Thank you, each of you, for being here. That makes for many of you, it feels like winter has suddenly arrived. Wherever you came from was probably warmer. Yeah, but... Yeah, the weather may be fun. It's not so important right now. Das Wetter macht vielleicht Spaß, aber das ist im Moment nicht so wichtig. Yeah, what's most important is we're here together. Was am wichtigsten ist, ist, dass wir hier beisammen sind. And, yeah, we're starting another adventure. Und wir beginnen ein weiteres Abenteuer. Looking at a koan. One of the basic pedagogical patterns or something like that in Zen Buddhism is to inspect that which is held up before you.

[01:15]

That of course means whatever appears And in this case it means today, this week, this koan. Now, koan is part of what's called something like encounter dialogue. Now, the encounter dialogue is not just in the koan, Indra and the Buddha taking a walk in a park. Hey Indra, let's go for a walk. Yeah, I mean, this is a silly story. Buddhists don't believe in Indra. How the hell, heck, did Indra get in here? Yeah, it's also a lovely story. And as all koans seemingly simple story.

[02:41]

But the encounter dialogue is not just whoever the protagonists of the koan are. The encounter dialogue is also us being here. It's the ridiculous, the opposite, or at least different than the ridiculousness of a Tay Show being on the Internet. Yeah, I mean, I guess a lecture on the Internet's okay. You might learn something from it, I guess. But it's really not a teisho then. A teisho means a lecture, an encounter, dialogue with one or more students, practitioners, about a koan. That's what makes it an adventure.

[03:57]

I really don't know what's going to happen this week. I'm not sitting here with all this all figured out and I'm going to tell you. If that was what I was doing, I'd be so bored, I'd retire early. It's because I don't know anything and you're going to help me that I find this fun. So as usual, I like to start out slowly. Yeah, not just slowly. I like to fumble around. Fumble around? Yeah. Yeah, okay. Try things out. Again, to inspect that which is held up before you.

[05:14]

That's one of the phrases that characterizes encounter dialogue. Now, I think whenever we do these frozen branches, winter branches, we ought to discuss koans themselves. What koans? What's the history of Koans? What's the background of Koans? What do we see when Koans appear in our own life? And are they appearing in our life in the way that they were designed by the tradition to appear?

[06:25]

But first, just let's look at how they appear. Now, recently I've been suggesting in the last couple of months that we sit in the satisfaction of sitting itself. Yeah, I think this is extremely... I think it's good to do, and I think it's good advice. Because it does a number of things, but it shifts you from mental formulations to your experience. And it enters you into that fine-tuning when you discover satisfaction or ease or the lack of either.

[07:30]

But today I think I ought to emphasize to sit in the experience of sitting itself. To sit within the experience of sitting, whatever it is. It may not be satisfying. Often it isn't. But just to sit within that experience, this experience, whatever it is. Yeah, your stomach may not feel so good. Your shoulders may be tight. Your head may be cockeyed. Cockeyed? Cockeyed.

[08:55]

Cockeyed means you see things. That's cockeyed. That's straight. Your head may not be straight. Yeah, put it that way. Cockeyed. You're cockeyed. Yeah. Yeah. I think it means when you look at something, it's crooked. I don't know. It doesn't mean you're looking at a hen. Anyway. So whatever the experience is, that's what it is. That's a good attitude to bring to a koan. Whatever happens to come up when you hold this before you, Was immer zufällig oder was immer gerade auftaucht, wenn du das vor dir hinhältst?

[10:05]

It's kind of a koan Rorschach. Rorschach? Yeah. You studied psychology? So eine Art koan Rorschach. Yeah. He must have been German. Yeah. Or Austrian or something. Something like that. Swiss, probably. Yeah? Okay. Anyway, so you hold whatever comes up when you look at this koan. You can just look at it as a simple experience. And I think you can forget about Indra and the Buddha. Just have you had any experiences where the beginning seems to be the completion. Yeah, I mean, immediately several came up when I read the colon again.

[11:20]

I've read it many times, of course, over the years, but when I read it again, various stories came up to me. Some I've told you, some I haven't. Sometimes I think if I told something in a day show 25 years ago, you all know it. And sometimes I think if I've told something a hundred times in the last ten years, none of you know it. But part of my obligation as a Zen teacher is to tell you something about my Buddhist biography.

