Feeling the sameness of a schedule from our sesshin to our daily practice. And also feeling a difference in a kind of density and texture to the schedule. And as I mentioned during the session, the schedule is almost a kind of heartbeat for us. Joining together in a kind of shared pace and rhythm that we continually find ourselves and one another, and where we may continually lose that self that we're finding.

[01:08]

Once during a lecture, Suzuki Roshi said to us, You must continue this practice forever. And I remember I felt a kind of physical shock, like my heart stopped. How can I do that? How is that possible? And then he said, to continue our practice forever is to be completely involved in what we're doing right now. So the concept of a past, present and a future finds its life in our arms and hands and Findet sein Leben in unseren Armen und Händen und Beinen und Füßen.

[02:59]

A depth of experience, a verticality of experience. Eine Tiefe der Erfahrung, eine Vertikalität der Erfahrung. The banner of truth we explored in Sashin. The living breath in our spine. Which we hold erect and which also supports us in this erectness. is out of a kind of time. Each bodily moment, each activity may be a moment of practice. Jeder Körpermoment, jede Aktivität kann ein Moment der Praxis sein.

[04:19]

What kind of moment is this? it may begin with having some concept of a moment, some idea about what a moment is. An idea of duration, how long does a moment actually last. But as we begin to Hold a moment, not just think about a moment. And as we may begin to consider a moment as a body moment or a breath moment, there's a difference. there's a different dimensionality to our experience.

[05:28]

So when we consider why it's so difficult to count the breath to ten, It's because awareness doesn't know how to count. Awareness resides in this presence of a body or a breath moment, not a thought, a And also why it's so difficult, an observation Bekaroshi made today. It's because we tend to carry our identity in our thinking, not in our breath or body.

[06:43]

This is a fundamental shift. from our thoughts and beliefs and associations to our physical experiencing in a moment of activity. And the so-called craft of practice is about making this shift To find in the midst of these moments of activity the space in between them the pause the pace of zazen the pace we are in this space we can allow the world to come forward in our experience

[08:24]

Not just of ideas about it. But an experience about the dimension of each moment. Why each day of Sesshin seems like an eternity. And why five days passes in an instant. And so it's a knowing from our bodily experience, not just our idea. And it's intending to do that. It's intending to make this kind of shift. And so continuous practice isn't simply a practice that we carry from the past into the present that we're going to hold in some kind of idea we have about the future.

[09:55]

Continuous practice is a practice that's continuing in each moment. And it's based in a wholehearted intention to do this. And a kind of choiceless, unedited awareness. Und einer Art wahllosem, unbearbeitetem Gewahrsein das zu tun. Wo unsere Ausgangsposition, unsere körperliche Erfahrung in dem Moment ist, and not our...

[10:59]

Thank you. My great good Dharma friend and poet who practiced with us in Tassajara Jane Hirschfield has a verse about this. She says, even now, decades later, I wash my face with cold water. not for the memory or the icy cold slap.

[12:19]

The slap of that cold water. Icy cold water. But she says simply to make the unwanted wanted. So in Tassajara there's no heat in the cabins. And there's no heat in the water in the cabins. And as I mentioned, in the winter we would have to leave the faucets dripping, otherwise the pipes would freeze and break. So it's not just cold water, it's ice water in the winter. And it's the way ice is so cold it can burn, it's so cold.

[13:22]

To make the unwanted wanted. Joining a wholehearted intention to enter each moment. With a kind of choiceless willingness not to choose. what comes up. But whatever comes up is the opportunity to continue our practice. So even if what comes up is ice water that's so cold it's like it's burning cold. And you could say that making a choice to accept such a thing is a picking and choosing.

[15:04]

It's not choiceless. It's not unedited. But the willingness to enter the moment is a willingness to refrain from indulging in a mind of picking and choosing. Aber diese Bereitschaft, einen Moment zu betreten, bedeutet, sich davon loszueisen, in einem Geist zu verweilen, der aussucht und ausweht. Es bedeutet, zu empfangen, was kommt. Es zu halten. and then releasing it. It's the performance of a kind of choiceless awareness.

[16:14]

A willingness to experience momentariness. Eine Bereitschaft, Momenthaftigkeit zu erfahren. Wo sie nicht nur ein Konzept ist, sondern so wie eiskaltes Wasser, das so kalt ist, dass es brennt. Und das in das zu verwandeln, wie wir uns um unser Leben kümmern. So it's the possibility to continue our practice forever by not holding back from what is arising now.

[17:20]

Thank you all very much.

[17:46]

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