Little enlightens. So, I mean, again, you're faced with a situation. And it's a lot like, maybe in this case, a mystery movie. Indiana Jones in the Cave of Dreams or something. And if you push this, that, and this, the door opens. But you don't know which to push. How do you do it? In the end, you just have to go... Because they have to be done simultaneously. And then the floor opens up and you perish.

[01:10]

And you don't care. So... But sometimes if you practice in this way, you're in the midst of a situation and there's hundreds of possibilities. And usually you notice this group of things. And it's usually a version of that group of things you notice. And at some moment in the midst of noticing a leaf falls through And suddenly the whole thing fits together differently. And this koan is saying, you can't do this, but you can intend it. And you have to work within yourself the vision of enlightenment and a lessness or beingness we share with dogs, horses, leaves, etc.,

[02:44]

And you can ask yourself, what hides it from you? What hides it from me? You know, like that. And sometimes we hide it from each other because we're such complicated persons, social beings. It might be easier in nature or with a horse or a dog. He was born in the belly of a dog. This is really changing your point of view.

[03:47]

I was born in the belly of a dog. So this also requires a trust in yourself. Trust in a kind of own organizing quality to life. So this koan really asks a lot of you, it asks compassion, vision, intention, Faith and actual physical trust of yourself. We can understand these as the five petals of Zen.

[04:47]

Bodhidharma spoke about that he said something like a flower opens with five petals. And the fruit ripens of itself. And that's usually called the five schools of Zen or five teachers. But it could also be intention, faith, trust, compassion. And thusness. Around the center of flower, which is emptiness. So this koan asks you to work on, to cultivate these qualities, And suddenly you can step through that glass. Or if those qualities are there, suddenly the fruit starts to ripen.

[06:14]

But you can't make it ripen. All you can do is create the conditions for the ripening. Sorry, I got carried away there. I'm going to have to slow down. He tries to express this by saying, a curved hook, you won't catch anything but clams, maybe a fish. To catch a dragon, you need a straight hook. A fish hook, which is just a straight... No. No, just a straight hook. With a curved hook you catch a fish.

[07:45]

Did you say a curved hook you catch clams and fish? Fish. You said a straight hook too first. A straight hook you catch. Well, I maybe... Anyway, with a curved hook you catch clams and fish. With a straight hook you catch a dragon. Or a koan. So who would sit fishing with a straight hook? Full of compassion and tension and everything, you know. Nobody, you know, you're crazy. That's what it's like to practice Zen. To fish with a straight hook and everything is caught on the hook. That's quite enough.

[08:49]

Is it all clear now? All is clear. Yes. I just have a problem with that, among many others, with this. Since it has, why is it then in this skin there? Mm-hmm. Is he saying, why is the, why is the, why is the, if the dog has brutal nature, why is it in this form? We can just as easily say that about a person. Of course. Yeah. The monk is also talking about himself. And it also means, you know, if it has Buddha nature, why is it in this skin bag with pimples and, you know, and so forth, and crinkle?

[09:55]

So, you know, it's really bringing the question home again. What does this skin bag have to do with a bright jewel with no shape? I mean, That assumes so much about the human form. The skin bag? Skin bag. Like, why the skin bag? It's like... Because without the skin bag, we couldn't realize the good in action.

[10:56]

Oh, yeah. Maybe so. I'm just trying to get a sense of the smoke. I mean, obviously, he knew what he... I mean, he was not just flipping out. Well, to me it makes sense. I mean, I can say there's a dog of a Buddha nature. I'm very into that. I'm trying to realize, I'm trying to work with how could this ordinary person here think about or imagine Buddha nature or enlightenment or something.

