

[64:55]

You're allowing, not interfering with the anger, but just noticing it is also to notice a continuity of mind independent of the anger. And when you practice mindfulness, and you all know the classic example, that you observe that you become angry, and then you become even more angry and even more angry. And yes, if you manage to perceive this and observe it, and now don't try to be less angry or to get involved in the anger, but simply observe despite everything, then this is also an implementation of the continuity of mind. Did I really say all that? It seemed like a lot. And when we do walking meditation, you're walking, if you catch the feeling, you're walking into a continuity of mind. And suddenly the phenomenal world begins to absorb your mind rather than your thinking about something in the future or yesterday or something.

[66:05]

Mind of the sage is neither grasped by the future or grasped by the past. So allowing the phenomenal world to carry your mind is also one way to discover continuity of mind. To touch Zazen mind or forest mind is also to begin the discovery of continuity of mind. So there's many ways in which continuity of mind can appear to you.

[67:22]

And through mindfulness practice, part of mindfulness practice is to notice when that continuity is interrupted and when it's continuous. And continuity of mind is also a way of speaking about dharma. Because dharma means what carries or what holds. So it's in contrast to everything changing. Karma is the causal consequence of everything changing. Dharma is to discover in your own experience something that carries and holds.

[68:36]

Something that in some sense even though impermanent doesn't change. So continuity of mind is one of the faces of emptiness. So one form that continuity of mind takes is the mind of your teacher. So practicing with these six weeks or so with Thich Nhat Hanh, I just joined the group. I never spent any particular time by choice with Thay. But I felt a continuous presence of continuity of mind with him.

[69:39]

And knowing that, feeling that I also maintained, it helps to have the cooperation of others too, a continuity of mind with the others of us on the group. And it gives me joy to feel the continuity of mind with you. And, you know, my first experience of this was with Suzuki Roshi. Mm-hmm. You know, when I met him, I actually was with a friend, a painter, and we were on the way to a samurai movie.

[71:14]

many of you've heard the story, but I was in this bookstore, George Field's bookstore, and this painter friend of mine, I told him something about this samurai movie. They were actually all the same, but I was telling him something about it. I had the habit of going a couple times a week to a samurai movie just to... If they were B grade or C grade, it was better. It was, you know, I worked in a warehouse and the cheapest place to eat in those days in San Francisco was in these little tiny Japanese restaurants. So many evenings in addition to eating in a restaurant, I'd go to a movie with a friend.

[72:27]

So I met this friend who's a painter from the East Coast. And I was telling him about this Sarah movie, and of course, you know, they're all the same, so I'm raising my sword, and I started to shout in this bookstore. Oh, my God. And I weighed at least 50 pounds less than I do now, so I wasn't much bigger than a sword. And this must have been Manjushri's sword of wisdom because as I lifted it up, George said to me, like this over his head and my friend's head, George said to me, you should meet Suzuki Roshi.

[73:46]

I bought all my esoteric books from George, so I tended to listen to him. So I put my sword back and I said, Who dat? And he told me he was a Zen master and so forth. I didn't realize all my attachments had just been cut. The sword of Manjushri is called the sword which cuts attachments. Actually, it was pretty dull at this time because it took years to cut through. What does this word, stumpf, mean? Dull. Dull, oh yeah. It sounded like a description of mace. Trampel.

[75:21]

Trampel, yeah. Anyway, so I said, okay, I said to my friend... I've explained it to him before. So I said to my friend, okay, let's go. So we went to the lecture. And I said to my friend, let's go to the lecture. And I'd been to lectures of Paul Tillich and a lot of people and there was always a difference between what their mouth was saying and what their body was telling me. I mean everything he, it was clear that his body and mind and speaking were all one piece. So I found my mind coming back to him. So some days later I was reading a book of deep walking back from this little eatery on the canal full of sewage.

[76:25]

Really. that I used to have lunch at near my warehouse. So it was a beautiful little restaurant serving sandwiches but you had to hold your nose while you ate. I'm not kidding because some contractor had cheated the city where he was supposed to build a sewer and he said he just ran it right into this little canal. So I used to, for some reason, have lunch there.

[77:27]

I was walking back, reading D.T. Suzuki as I walked, you know. I think that was the only time I walked slow in those days when I had a book. And I closed the book and I thought for a while about Sukhiroshi's lecture and then I thought, well, I should probably start meditation and start practicing with Sukhiroshi. Then I thought, but I'm not good enough to practice meditation or practice with Suzuki Roshi.

[78:39]

So I thought I'd go back to reading. So I opened the book again and it said, it's a form of vanity to think you're not good enough. So I closed the book. Oh, shit. Got me. Shit. Shit. So the next morning, you know, I went off to meditation. In a way, at that moment I entered a kind of tunnel. Tunnel is not the right word, but I just...

