I actually don't read a lot of Zen literature, I have to admit, but there is one book that I read over and over again and that I rediscover over and over again, and that is that of Suzuki Roshi, Zen spirit, beginner spirit. And the longer I practice Zen, the more there is to discover and certainly to understand. And that's amazing. He taught in the Page Street Zen Center, in San Francisco, in the middle of the city. But once a week he went to Los Altos and held a lecture there in a garage in the 60s. So certainly a bit on Zen, but in the end it was just a garage where he held these lectures and that's how this book came about. And in some chapter, Suzuki Roshi says, you must understand one thing, to develop your own spirit.

[01:11]

And it is not possible to search for something outside of yourself. And that is a very important point. And that is the only way to practice Zen, to develop your own mind. And if you really don't take much with you from here and our the sutra recitation, the sendo, the deviations, the rejections. Maybe you don't want to take that with you and it is certainly difficult to transfer this whole practice to everyday life. But when it is said to develop your own mind, that is a task where you can say, yes, I can definitely take that with me.

[02:22]

And that is also the only way to practice Zen. And there is certainly, if you go a little deeper into the teaching, also as Bekaroshi teaches us, there are points of reference or tools with which you can, so to speak, develop your own spirit. One of the first Zen books I read was Gerda Ital. She wrote about her experiences in Japan as one of the first women, certainly western women, who were allowed in a Rinzai monastery and were allowed to practice with the monks there. It was written like this, Zen means to grind the spirit.

[03:27]

But you really have to know that it came from a Prussian soldier tradition and there is grinding. We say develop, but as always. As always. The tool. I mean, that was also the subject of Roshi's lectures. What is this spirit? No one can sit down or stand up and say, here, that's him, now I have found him, it, you or whatever. But a great help for me has been this idea that the spirit is not a unity, but an activity. If you work with this idea that the spirit is an activity, then

[04:27]

you can imagine, or you get your own confidence, that you can do something, that you can become active, that you must be active, and that you can also give this activity a certain direction to develop this spirit. And the activities, or the activity in which you can develop your spirit or with which you can give the spirit a direction, that is certainly what one can study in such a practice community, in such a practice week, practice month, yes. Thinking is certainly what we give our mind to activity on a daily basis, and it is an ability of the mind to think of a possible activity of the mind in one direction.

[05:56]

We can think in all possible directions, cross and cross and up and down, but ultimately one can consider thinking as an activity of the mind. And then there is also the ability of the mind to observe, to observe the breath, to observe the thinking, or also the ability to observe oneself, or to observe the spirit itself. And also this observation is ultimately an activity. And especially when one can observe the breath and can keep this observation, so to speak, something like a holding observer, then even that is an activity of the spirit.

[07:14]

And then it is also an activity of the spirit when we accept. This accepting attitude of the spirit is also an activity with which we with which we clearly give the mind a possible direction. And accepting that, everyone can experience, is almost like the one-in-one. The activity of accepting gives the mind a completely different direction than the activity of choosing something and wanting to have it and not wanting to have it. To see this in a completely neutral way, this is also a possible activity of the mind, but an activity that goes in a completely different direction than an activity, so to speak, only to accept whatever comes.

[08:28]

Und was immer du an möglichen Aktivitäten dieser Liste hinzufügen kannst, das heißt nichts anderes als beobachten und erkennen, das heißt den Geist entwickeln. And there is another framework that offers us the practice, the teaching. And this is not just a teaching from Buddhism. I am currently reading a book by a Hindu who lived at the beginning of the last century. The Conversations of the Wise Man from the Mountain. Arana Shula, and he also talks a lot about the three possible states of the spirit, a spirit in awake consciousness, a spirit in deep sleep, and a state of the spirit in dreams.