[12:03]

So it's hard for me to have that vision. It's hard for me to imagine it. So I ask Zhaozhou, is it, you know, it's hard for me to imagine, does a dog, Does a dog have a Buddha nature? Buddhism says all sentient beings are Buddha nature. So I don't know what Zhaozhou is going to say. He might say, well, practically speaking, dogs have a kind of consciousness and they can't reflect, so they don't actually achieve enlightenment. And he can't say, so dogs, they can't reflect certain things, but they have a kind of consciousness, and yes, they can't be enlightened.

[13:08]

But Jaja just says, yes. So he says, how come it looks like a dog? And not a Buddha. And not a Buddha. How come I've been practicing all these years and my chin is sagging? I mean, it's real practical getting into it, imagining Buddha, me, uh-uh. How can you imagine that? You have to feel something. And that feeling isn't possible unless you, what can I say, really only imagine it's possible for others. You can only feel this power in yourself or imagine this for yourself when you actually can begin to imagine it for others.

[14:24]

Sometimes people in Sushin, for instance, they're particularly newer people, really hurts and they can't stand it any longer. And someone told me this experience recently. It's not so uncommon. And then suddenly this person felt, this is too high, I can't stand it, I can't do this for myself. Too hard to do for myself. I can only do it, maybe I could do it for others, I could only do it for others. Soon as that person had that feeling, the pain melted away. What?

[15:35]

Why? Where did the pain go? All he did was change the way he felt in a deep way. Now, I can't promise anybody that if in the middle of a very painful third day you think, well, okay, I'll do this for others now. There's this list of things the Roshi gave me to say, oh yeah, that third one, I'm doing it for others. You can't make these things happen. Somehow you have to create the situation and recognitions occur. And when something like that happens you really understand morality very deeply, what it means to do things with and for others.

[16:37]

You physically feel the openness in yourself. So let's take a break. Thanks a lot. Thank you for translating. He talks about thusness as absorption in the nature of things. Absorption in the nature of things. The nature of things means really seeing everything as interdependent. And simultaneously seeing things, or successively seeing things as brilliantly independent. And then thusness, to see the relationship of those two things. And your own relationship to it.

[18:04]

Now, one of the things you brought up about this skin bag thing, it also means that enlightenment is caused. And just as you said, the skin bag is the cause. So it's a very hopeful statement. Now we can also ask, not only does the dog have a Buddha nature, and of course Buddha nature means no Buddha nature, because there's no entity called Buddha nature. So Buddha nature is to recognize, not self-nature, but the no-self, no-Buddha nature. I didn't want to say that before because I thought it would be even more confusing.

[19:12]

But we can also ask, not only does a dog have a Buddha nature, but does the koan have a Buddha nature? In other words, if you immerse yourself in this koan, is the koan Buddha nature? Now, it's very important in our Zen practice to do what was called study from the side. That means study with each other, so I'd like us to get in four or five small groups and have some discussion with each other. About the frustration and so forth. über eure Frustration und so weiter. And secretly sort of look and see if the other guy's got any Buddha nature. Und dann guckt mal so ganz heimlich, ob die anderen wenigstens Buddha Natur haben.

[20:22]

Okay, so be nice if in each group there's a few people who have had some experience with looking at koans. Und es wäre ganz gut, wenn in jeder Gruppe ein paar wären, die schon ein bisschen Erfahrung mit der koan-Praxis haben. Okay? Thanks. All is klar. Even if it's not, you know, all is klar. Ja, selbst wenn es nicht ist, so ist doch alles klar. I don't see any problem. This is a chance to explore how you feel about yourself. To what degree you're compassionate or how do you feel about other people?

[21:51]

What kind of trust you have in yourself? When you sip, do you really feel kind of basic trust in yourself? mind and body. And you can explore. I'm talking about a kind of gentle feeling here, not some kind of iron ball of melting lead in your stomach or something. But a gentle but, you know, honest looking at, what do I feel? And you can reject the nature if you want. Or the idea that unknown nature is a nature or the unfindability of our nature as nature.

