And that Zen is a teaching. But we also know it's not just a teaching. It's also a practice, a practice of the teachings. But we can also know now, and what I'm emphasizing, it's not just a practice. It's a craft of practice. And the teachings are often embedded in the craft itself. Before I say more about that, Anybody have anything you'd like to say?

[01:01]

If we're going to end pretty soon, I don't want to just hear my own voice. You might imagine I get tired of it sometimes. That's one reason I've never listened to a recording of my voice, maybe. God, once is enough. But I did actually hear my San Francisco Zen Center talk. Since it's archived and so I had this funny dissonance of remembering what it felt like to say it and then hearing it from the outside. And I wanted to turn it off.

[02:05]

but I got fascinated because I never knew what I was going to say next. Okay, someone else's voice. Yes. I would like to say something to the expression continuity. These days I really enjoy living in the world, working in the world, and being in the world. I don't come here very often, usually twice a year, and I do not come here to Johanneshof very often, maybe twice a year, but every time I come here I feel

[03:28]

But every time I come here, I have a very strong feeling that the Johanneshof gives me a feeling of continuity. The house Sambha continues that which I do not manage very often in my everyday life. And I have great respect for the house Sangha that you can and do hold it up. what you are doing and how you are doing in the present.

[04:47]

When I arrive here and at the moment when I enter the parking lot of Johanneshof, I feel in another field. I can feel, I feel that I'm in a different field. It's like the Buddha field. It's like a different atmosphere. Yes, I feel that way too. I'm so grateful for the people continuing this. It's amazing because lay life is so interesting and complex these days that not so many people are willing to just do this.

[05:55]

But I'm glad that some people do. Because I need a lot of help to keep practicing. And I know what it takes. Okay, someone else? Yeah? Thank you for your beautiful pot. Thank you for your beautiful introduction. I have been observing for a long time during the sasana, a phenomenon where I try to find out what appears first,

[07:02]

So for some time I've been noticing something that happens during Zazen and I've been wondering what comes first. The bodily pain. or a negative feeling. A negative feeling, I mean negative emotion or maybe negative thoughts. And it seems to me that at most times, mostly, the negative thought came first and triggered the bodily pain. And in the group I was in yesterday, the seminar group with Katrin, where there were a lot of people, we spent most of the time talking about our negative feelings or thoughts,

[08:11]

In the group we talked a lot about various experiences in our everyday life where negative thoughts arise and how we can practice with them or how we try to practice with them And how actually our practice has changed how we deal with negative thoughts. unkippt in die Möglichkeit, dass man kritisch gegenüber Situationen oder anderen Wesen ist, also dass die Schwelle dahin, dass das sehr klein ist.

[09:46]

Also das ist leicht passiert, meinst du? Yes. So very often in everyday life when there are negative thoughts or feelings then one very easily becomes critical of other people. But through practice we manage to perceive the moment when we can stop. And through practice we can manage to catch ourselves in our negative thoughts and change that to to be able to let these thoughts go and be friendly or at least neutral in our communication with the other.

[11:00]

And that is kind of a freeing feeling for the self. Well, there's no question that, well, let me say it this way. There's negative thoughts and positive thoughts, let's say. But these also create, arise from or create modalities of mind that are negative or positive. So if you're sitting zazen and there's a lot of pain in your zazen and you don't care it can create a kind of very clear mind But if you're in a bad state of mind for some reason, annoyed at something, and then your legs start to hurt, then you're annoyed that your legs hurt.

[12:26]

So that's very contagious. Yeah, so... the viscosity of the mind you create establishes what else floats in it. Someone else? Yeah, Paul. I've been turning over the distinction that you made yesterday Between an observing self and an observing mind. Turning it over in the sense of physically putting it in the stream of activity. And finding that the observing self settles better around the content of experience.

[13:47]

The observing self sails better? Settles in content, gravitates to content. content in relation to an experience, beliefs or preferences that I may have, and the observing mind seems to settle more comfortably in the activity of things, the process. And there's a kind of relief I feel, not exactly a freedom, but a relief. in the lack of self-referencing in this observing mind.

[14:59]

That's a good example of the craft of practice to actually be able to experience the difference between observing mind and observing self. And it's not a distinction most people would even imagine making. But it's a distinction that if you put it into practice, if you notice it or you are taught it, it can be a powerful therapy. Yes. Last week I went to the documenta.

[16:19]

It's still on? It ends today. Do I have a motorcycle? And there were two installations there which reminded me of here. Okay, I hope so. I've seen some installations there, so... Go ahead. There was a video that went through the cultural railway station. With a video camera? Yes, there was a picture on this... So one building is called Kulturbahnhof. and in there one could have an iPad, so one had this kind of video screen and also earphones, so one could walk through this cultural station.