[09:39]

And it is certainly very characteristic for this... This fly is annoying, but now anyway. Yes, I don't know which activity I should give this fly, but at best a flying clap. It is certainly characteristic for a practice week that... that we are simply torn out of an activity that takes place here in the house all the time and suddenly stand here in the service and stand still for a moment in front of our folding mats and then recite a sutra, bend over or be torn out of the total activity and suddenly sit here on our pillow. And that certainly makes the zazen, when it arises from such a full activity, certainly a different zazen than, for example, the morning zazen.

[11:01]

And yesterday in our group, and it was probably also mentioned in other groups, we had this observation of how the spirit, so to speak, passes from one activity or from one state of the spirit into another, namely the observation of falling asleep. and this is a little bit like falling backwards from the waking consciousness into the sleeping mind or into the state of mind that is slowly preparing for sleep and then maybe going into a dream or into a deep sleep. And a second and another quality that you can observe in the zen is this quality of the zazen in the morning when you come out of sleep, from a dream phase or from a deep sleep and then sit on the cushion and then practically wake up from this

[12:20]

from a dreaming spirit, from a deep-sleeping spirit, into the awake spirit, or maybe you can say it like that, into a zazen spirit. And I once did a long period of dream work, and that's certainly not a concern in the sense but still it is a A wonderful zazen is when you can take a dream with you on the pillow. We don't analyze the dream and we don't think about what it is, what it means, why and why. But we can give this dream spirit or this spirit in this dreaming state further space. and so then recognize the transitions from this state of mind in the dream, which is still very alive, the dream is still very alive in one, and so slowly it goes during the sasen, there come the bells and you smell the smoking, then it goes so slowly into the sasen spirit.

[13:45]

And one An essential part of the dream work was to program oneself, to wake up after a dream, even in the middle of the night, and then write down the dream. and then falls asleep again, and you can do that so far that you enter the same dream again and then even dream a little consciously and lucidly. That means you can influence the dream event a little bit yourself, or you are aware that you are in a world where you can do something and not just something that happens. And one big important thing is that when you program yourself, it's not so difficult, it went pretty fast, I learned that, but that you don't get up and say, now I have to set up the dream, and then you go to your desk and look for a blog and something like that, but it should all really be like that somewhere, that it's like that with one handle and a big pen and a big map, and that you can write half asleep and then drop it again.

[14:56]

I once completely covered my bedsheets with felt pens, because I really fell asleep again and had to do that, because then everything was no longer to get out, the whole color. But that's about it. You can also move in the morning and that's why it's so important to stay in this silent spirit in the morning and almost go a bit like in a time loop. Because the slower you go, the more consciously And also this bending and also drinking a tea or a coffee, that can all be added, but really like moving a bit in time. The quieter you are, the more consciously you do it, the more you can still take this deep sleep or this dreaming spirit with you and slowly recognize these barriers or this overclothing in waking up. It is a completely different quality.

[15:58]

I have already done that. There is certainly no such thing as this is better or something like that. No judgment. But I have been sitting with a Korean for a long time and they get up in the morning and immediately do 108 full drops in full rhythm. Like with our bell. And there is nothing more with still dreaming and still a little bit nice there. then you are suddenly awake. And then it goes on the pillow to the zazen. It's just a different quality. And we also experience this more often here. Some of them want to wake up in the morning. That's totally okay. And they run up and down the yard three times. But it certainly makes a different quality of the zenz. There is another choir.

[17:19]

that follows this theme of the capable monks and then one says, too busy or you are really busy and then he says, but you should know that there is someone who is not busy. This is a koan from another koan collection, from the Mumon Khan, number 29. We have three large koan collections. This is the book of the Smaragdene Felswand, the book of the Heiteren Gelassenheit and this Mumon Khan. It is a koan with the sixth patriarch. And there they argue. A flag blows in the wind. Back then, every time the master gave a lecture, a flag was pulled up and hoisted.