[23:14]

Yeah, but then what have you got? You don't feel so good if you reject it completely. But you don't know how to accept it. That doesn't feel... how to accept it completely either. So that's exactly where you start. I can't exactly accept it. I can't exactly reject it. That state of mind is quite good. You may think, well, I should accept it or should be clearer or something. No, your clarity is just accepting, this is what I have.

[24:16]

Do I accept it? I can't accept it. I can't reject it. So you're clearly in this mind. Can't accept, can't reject. And if I was practicing, if you were my teacher and I was practicing this koan with you, I don't know what to do. So I might be saying to myself, self-nature, Buddha-nature, self-nature, Buddha-nature. Or no self-nature, no Buddha-nature, no self-nature, no Buddha-nature. I don't know what to do if I'm saying something like that to myself. So if I have to go to doksan, I don't know what to say, I don't prepare anything, I don't think, oh, well, I should say this and give an answer.

[25:19]

I'd just go in and open my guts and say, no self-nature, no Buddha-nature, self-nature, Buddha-nature. I'd just go in and open my guts and say, He says, get out. Get out, I don't care. I'm not thinking, oh, he threw me out. No, he just threw me out. So what's new? So the next day I go, you know, if I go every day. No self-nature, no Buddha-nature. Get out! Okay. What difference does it make?

[26:25]

You just show yourself. That's all. That's great, isn't it? We're so free That's it for a few minutes. I can't give it up, I can't throw it out. So this is where I live, okay. Insofern lebe ich da einfach. I can't reject it, can't accept it. This is the clarity of my mind. I can't accept, I can't reject. It's okay. Self-nature, Buddha-nature, what is it?

[27:33]

I don't know. I don't know. It's as close as I get. No self nature, no Buddha nature. Breathing. Nothing lacking. No Buddha nature is good enough for me.

[28:47]

I don't need I don't need that. I have such faith just now I don't need anything. Just now, mind, Dogen says. Just now mind, I say. Just now mind, you say. What is just now mind?

[29:52]

Just now mind. Guten Morgen. Guten Morgen. I like this room because, well, I'm familiar with it, but also because for those of you who are rather hidden in the back, I can watch you through the mirrors. Now we're We're looking at this koan, which is, as I've said, the most famous koan and so familiar to anybody who's studied Zen, but that shouldn't hide from us how bizarre it is.

[31:00]

It's pretty bizarre. I mean, what did our mother and father first teach us? Yes and no. Probably no more often than yes. But, and here no and yes are turned into deep philosophical Buddhist principles. On the other hand, maybe the first thing we learn is It should be, when you look at it, something deep about our life.

[32:04]

Now sometimes this mu, no, is taught as a kind of meaningless syllable. Manchmal wird dieses Mu-Nein wie eine bedeutungslose Silbe gelehrt. It could be any word. You could say, you know, Ma-Ma-Ma-Mu-Mu or whatever you want. Ba-Ba-Wa-Wa-Uku-Muku. Es könnte fast irgendein Wort sein. You could say baby talk. Ja, so babysprache. But I don't think this is a fruitful or accurate approach. There is a semantic content to yes or no. Semantic, I'm using an obvious sense of all the meanings, the range of meanings of a word, the sound, the associations, the way in which it may be a sign or signal.

[33:27]

So whether you practice in this koan with yes or no or mu, there's a lot of semantic content that comes with it. And so much essential history of Buddhism, particularly Mu, is emptiness. And to deny the semantic content also belies the whole nature of koans. And the semantic content of Mu denies the whole nature of koans.

[34:32]

And because, I mean, what koans are based on is really, in a way, what happens in meditation when you look at something closely. You know, there's some little detail of our life or there's some phrase from a dream maybe. And when you contemplate it or pay attention to it, you see there's much opens up from that. So a koan is based on here's a sentence or two or a short conversation. And when we contemplate it, it opens up into this commentary and so forth. Now, I'm saying all this because it's so common to see Mu, for many Zen groups, is a sort of mindless repetition of the sound.