[17:35]

So look at the screen and hear the voice through the earphones. So what one saw on the screen was the same place but taken on a different day. On different day, yes. That's good, I like that. And the voice told you go to the right or go to the left and so forth? Okay, so also all the voices, the surrounding voices, you would hear on one hand the surrounding voices through the earphones from the other day, and the actual surrounding voices where you were.

[18:41]

And so there was like a... Parallel, like two realities parallel. Is that like following the schedule here? So two different worlds all at once? Yeah. The other installation was in a wood and the wood was very quiet and silent but then one would hear the signs of the ocean and a big storm. It was very quiet.

[19:45]

And at the same time it was very quiet. So this is sort of like the experience of the two truths simultaneously. Yeah. Well, I hope we can clear that up. I mean, it's not so bad when you go home and the two truths are like yesterday and today. But, yeah, it's like that. Yes? I would like to add to that and to Shiri's... I would like to add something both to Gabi's, what Gabi said and what Chiri said. The experience I had in practice period. was very fulfilling and nourishing and very fulfilling for me.

[20:48]

The experience of life was very complete and very nourishing. And at the same time my, as Shiri describes, my love for life, that I live with my family in normal circumstances, And what is missing with that? Is that parallel to it? Yes, the experience of life in the practice period, which is complete, and also another life in this everyday life, which I also enjoy. And at the same time I also experience my everyday life at home as complete and nourishing, and I like it very much. I feel as someone who has been practicing for more than 20 years and is a mother in a society, I sometimes feel as if there is no category

[21:53]

Since I've been practicing for 20 years, and I'm a mother and have a family, and I do practice, I sometimes feel that there is no category for this kind of person who is me. At a point in my life where I am asking myself how do I continue, how can I continue, how do I want to continue, also considering that the Dharma Zentrum Quellenweg is developing in a way it is developing. I very strongly feel within me two qualities of how to live my life. But I do not see the answers.

[23:32]

I mean, which answers are there, could be there? And I ask myself whether maybe others who are here with me in the Sangha have similar feelings, have a similar experience. And I also ask myself, or I ask you, Roshi, whether you have suggestions or maybe expectations of us lay sangha members. You don't want to hear my expectations.

[24:36]

They're too big. No, I think, well, first of all, you're a category unto yourself. As we're all categories unto ourselves. But there is a new category we could call a lay adept. And in our history of our lineage, there aren't many. There's Vimalakirti. But he was a very unusual layman who could fill a room like this with 10,000 bodhisattvas. And you know, I'm not doing that well. And then there's Laman Pang. And he was an outstanding Zen practitioner.

[25:39]

But when he died, his wife and daughter went and sat down beside him and died too. So so much for that family. So we want adept lay practitioners whose family continues. I don't think we want to form a special group of lay adepts. Because then there would be a discussion about who belongs. So we could have 20-year alumni. I don't know, but something like this is going to evolve. And my only hope is that we can find a way to continue the teaching.

[27:04]

Okay, so let me say something about, if I can now, all right? I have permission, okay. I just took it. You only come once or twice a year, but you're a big support. It seems to me I see you more than twice a year, but maybe that's just because I can't forget you. Okay. So the emphasis I found myself choosing during this seminar is how can you continue or establish the practice of looking for the self, let's call it that.

[28:33]

So I'm giving you homework. Or work work. Work home? No, I don't know. Homework. So that ends up to be why I'm emphasizing the craft you can bring into your own work. First, let's just be simple. Buddhism takes the position, the absolute position, There's no intrinsic or innate self.

[29:41]

And there's no intrinsic or innate existence. And as Nagarjuna, when he tries to make an absolute negation, When I say something is black, it doesn't mean it might be white. So when I say something doesn't exist, I don't mean there's any alternative. It doesn't exist. Now, you should explore that. Is that true for you? Okay. All right. It doesn't mean there isn't existence and there isn't self, but there's no innate or intrinsic existence or self.

[30:48]

Now, when we look at the subtle topography of our life the many worldviews and often conflicting worldviews that actually function within us. There may be times, will be times, when your activity da kann es Zeiten geben und da wird es Zeiten geben, wenn eure Aktivität, eure körperliche Aktivität, oder eure geistige Aktivität, wo die verwurzelt ist Now, innate I'm using to mean, what it does mean, inborn.

[32:16]

It's been there from the beginning. It has an inborn permanent nature. And intrinsic I'm using to mean its existence is entirely on its own terms inwardly. Now, we really don't, in the precise craft of Zen, we can't use words in a generalized sense. Oh, we'll go off base.