[79:39]

tried to discover Suzuki Roshi's mind and I started the process of discovering, concentrating and practicing and seeing if I could discover continuity of mind. And for quite, I could say even many years, From that point on I didn't read any newspapers or magazines or go to movies. I just tried to realize continuity of mind. Every morning at any time during the day, but in the morning I particularly remind myself, looking at my mind as how it was different, how it was similar to Sakyus.

[81:00]

And this tunnel got wider and wider and brighter and pretty soon I could no longer see the sides of the tunnel. So I should say, you know, I have the treasury of the true Dharma eye. So what is Dharma? What is Dharma? There are five aspects to Dharma. Maybe the easiest thing is for me to write them so you can give it some thought.

[82:04]

You can't see without some light, can you? Maybe a little light would be good. The key idea for Dharma is, I think people can see now, is refuge. Dharma is what you take refuge in. You know, we take refuge in Buddha, Dharma, and Saga, and now we're talking about taking refuge in Dharma. So the first aspect of Dharma is teaching. So why do you take refuge in the teaching? Because it's the truth.

[83:22]

If it's not the truth, there's no reason to take refuge in it. So practice is to discover if the teaching is the truth, at least the truth for you. And this is what you should do if you're practicing. Test what I'm saying, test what you read, test the Buddhist teachings, sutras, and see if it's the truth and the truth for you. Now, that doesn't mean you just measure it by your own standards. You've also got to look at it and have some patience with finding out if it's true or not.

[84:27]

Now, what came before the Buddha? What came before the sutras? Just as I said in this tree-minded piece, this situation, this everyday situation, Before sutras were written, before the Buddha existed, something like this existed. So this situation is what produces sutras and Buddhas. So the second aspect of Dharma is the entire presentation of the world.

[85:51]

We could also say, call it all at onceness. Because we have no past or future here. Past and future are simultaneous or folded into this present in its all-at-onceness. So that's another meaning of Dharma, the all-at-onceness of this. The third aspect is phenomenal elements. Particulars. So another meaning of dharmas and one of the earliest meanings of dharmas is that all of this is made up of small units.

[87:19]

Or self-organizing aspects. Now this is a transitory thing which is not a Dharma. It will perish. It's impermanent. So with the bell. But when you bring the two together What you just heard is neither the bell nor the stick. And it involves you and the stick and the bell and me.

[88:22]

And it's a unit that has a karmic existence. It has karmic consequences and also we call it a dharma. So a unit of the phenomenal world is also called a Dharma. Now the fourth is mental events. And these two are really not so different. It's just a different way of looking at things.

[89:25]

Because when we heard that, that is a perceptual moment, a perceptual mental event. That's also called a dharma. So the smallest unit of a mental event, feeling, perception, thought, in its most small unit, we call it Dharma. So the moment of seeing you before any thought occurs, say, When all the things come together which allow me to see you for a moment in your pink, white and red shirt, that moment of apprehension of the white and red shirt is a Dharma. And the fifth is precepts.

[90:44]

Or conduct. Or bearing. I don't know how you translate bearing, but Dogen says that dharma is how you carry yourself, your bearing. What is bearing? How you carry yourself. If a person had a really nice way of standing and you could feel the energy of their body, something like that, they'd have good bearing. So Dogen says that a precept or or your conduct is seen in your bearing. So in this statement, the treasury of the dharma I, the true dharma I, this dharma means

[91:48]

First of all, that you've discovered how to take refuge in the truth of the world as it appears. So you've discovered through this eye, which we can also say is this ability to see the flowing of the mountains, and how to read the sutras, you've discovered the truth of the teaching, But you're not just depending on Buddhism, you see the entire presentation of the world as truth. And you're awake enough to see the tiny interactions in the phenomenal world that are self-organizing and make everything work.

[93:09]

And you also have discovered how your own mental events work, how your perceptions work, how your skandhas work and so forth. And you've discovered how to conduct yourself or bear yourself in harmony with others and with your culture. So much of the teaching, much of this doesn't even have anything to do with Buddhism. It's a kind of inner science. And much of the teaching is how to practice this inner science. So these are the main meanings of Dharma. So that's enough. So maybe that gives you something to talk about.

[94:44]

And... Of course, it's up to you what you want to talk about, but I'd suggest you do as we talked at the beginning of the seminar, and maybe Ulrike mentioned, looking at your own vision and the Buddhist vision and your own inner request and seeing how these fit together in yourself and fit together with each other. So maybe you get together for 40 minutes or so till 10 o'clock and then you can continue as you wish or whatever you want to do. So that's my suggestion.

[95:54]

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