[35:43]

So first it does have semantic content. And that's more realistic too because you learn to work with something like Mu with semantic content. It's more realistic in the sense that all of our language brings associations and so forth with it. What you can use Mu for is a way of seeing, whether it's yes or no, or Mu, you can see the flow of associations. You don't have to be attached to any one of them or committed to any one of them. Now, on the other hand, mu also is just the sound without semantic content.

[37:28]

Now, that's not just a meaningless sound, it's thusness. It's the theness, the theness of the cup. So there's a the-ness to the sound mu. So in that sense, and that's where it deteriorates into a meaningless sound, mu or no is just the feeling of the sound. And the thusness of the sound brings out the thusness of whatever you happen to be looking at with Mu on your breath or your mind. Yeah. So I'm trying to really, we're looking at this koan this weekend, to present the traditional, I think, healthy way to practice with this.

[38:44]

Now, Mu has a third aspect, which is that it... Well, there's various ingredients here. There's you and there's the object, mental event or sensation or whatever. So, and then the attention you bring to the mental or sensorial event. And you feel that context. And then you bring something else into it, mu. So that's also bringing in what's not seen. It's like here we have these mirrors.

[40:05]

We see the glass and we see the image in the mirror. But we don't see the paint behind the mirror, the silver coating that allows us to see the reflection. So the paint is hidden in the reflection of the room. And there's aspects of mind like that that are hidden in what we see hides what's happening. So Mu brings in that hidden element or that mystery. Or we can say brings in the other side of the moon.

[41:06]

When you see the full moon, you only see half the moon. Actually, the other side you don't see. So Mu tends to, happens to somehow work to bring in the whole moon when you're only seeing the full moon. So Mu is a very... It had been developed as quite a sophisticated practice. You're working in a certain fluidity of semantic content. And then the feeling of the thusness, the thenness. And then the feeling of, by bringing this in, bringing in what's missing or having a sense of what's not seen.

[42:15]

So I think that's pretty much, I don't need to say much more about this koan. As you all noticed yesterday, it doesn't have many handles. That it tends to stop us, but hopefully stop us in a fruitful way. But, you know, I should add, in some ways what's the most important, it's these elements of all occur, the semantic content and what's missing or what's not seen, occur in a larger media of doubt. Because I think more than any other koan, this koan produces a certain fear and doubt.

[43:21]

A fear that you can't understand. And a doubt, when you really look at Buddha nature and my nature, I mean, there's going to be doubt there. I mean, honestly, you don't know what self nature is, and then Buddha nature, but you can't abandon it. You're going to be in the midst of doubt. Well, you can't even know or understand what nature itself is, but Buddha-nature, and you can't let it go either. In this respect, it is quite natural that you find yourself in the midst of doubts.

[44:22]

Existentialists always talk about how angst is the kind of heat in every situation. And then it's much more an emphasis on doubt. You present something to yourself that's not resolvable, that you can't accept but you need to accept, and so forth. So that doubt is what makes the whole thing cook. So doubt isn't something in this case you're trying to get rid of. You're trying to Since you can't resolve it, you really amplify the doubt.

[45:24]

That doubt creates a kind of fiery feeling, but also a gentle kind of accepting feeling. Now, here we're talking about working with your practice. Now, some aspects of practice that we recommend are traditional to bring out are really a kind of just common sense. And common sense is adapted to what happens when you meditate. And one of those is that it can prevent you or hinder your meditation, and one of those is traditionally... torpor or stupor.

[46:42]

Or a dullness of mind. And not doing anything about it. So your mind is sometimes just kind of dull. And practice is to notice that dullness and see what you can do about it. And find various remedies. And another is our mind's tendency to be agitated. It jumps around from one thing to the next. And really for no reason except that it tends to jump around. It's not a productive or interesting jumping around. It jumps around. I never mention these things much because I feel this is so obvious and boring.