[33:17]

So a loose understanding of no-self is not going to help us practice. We need to start with as precise and exact a definition of no-self as we can. Or, you know, you just get befuddled. So no innate or intrinsic self. Let's try to make those words work for us. Okay. Now I introduced the practice of closely held attention.

[34:21]

Based on an extension of closely placed recollection. A closely placed recollection. Vasubandhu's term for a craft of practice would be in a simple sense, like taking the Dharma phrase to pause for the particular. and place that Dharma phrase, that teaching, in the minute topography of your mental and physical activity. in details of your mental and physical activity.

[35:53]

Now, the concept here is that the world is interdependent. It's like, again, holding a stone in the flow of a stream. You're not doing something in a static world. You're actively participating in an active world. And that activity is not out there in the Autobahn or in Frankfurt. The activity is in the momentariness of a present which is only durative in your sensory.

[37:15]

So you're placing, you're recollecting a teaching and placing it in your activity. And you're letting that placing it in your activity influence your activity. The teaching not only incubates in your activity, That teaching also incubates your activity. So the name for the world, Tathagatagarbha, the simultaneous womb, embryo world,

[38:16]

Die gleichzeitige Gebärmutter-Embryo-Welt really assumes, if you know how to know how it is effectually womb-like and effectually embryo-like, then the world itself is very fertile. The world itself is very fertile and produces, gives birth to Bodhisattvas and Buddhas. Now I added or said let's also talk about closely held attention.

[39:39]

Now I'm here emphasizing not the teaching placed but the attention held. In some sense it's not different from what I just said. But maybe the language allows more access for us. Okay, so the closely held attention would be like being attentive to attention. And I said bring these threads into the weaving of your daily life.

[40:46]

And often you weave a question into the fabric, which that it's a question in the fabric brings the fabric alive. So you've woven into or pulled into the fabric. What is the tension? And you pulled into the weave what is continuity. Und ihr webt mit ein die Frage, was ist Kontinuität?

[41:55]

And what is agency or decisional process? Und was ist diese Handlungsschaft, der Prozess des Entscheidungstraffens? And you can also bring in a thread of what is memory. Ihr könnt auch einen Faden mit einbeben, der ist, was ist Erinnerung? And what is the body? Und was ist der Körper? And what is self? You can take any question that you feel has a dynamism for you. And then just let that incubate, let that weave, let the weaving go on. The first koan of the Shoyuroku emphasizes this weaving. Okay, now.

[43:00]

Okay. Now, that process should give you a feeling if you really develop a closely held attentiveness to the fabric of your life as it's being woven. What happens is spontaneously arising thoughts. Thoughts you can't think your way to thoughts but from the myriad things, from the 10,000 things, engaging with this weaving of the 10,000 things, Noticings arise or thoughts arise, not simply from rational or concentrated or constructive thinking,

[44:20]

but arise from the field of your living as the unexpectedness of dreams arises from the field of your living. You can apply a certain kind of primitive rational thinking to dreams after they've arisen. But dreams arise from a process that's beyond rationality and ordinary thinking. And I myself, just as a little footnote, handnote, etc., something, yeah, don't think we should think of dreams as somehow in the service of consciousness.

[45:40]

And consciousness often destroys dreams. Okay, so there's a spontaneous arising of noticings. And that spontaneous arising is what we call an insight. The kind of insight that seems to come from nowhere but is extremely convincing. Sometimes falsely convincing. Because there's also false enlightenment. But enlightenment is an insight which changes you and continues to change you. Enlightenment is also something that is more likely to happen if you have a precise attentiveness engaged with the world.

[47:18]

So I've given you this crafted practice of closely placed and closely held attention And this morning I also gave you this practice of attentiveness to the potentialities of appearance. That's a good way to put it actually.

[48:32]

I hadn't thought of that until just this moment. Attentiveness to the potentialities of appearance. Okay, so... So if you, as part of this practice, as part of this practice, use physical activity to join noticeable physical activity with attentiveness, Okay, so let's say that the noticeable physical activity is simply, for example, they're getting up.

[49:57]

Goodbye. Thank you. Or the sound of my voice. or the feel of my tongue and lips and teeth and palate making the sound. Okay, by doing this you're articulating, developing the power of attention Certainly you're developing the muscle of attention. But it's more like you're developing the intelligence of attention. An intelligent person is a person who can see into the details of things. So this is an attentiveness which can be present in the details of things.

[51:14]

And which is most... iconically exemplified by the omniscience of the Buddha who knows fully the potentialities of each moment. Okay. The potentialities of each moment, that's another seminar.