[18:33]

I am glad that we still have to take over this tradition. And this flag then blows in the wind, as anyone can imagine. And two monks argue and one says, the wind is moving. And the other one says, no, the flag is moving. And that's such a debate, you can certainly end it. It's very much about thinking, and the more you think about it, the more difficult it becomes to say, yes, what's moving now? Without wind, the flag won't move, but without a flag, the flag won't move either, or something like that. So it means in the further commentary on this choir, the two have clearly lost the anchoring of their spirit and the spirit is running hot, so to speak.

[19:39]

This is like a question that was once asked in questons in a shuso ceremony, which is always like that in spring when the snow melts. And someone asked the question, when the snow melts, what happens to the white color? I mean, philosophically it may be very interesting, but where does it lead to? Ultimately, if you imagine it like that, thinking about it, it leads somewhere to the fact that the spirit, so certainly a very clear activity, you can feel it very well there, but that's an activity where the spirit runs a bit hot. And also in Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind, it is said that if a tree falls down somewhere and there is no one there who hears it, it makes a noise.

[20:44]

Then I would say, if you don't have any other problems with me, then you will be fine in this life. And that's how you can argue about whether the wind is blowing, whether the flag is moving, whether the flag is moving or whether the wind is moving. And the sixth patriarch then gets this argument and the monks who are heating up there in this argument with and says, it is neither the flag that is moving, nor is it the wind that is moving, it is your spirit that is moving. And that is certainly... A very good starting point, because it makes a pretty radical way, if you look at this commentary of the sixth patriarch,

[21:50]

if you practice this, then you will definitely change the direction of your gaze or the orientation, the activity of your mind radically. It is no longer about a flag that flutters up there on the mast or about the wind, but it is turned around, the activity goes inward, and then it is said, yes, in there, There it is the spirit that moves. And we have in the last weeks and weeks certainly many possibilities to practice this. If here at noon or in the morning or in the evening ten hungry children storm to eat, then we can also sit in here, or you can argue with yourself, are these the children who are moving now, or are the beams moving, or what is moving?

[23:07]

and then you are with your activity outside, somewhere where there is always something going on in the house, or is it my spirit that is moving? And this spirit who is moving, and then there is another commentary in this koan, there is a nun who lived nearby, had her own temple, that's how it stands at the moment, and she heard about this discussion, And then she says, it is not the spirit that is moving, it is not the flag that is moving, and it is not the wind that is moving. The question is, what is it, when we think of this still spirit, of the non-moving spirit,

[24:21]

How can you do this as an activity? There is a non-moving spirit, but nevertheless it is called, the spirit is not something like a unity, that is, you do not capsule yourself off like that, And it is not about us saying here, close the door, close the windows, close everything so that we can calm our mind. Sometimes this is certainly very helpful and important, but it is about an activity of the mind in, about a into this, into this peace or into this silence, and yet one speaks of an activity of the spirit.

[25:26]

And how can you actively keep this peace? How can you direct the spirit in this direction, into this activity? And you can ask yourself, for example, and this is also a tool that we are very often offered by Roshi, you can ask in this spirit, who is this here on the pillow? And in the who is this here on the pillow, You can answer that this is the one who has just hurried to be on time in the broadcast.

[26:32]

This is the one who has just heard the horn or the board or the bell outside somewhere and then had to hurry to get here. And I still feel almost the shortness of breath. But you can also ask yourself, what is it that sits here on the pillow? And that takes you out of this story, which was just there. And there is still the short breath. but then there is only the observation that there is a shortness of breath, or there is still some activity in this body, which I can explain with the who, because I have just done this and this and this, but the what simply only takes this activity, the short breath, and the excitement,

[27:42]

in the body. And that would be, that is maybe the one who heard the second roll-down and says, now it's time to come to the broadcast. And the what is then suddenly only this sound of the bell. Or suddenly you only smell the smoke stick that burns down there. And in this into this active holding of a calm mind. In this silence, it is almost as if it is not the evaporation.