[48:09]

Then I remind myself, well, the Dalai Lama talked about them at Harvard, so why can't I talk about them here? And I also know that they actually were a kind of encouragement to me in my practice. I also know that they actually were a kind of encouragement to me in my practice. Just to notice, oh, geez, my mind is very dull today. What can I do? This morning, Hermann went jogging and I thought, oh, I should go jogging too.

[49:10]

But I didn't feel I had the time so I decided to create the feeling of jogging. Because I remember what it feels like after jogging and during, so I recreated that memory. And that's, you know, it's not the same as jogging. I haven't lost any weight or anything. What do you say? It's not the real thing. Oh, yes, it is. Whatever happens is the real thing. No. So I didn't lose any weight, I don't think, but I did feel almost as good as if I'd gone jogging. That kind of attitude is, I mean, you can't use that to substitute for zazen too often, but occasionally.

[50:11]

Zazen The idea is to start here and give yourself what you need. And that's the real thing. So that's how you work if your mind is dull. You find a remedy. And even when your mind is quite agitated and you And you finally get to the point where your mind is a lot calmer. Still there'd be a subtle tendency for your mind to be agitated. And then laziness occurs in various forms. You just want to stay in bed.

[51:26]

Or even all day you'd like to stay in bed. And again, you don't make any effort to do anything about it. And another kind of energy, laziness, is to have unexamined attachments. And another form of laziness is self-accusations, making excuses. Und eine andere Form von Faulheit ist also, sich immer zu entschuldigen. Und seine Talente unterzubewerten.

[52:26]

I'm not good enough for this, I'll never learn this, etc. And this just draws the energy right out of you, this kind of self-accusation. These traditionally considered forms of laziness that actually undermine your practice. And another is forgetting the instructions. Your mind is not only dull and lazy, but you even forgot how to, you know, what to do. So I've been in that place many times and I've thought, well, couldn't I remember what Sukhiroshi said, you know? Why can't I remember what Sukhiroshi said? Then I self-accused myself, see, you're just like they say, you're one of these lazy people who forgets the instructions.

[53:39]

Well, even if I am self-accusing, I'll remember the instructions, so then I'll try to practice. And then there's the under, the last of the two of this list is the under-application. What does that mean? There's remedies for things, but you don't use them enough. And the final, of course, is over-application. You're so busy finding remedies and doing things that you never sit calmly. And these last two are quite necessary because they actually mean you have to establish a balance, how often you correct your posture and so forth.

[54:53]

Now I'm telling you things, mentioning these things partly because I want to look at, during this time in Europe, more basics of practice and not get too far out in the koans. But this koan has this whole thing in here, chasing the air, pursuing fragrance, cloud and water travelers. Cloud and water is in Japanese unsui, which means monk, a cloud and water person. Yeah, homeless and free it means, cloud and water, but here it's used negatively.

[56:02]

They chase the air, pursuing fragrance. making excuses and explanations. And this is this kind of things I mentioned just now, the falling into these kind of laziness and so forth. So just practically speaking, common sense, we need certain ways to remind ourselves to practice. Now, one thing a koan is also trying to show us is the, this koan in particular, is the power of mental engagement.

[57:05]

Of bringing your mindfulness and presence into a manifestation-like mood. And that's in a larger context of studying mental events and mental engagement. Now, I suppose it's characteristic of Buddhism to, and it definitely is characteristic of Buddhism, to separate things into parts. To look at each part and then put the parts back together.

[58:22]

So one The power of mental engagement is the power of listening. To be able to embed yourself just in listening without any thoughts or need to do anything and so forth. And this actually can be practiced probably most usefully at first with birds or wind sounds or rain or something. And then sometimes you know, try to listen to a person speaking like myself now, like maybe just hearing the rain or something.