[52:16]

Okay, now let's... Let me get back with the moment without its potentialities. Okay. I used the example of Van Gogh the other day. He used paint to make you aware that the painting was made of paint. So he didn't use the paint to create the illusion of a scene.

[53:19]

He used the paint to make you aware that the illusion of the scene was created from paint. That would be like knowing that the scene right now is created from mind. And he also did something visually very brilliant. He removed, in most of his paintings, pictorial space. Which means he didn't paint consciousness. He didn't paint the conscious pictorial space in which you see things. Er hat nicht diesen bewussten Bildraum gemalt, in dem man Dinge sieht.

[54:35]

There's just a mass of leaves and trees and stuff graining right in front of you. Da ist einfach so eine Masse von Blättern und Bäumen und Zeug genau vor dir. Not in the illusion of a pictorial space. Und nicht als Illusion eines Bildraumes. But just lots of details. And as a result, I would say that his paintings give you a feeling of realness. That first of all, there's the realness of the paint. It really is paint. And the brush strokes are the same no matter what he's painting. He doesn't change the brush strokes according to what he's painting. And they're usually vertical. So there's an immediate rhythm of his presence and his mind and his breath in the brush strokes.

[55:38]

So it's like his thumbprint, or like Japanese potters often leave the pattern of their hand around the glaze that they put on the bowl. So you've feel the presence of the painter, the authentic presence of the painter in the authentic paint from which the painting is constructed. Then there's a mass of details not distinguished within a pictorial space. Dann gibt es eine Masse von Details, die nicht in einem Bildraum unterschieden sind. So you have to do the work to create the appearance.

[56:51]

Sondern ihr müsst die Arbeit machen, um eine Erscheinung zu schaffen. So you look at a painting of his carefully and you feel you've had a real experience. Und deswegen schaut ihr ein solches Bild sehr genau an und... So in a somewhat similar way, if you bring precise attentiveness to all your physical activity, stepping, walking, standing, stretching, straightening up, You feel you're in a real world. Now part of one of the main conceptual frames of Zen Buddhist practice is to know things as they are.

[58:04]

So if you have a precise attentiveness in all your physical activities and mental activities, these are not beliefs, these are facts, these are real factual experiences. you feel you're in a real world that you are part of. This generates a mind of authenticity. And this mind of authenticity, like Milena pointed out, calls forth a feeling of truth and calls forth a feeling that you're knowing things as they are and calls forth a mind that as it is evolves and extends, it tends to know things as they are.

[59:37]

And we can all have a taste of this. And sometimes inadvertently we taste this and then we feel very good on a particular day. Und dann passiert es uns aus Versehen, dass wir einen Geschmack davon bekommen und fühlen uns an dem Tag besonders gut. But we can also develop this as a practice. Aber wir können das auch als Praxis entwickeln. And coming into the preciseness of the world. Und in diese Präzision der Welt zu kommen. And also simultaneously developing the preciseness of attentiveness. You can enter interdependence in a new way. For these four functions of self, which are also four junctions of self. junctures where self can pour into the world and cover everything um um

[60:57]

The interdependent world is a causal world. But the... The still mind knows the world not necessarily acausally. I mean causally. Und der stille Geist kennt die Welt nicht unbedingt als kausal. The imperturbable mind, that's the word I was looking for. Der unerschütterliche Geist kennt die Welt nicht unbedingt kausal.

[62:20]

So the imperturbable mind knows the world a-causally. Der unerschütterliche Geist kennt die Welt a-causal. Now, what does it mean to know the world a-causally and not causally as interdependent? It means your attentiveness is at the basis of each sense. In other words, this rock, this rock floor, which I don't know which rock was in Rilke and Nietzsche's post office. Or tie over there. But I intend to find out if I can. Because I want to vibrate. But that's a causal thinking.

[63:21]

But this rock right now is arising acausally in my senses. Spontaneously rising from the potentiality of my senses. And it's called technically Buddhism something like the abiding base of a sense. The basis for seeing is there before I see. So the vaka has a causal reason for being here and stuck in the cement and so forth.

[64:25]

but it also simply arises spontaneously in my senses purifying mind and body without any realm of karma or suffering and the self in this way appears with tremendous freedom. An openness, a potential, an unbounded, as one of the terms, an unbounded openness. Okay, Stefan? I agree. I'm glad. So I think that's enough.

[65:38]

And it's one o'clock. I don't know how I'm so good. Really. It must be years of training. Totally spontaneously accidental. Well, that was fun. Thank you very much for allowing me to do that. And you're really getting good at it. Yes, try this.

[66:13]

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