[28:47]

We do not seal our sense organs, just as little as we seal this sendo here. so that no noise can enter. And when we sit here sometimes and ask ourselves what is moving to come back to the choir, are it the children, are it the beams, are it the cows from the neighbor? Sometimes we can even ask ourselves in this bright house, is there anything that is not moving at all? And then you can say, yes, I, at the moment, on my pillow, I do not move. And that is another teaching or craftsmanship or a possibility where you can direct your activity and your attention in the

[29:53]

experience of your mind. That is, every spiritual state also has a physical component. And vice versa, of course, every physical activity and physical This feeling can also serve you to maintain a spiritual state. And you can do that very easily. And even if your body is still excited, if there is still a lot of, who is that here, in resonance, because the children and here and you would have and it's not too loud. And you can anchor this who-spirit, so to speak,

[30:59]

And if you can't do anything else than just keep your hands still in this mudra, and they say that this posture is like holding the spirit, the sasen spirit, then you can take this anchoring or this holding of the hands in this particular posture as an anchor, and you can connect this anchor with the perhaps still aroused spirit that is still hovering around and is still much more in the who than in the what. And you can take a breath and the breath Also there you can take a breath that has not yet calmed down and the breath that does not yet go quite evenly and whatever your breath is right now.

[32:20]

And then you can add a war story, which is certainly ready for you. I am this and that and I notice that now in my breath. But you can also In observing this breath, and this is one of the first instructions that the practitioners received, if the breath is short, then simply notice or say, this is a short breath. And that takes you out of this war story and you're suddenly in this what. What is that? Then it's a short breath or a long breath or an uneven breath or sometimes short or sometimes long, whatever. But your activity of the mind clearly takes a different direction. It is a direction into you.

[33:21]

Only there do you find your breath. Only in you do you find your spine. You can also keep this what, this spirit, in your spine. This what-spirit, what is that? And that is certainly something different than the spirit so to speak, or this idea of letting the mind be silent, I can only do that if I switch off some things. That is certainly part of it and it is important that you can do that, but in this silent mind

[34:21]

It's almost like a bridge to the silence out there. But it's not just like a bridge to the silence out there, it's also a bridge to the to the silence of the house and to the silence of the garden and to the silence of the children. And whatever is loud, out of this silent spirit you also connect with the possible silence or with the potential of the silence of your environment. And it is not only And it does not only work when you say, or it does not work when you say, but I just want to connect with the silence. At the same time, it is a connection and a bridge to the fullness out there.

[35:40]

And the abundance out there, that means that you really don't need any filters anymore. This and this and this, then my mind becomes calm. If you connect yourself with the abundance out there and also with the silence in this abundance, then you develop this indescribable mind. who sits in the middle, in his own silence, in his own fullness, but also at the same time in connection with the silence out there and with the fullness and with everything that happens out there. And that is also So it goes on in the choir with the fervent monks, Dao Wu and Yun Yan, when he then says, but you should know that there is someone who is not busy.

[37:06]

That would be something to say, but there is this silence. Someone who is not busy is busy. And then the other one says, aha, there is a double moon. What does that mean? That means there is once this silence and there is this abundance. Just like when we see the moon, sometimes you see a stag and in the stag you can also see the remains of the full moon. And so it is that in this silence, in the fullness, in the fullness is the silence and vice versa, in this silence you can also simply keep the fullness in your mind and it does not bother you. And who then? If you then go one step further, these are ultimately nice comparisons and categories.

[38:20]

There is a full moon in the Sichel and in the full moon is the Sichel. And then a monk holds up a broom and says, what kind of moon is that? And now it's going in a direction where you basically can't say anymore, where it goes to a spirit that you can't name and can't describe, but to a spirit that you might or just as he holds the broom up there, without saying that it is a broom, or a spirit that simply is an activity of the spirit, which you can no longer call yourself, which you can simply only hold.

[39:28]

And in this activity, if you can keep this spirit, then the fullness is just as welcome as the silence, yes, without preferences, because this is a spirit that takes another step retreat and take another step away from oneself or into holding on to oneself, only holding on to oneself without any category of being full and still and quiet and whatever spirit.

[40:35]

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