[12:26]

Because again, this is a face-to-face encounter, dialogue, something. And this way of teaching and this teaching is carried in stories about encounter dialogues. Carried in the biographies, dharmic biographies of our lineage. So as part of teaching I should share some of my dharmic biography. What to talk about? I don't know. Anyway, so this story brings that up.

[13:37]

And it brings it up in the sense that it's not really about any real event. This is not a real event. And Indra bopping along in the garden. And along with Dipankara Buddha in the background. Yeah. I can see them in Atmar in our garden right now. You can't see. You're facing this way, but... You saw him, didn't you? I saw him. I still see them. Thanks. That's a good translator.

[14:42]

Okay. Well, I remember... A friend of mine was... going back to the East Coast. And I'd started sitting with Suzuki Roshi. And I'd brought David to a few lectures. And Suzuki Roshi, even after a lecture, made a point of speaking to David. But this was, I don't know, I think David's exposure to Sukershi was only for a few months. But I thought I should take him out to dinner. Why I chose a Mexican flamenco bar, I'll never know. I've always been curious about it, so I decided I'd never been in it before in my life.

[15:59]

It was a ridiculous place to have a life-changing conversation. David didn't seem to mind, but just in case, I picked up the check. But during the meal he suddenly said to me, you know Dick, if we really knew what we were doing, we would do nothing but practice Buddhism the rest of our lives. And I looked at him, and I said, yes, you're right. And as I said it, I felt some kind of iron door coming down. And when I said that, I saw a kind of iron door falling down.

[17:12]

That cut me off from my past and any other alternatives. So we finished dinner and I picked a check. So we finished dinner and I paid the bill. I had a borrowed car, so I said I'd take him to the airport the next day. I went and picked him up at his apartment. Yeah, and I said to him, you know, thank you for what you said last night, yesterday, last evening. And he said, what did I say? And I told him, he said, oh, did I say that? He didn't remember. Oh, okay. But anyway, thanks anyway. Okay. Now, of course, there were Factors in the situation that were different than David's.

[18:34]

I was looking at Sukhiroshi in the context of everything I'd done before. And similar teachers of philosophy and religion and so forth. And also David was going east, back to the east coast where he was from. And I was not going back to the east coast where I was from also. So in effect, by seeing him off, taking him to the airplane, airport, I was deciding not to go back to where I was from.

[19:35]

So all of the conditions which made me hear what he said and I think he meant what he said for himself too Yeah, but he wasn't in a context which supported the statement. Yeah. And for me it was a trigger. It actuated something. Well, I mean, we're here today in many ways because of David saying that to me. No, you might be practicing Buddhism, but you wouldn't be practicing in this place with these people if David hadn't said that to me.

[21:05]

So in more than just a sense, when David said that to me, a sanctuary was... planted, started, finished. No, it's probably good that the word sanctuary is used and not monastery or something like that. Yeah, because at least in English sanctuary means a sacred, protected place. Because at least in English sanctuary means a sacred and protected place. Like we have bird sanctuaries. Do you? We do.

[22:06]

Where birds are protected and can't be hunted. Oh, okay. How would we say that? Oh, okay. So bird protection areas. Yeah, and there's... Wild boar sanctuaries, where boars can be hit. No, anyway. Okay. Wild what? Excuse me. It's not important. Okay. Not important. I'm just mumbling here. I'm sort of inspecting whatever appears here. Okay. And it also, in the Christian church, the area around the altar, I think, is called the sanctuary. And so really, my life from that moment on was a kind of place of worship or place of practice.

[23:23]

So you must have made... There must be times when you've made a shift like that. Nobody knows quite how it happens or what the conditions are, but sometimes it happens. Of course, the second noble truth is there's a cause, and this gone is definitely about cause, cause and effect. Yes, but when is the cause also simultaneously the effect? This koan is asking that among other things. And I think to feel your way into the koan, you have to feel your way into similar experiences you've had.

[24:49]

Yeah, I didn't know about the Bodhisattva vow at that time. But in effect, I took the fourth of the four Bodhisattva vows. The Buddha's way is endless. I vow to follow it. So when I came upon that vow, it was easy for me to take it because I'd already taken it in a Mexican flamenco bar. Yeah, and I've been suggesting recently that we also take a look at these vows for ourselves. Perhaps in our meditation.