[59:28]

Without any people thoughts, you know, just listening. And another, this power of mental engagement, looking at these basics again, is the power of contemplation. Contemplation. look at something, you know, turning it over in a kind of gentle way. You're not thinking about it so much as you're just kind of looking at it. And a third is the power of mindfulness. That means that in the midst of listening or contemplation, you're also aware of your surroundings.

[60:43]

And you're aware of the flow of memories. And the way we're embedded in remembrance associations. And you know what's going on around you while you're listening or so forth. And it's helpful actually to work on these things separately and then put them together. And similar to the power of mindfulness is the power of, it's called the power of awareness, in this case means to really feel exactly where you are.

[61:46]

It's sort of I'm here and nowhere else. And you just feel very located. And that's part of a power, considered a power of mental engagement, just to feel located. In the midst of listening or contemplating, or being mindful. And then there's the power of one-pointedness, to be able to really settle on something and stay on it.

[62:48]

There's only two more. Next is the power of effort or diligence. Which means in the situation which I've described, where you feel located and present, you can allow effort and energy to come into the situation. You don't hinder that energy. I suppose I learned it best in Sashins. When I sometimes felt, particularly when I had sort of in the early days of tasara, not only do the sesshin but take care of it and take care of sukiyoshi and so forth, I often started a day with wondering if I had even half a candy bar of energy left.

[64:01]

So I would sit and I'd say, well, there must be at least a little bit of half a candy bar left somewhere. So I said, okay, I'm not going to interfere. Wherever it is, please, please, where are you? Come. And suddenly a few molecules of sugar would float into it. Or brightness or something. So similar to that and last is this power of action or manifestation. To not hinder, to freely allow this sense of locatedness and presence and effort to flow into action or a statement or a question.

[65:22]

To flow into Mu or Buddha nature. Just being present. Or sometimes a question comes up. So anyway, that's the sense of developing your mental engagement in various ways, which allow you then to also engage a kolon. Or just to engage the person in front of you or to engage what's going on where you work. So this is again a kind of developed common sense.

[66:33]

Related to the mind that you develop through meditation. So I think maybe we should take a break. This is the bottom. Does anyone have any questions?

[68:06]

Or something like that. Neil? The question that arose this morning with me was, how do I deepen or strengthen my original intention? Because sometimes it feels rather feeble, and I don't think it's a matter of technique or tools. I think partly it is, you know, you see that you feel, you want to say that in Deutsch? Well, I think you see that that's happening, or you know that's true for everyone. And it's helpful to do simple things, like say the bodhisattva vow at the beginning of each period of sasen.

[69:18]

Or find a way, you know, Sometimes redo the four vows and say them differently. Like I say, sentient beings are immeasurable. I vow to be thus. Desires are endless. I vow to empty them. Dharma gates are endless. I vow to enter them. Something like that. I think some of these things like this koan and these vows, all you can do is keep presenting them.

[70:37]

I don't think you can actually deepen them. You can just keep presenting them to yourself in various occasions. And if I had some doubt or lack of resolution, I wouldn't study the vow. I would study my lack of resolution or my doubt. And if I had doubts or a lack of determination, then I would not study these praises, but precisely these doubts. Yes. Could you say something about the meaning of the praises or even about the lie? Can you say something about your vows and the meaning of vows and vowing? Well, to be simple, every thought is a kind of vow.

[71:43]

It's a kind of ascent given to every thought. This is a bell. It's a kind of vow that it's a bell. So thinking becomes a kind of vowing, affirmation process. And the vowing in Buddhism is a kind of antidote to those vows. To see what you want to do in a bigger sense or a deeper sense Make that in your intention in the context of thinking. And the Eightfold Path starts with views, and your views are a kind of vow. So your practice starts with vows, really.