[26:04]

And the form I would suggest, you can try all the forms, but the basic form I would suggest that you repeat the beginning of zazen or some point in zazen. Your sentient beings are innumerable. Yeah, and you really kind of feel that. Sentient beings. I mean, look, we're all sentient beings here. Or something like that. And each of you are your parents and your grandparents and your friends and you're a complex of persons. Actually, each of you is. So we not only have innumerable sentient beings compressed in each of us, Yeah, comprised.

[27:11]

Each of you also has innumerable relationships with other sentient beings. So in the midst of this human space, As I say, we're born into a human space. We live in a human space. These koans are trying to show us a human space, a particular human space. So you spend a little time with sentient beings, innumerable sentient beings. Also verbringt ihr damit ein bisschen Zeit, fühlende Wesen, zahllose fühlende Wesen. What's your relationship to them? Was ist deine Beziehung mit ihnen?

[28:12]

Buddhism says clarify, make clear your relationship to them. You have one, make it clear. Der Buddhism sagt, kläre deine Beziehung zu ihnen, denn du hast ja eine, also kläre sie. Yeah. And I think that the most thoroughly affecting and effective way relationship is to vow to lessen their suffering. Which includes your own. Suzuki Roshi used to say, you can't really help anybody suffering until you can free yourself from your own suffering. Perhaps an entry to that is to sit in the satisfaction and ease of sitting itself. Yeah.

[29:19]

And delusions are inexhaustible. I vow to end them. Dharma gates are numberless. I vow to enter them. The Buddha's way is endless. I vow to follow it. And I suggest you say them once in that way. And if you do it at the beginning, more or less the beginning of Zazen, you're still sort of conscious. But by the time you've reached the last vow, the Buddhist way is endless.

[30:22]

Zazen mind is crept into you. And filaments of dream and so forth are there. So then you go, say them backwards. Fourth, three, second verse. Then you see whatever comes up. Maybe you say them differently. Maybe you find different vowels you're saying. So you're looking at the vowels when we look at this, come on. Now, one other story that came up that I inspected. After my first year of college, I was working at a restaurant as a waiter on Long Island.

[31:36]

No, no, Cape Cod. Yeah, and I, you know, in college you're supposed to know what you're doing or be making decisions. So I was thinking, you know, in the second year you're supposed to focus more, you know, etc., So that was going on in the background of my activity while I was waiting on tables, etc. ? I waited on Edward G. Robinson once. None of you know who that is. Anyway, it was just like he is in the movies.

[32:38]

Anyway, fine. So one night I slept in a bunk bed, in a dormitory type thing for the waiters. And I sat up in bed suddenly in the middle of the night with the question, what am I going to do with my life? And I sat up in bed and I thought, really, this is really what I thought, I'm an American. It's something that never occurred to me before. It was drilled into me by my mother, I was middle class, but never did she say I was an American. You know, he's telling me the middle class is the best.

[33:49]

I began to think it was the middle way. But when I woke up with this, I'm an American, it was the first context I could think of for what I might do with my life. So I thought about that in the dark for a while and the person above me, hoping I wouldn't wake him up, because I didn't shout or anything. And so I thought, if I'm an American, this is the context in which I have to decide what are Americans supposed to do with their lives. And then I, after a little while, I sat there about 20 minutes and decided a bit.

[34:57]

After a while I thought, I don't know what an American is. I couldn't figure out, how do I know what an American is? I have nothing to compare it to. Somehow I decided, if I don't know what an American is, I don't have a context, I don't have to do anything with my life. It's a completely flawed logic. But it's what I decided. I have no context to make the decision, so I'm just going to live moment by moment. I just see what happens.

[36:00]

Dharma gates are endless. I vow to enter them. It turned into that vow. Just to see what happens. Yeah, so it's... Again, maybe a blade of grass was placed. To not have any plans and to see what happens. To inspect what appears. No, I'm not saying in most of our lives can all of us do this. And I did other things too. And you each have a context you have to live in. But can we shake loose of our context? and walk with Buddha and Indra in the garden, or sit with Buddha and Indra in our zazen.

[37:27]

In the experience of zazen itself, not in mental formulations, not in preferences, just whatever appears. Let's look at the koan this way first. Okay, thank you very much.

[37:55]

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