[73:02]

At the root, your practice is embedded in commitment, intention, vows. And I think, as Neil was saying, if those vows aren't complete, it's very hard for your practice to take advantage of subtle opportunities. Yes. I have two questions concerning sitting. The first is quite easy. Is it necessary to hold your eyes open? I used to close my eyes, so I'm not sure about that. The second one is, during sitting it's quite easy a feeling of lightness arises, and I've found that I can enhance it if I concentrate on my chest area.

[74:09]

Is it advisable to just experiment to go deeper into this feeling of lightness, or what would be your advice for this? The first question is quite simple. Do you have to keep your eyes open during meditation? So for me it is more comfortable to close them. The second question is, sitting gives me a relatively light feeling of lightness. I have found out that I can strengthen this by The main teaching in Zen is to keep your eyes slightly open. And the main reason for that is you want a state of mind that's neither sleeping nor ordinary waking, so you use your body to trigger or to

[75:21]

bring yourself into a state that's neither waking nor sleeping. But if you know that, and you can maintain a light, wake feeling, then it's okay to have your eyes closed. Now, with this feeling of lightness in your chest, I would do several things. One, I'd just notice it and clarify it. Two, I'd spread it throughout my body.

[76:28]

Three, in addition to clarifying it, I'd move it to different locations in my body. And four, I'd throw it away. Sometimes one of them, sometimes the other. I find it very difficult to deal with constantly reoccurring sort of underlying states, for example, anxiety. Now, I think there are manifold expressions of it, and even if I were to deal with a particular expression, when this is just an outflow of this underlying state, So I mean, this whole mindfulness practice and all the methods, somehow there's this feeling that it doesn't really respond. Deutsch. That's what I first say first.

[77:34]

I actually haven't figured out how to answer that question. Ruth has asked it too, and several other people have asked, and I'm wondering about it. And it came up in the Castle seminar because some of the psychotherapists are, because anxiety is so common in the practice of psychotherapy. In other words, I can say things about it, but I haven't, There's some dynamic involved I haven't put my finger on. I can say that fear is pretty useful. It's a kind of energy. And the main thing is, you know, the important thing in anger and fear and so forth is that it doesn't shape our life or create the direction of our life.

[79:32]

And... Because fear is a kind of energy, and anger is an energy too, but it's also a way of communicating. But you don't want it to shape or direct your life. When I first started practicing, I practiced two ways with fear. One way was to keep turning toward it. So I was overwhelmed, but I went toward it as much as I could.

[80:33]

I always moved toward it, but not necessarily to the point of being overwhelmed. Whenever I felt fear as a kind of mental flavor or about something, I taught myself to move toward it. And in several key points I taught myself to stay in the middle of it, amplify it, overwhelm by it, and stay in the middle of it until it disappeared. But I don't know if this is just practical. I don't know if it really gets to the heart of the matter.

[81:35]

In Buddhism, fear is thought to arise from two main sources. One is the fear of death. And the fear of everything disappearing and you disappearing and all the ways that comes up. And the other is the fear of everything appearing, of objects and stuff and too much and, you know, you can't handle it. And the fear of the removal of thought coverings. That's in the Diamond Sutra.

[82:47]

I mean the Heart Sutra and the Diamond Sutra. Now there's also the practical list of five fears, which I think Randy mentioned in the Sashin. One is the fear of loss of livelihood. And you work with that one. Another is the fear of loss of reputation. And next is the fear of death. Next is the fear of unusual states of mind. which is particular to meditation, fear of certain states of mind in meditation. But also the fear of death, in fact, is the fear of an unusual state of mind. A fear of a state of mind in which we have no control.

[83:47]

Because when you're dying, you can't call up your college instructor and advisor and ask for a change of course. That's the moment when you're most completely out of control, not able to control. But you can be in control or located and present in what's happening. And it's a good practice in letting go of your exhales and it's also a good practice in finding yourself stable in unusual states of mind and zazen. And finally is the fear of speaking before an assembly.

[85:08]

Which really means the fear of just presenting yourself and taking the consequences. Or the fear of speaking out in your society for or against something. But it's interesting because in practice there is an emphasis that realization and fearlessness are virtually identical.

[86:10]

But I don't want to take fear away from you because you may like it. But I don't want to take away your fear, because you may be dependent on it. Yes. When it comes to fear, I would like to know something, because my feeling in life has always been that I don't have any particular fear, for example, when I go alone on the street in the evening or at night, or when I go through the forest and am alone and have any fears, then it was always my intention to keep them as low as possible in order not to attract anything. We have talked about it more often at the seminars, to have the feeling of going in, and of course I am afraid of that, because I always think that I will attract a big wild boar or something like that.

[87:20]

Well, I would like to add something. When I feel a certain fear, like when I walk in the street in the middle of the night by myself, I feel a certain fear coming, but I also know through feeling this fear I might attract something unpleasant. So I try to keep the fear as little as possible. This practice you recommend to go toward the fear, to increase the fear. I mean, how does this relate to my experience that I attract certain things I fear through the act of being fearful? This is a good example of under-application and over-application. I'm speaking about facing just the sensation of fear. If you're walking on the street, you need a certain skillful means. I mean, I know, I feel that on the one hand I don't care what happens, fine, whatever, you know. I've lived long enough.

[88:49]

But also I'm cautious and you don't want fear to affect your behavior. They showed pictures of people walking to muggers and various criminals from different prisons. And they showed both men and women and almost always the mugger types would always choose the same person to mug and they wouldn't choose the other person. They didn't do this, I'm quite sure, with these muggers on heroin or something, which may change the picture.

[90:04]

But generally people who had normal strides, physical confidence, they wouldn't mess with. What do you mean on heroin? if they didn't shoot these people up with drugs and then see who they'd mugged, because that changes the picture a lot. Because I've met people in San Francisco. We lived in a very dangerous neighborhood. I've met people who there's nothing you can do. They're just somewhere else. The normal criminal who has his own or her own fear will not mug somebody who usually has a certain physical presence and confidence. So I'm just agreeing with you.

[91:05]

Something else? Yeah. I have a question to the Koran. There's a sentence I was saying. Someone who has clear eyes has no nest. Is that right? Yeah, there's this one sentence. Someone who has clear eyes has no nest. Someone who has clear eyes has no nest. It means they have no place that they reside that they need to protect. We tend to identify ourselves with a particular psychic and physical location in mind and body.

[92:33]

And we substantiate the world outside and inside. But if you really examine the world outside, you find objects are unfindable. And we've gone into that, but there's neither the sum of their parts. They're not the shape of their parts. They're not inside their parts. And so forth. So when you practice something like that, you begin to see that you give the reality to things.

[93:39]

And likewise, when you look inside, you see how you give reality to things. And practicing shamatha, vipassana and bringing them together, you begin to, the fruit of that is that you have a sense of clarity. Now, how can I express that? I would say that there's emptiness. And there's a sense of emptiness that arises from unfindability. And that unfindability isn't experienced as emptiness so much as clarity.

[94:48]

And you begin to feel an uninterrupted flow of clarity. Again, it's a little bit like you see, as I've said several times recently, you see the leaves moving, but seeing the leaves moving, you see the mind that allows you to see the leaves moving. And the more you see the mind, the still mind that allows the leaves to move, you can move your sense of location into that still mind. or into the uninterrupted flow of clarity out of which things appear.

[96:05]

So the mind, this kind of mind, this unfindability is experienced as clarity and readiness. And when you're residing in clarity and readiness, it's said you have no nest. Is that clearer? It's hard. I mean, when Christian was translating this, he came to me and we said, what in German should be nest and so forth. It's hard to make these simple things clear. But you know, the more you reside in normal, our normal mind is the ingredients in the kitchen are running around after each other, the cook, the food.

[97:16]

The carrots are chasing the tomatoes which are chasing the potato flakes. And nothing gets in the pot.

[97:21]

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