Schönen guten Abend. On a night when conditions are just right. An einem Abend oder in einer Nacht, wenn die Bedingungen gerade richtig sind. Can you hear me okay? Könnt ihr mich aufhören? On a night when conditions are just right. In einer Nacht, wenn die Bedingungen gerade richtig sind. A white bull steps shining into the world. Tritt ein weißer Ochse strahlend in die Welt. Tonight is such a night. Heute Abend oder heute Nacht ist so eine Nacht. When conditions are just right.

[01:03]

Wenn die Umstände gerade richtig sind. When are conditions just right? Wann sind die Umstände gerade richtig? When are things just right for each of us? Wann sind die Umstände, die Bedingungen gerade richtig für jeden und jeder Einzelne von uns? How often do we feel something is missing? Wie häufig haben wir das Gefühl, dass etwas fehlt? Some longing. Eine Sehnsucht. Some hope. Oder eine Hoffnung. Maybe some lingering regret. Oder vielleicht ein noch verweilendes Bedauern. When conditions are just right. Wenn die Bedingungen gerade richtig sind. A white bull. A white bull is an adept.

[02:15]

It's the mind of an adept. Und dieser weiße Ochse steht für den Geist eines fortgeschrittenen Praktizierenden. And more fundamentally, it's the mind that we're generating together in this moment. Und noch grundlegender ist das der Geist, den wir in genau diesem Moment hervorbringen. Stepping, shining into the world means without some hindrance, without some impediment. Und strahlend in die Welt zu treten bedeutet ohne irgendwelche Hindernisse, ohne irgendetwas, was uns hält. And tonight is such a night. Und heute Nacht ist so eine Nacht. Some of you are new to Johanneshof. Einige von euch sind zum ersten Mal in Johanneshof. And you may have come with many ideas about what it was going to be like. Und vielleicht seid ihr hier mit vielen Vorstellungen davon angereist, wie das wird.

[03:18]

Some hopes, some expectations. Ein paar Hoffnungen oder ein paar Erwartungen. Some trepidation. Oder ein paar, wo ihr zögert. And these beliefs and hopes and fears shape how we come together here. Und diese Glaubenssätze oder Hoffnungen, die prägen die Formen, wie wir uns hier begegnen. And expectations are not a bad thing. Und Erwartungen sind nichts Schlechtes. It's natural that we expect something. If we didn't, we wouldn't have made the effort to come here. Es ist normal, dass wir etwas erwarten. Und wenn wir nichts erwarten würden, dann hätten wir gar nicht die Bemühungen unternommen, hierher zu kommen. But it's important to not let those expectations get in the way of being here now. Aber es ist wichtig, nicht zuzulassen, dass diese Erwartungen uns im Wege stehen, jetzt hier zu sein.

[04:26]

When conditions are just right, we don't allow ideas that we may have of a situation. Wenn die Bedingungen gerade richtig sind, dann lassen wir nicht zu, dass Umstände, Vorstellungen, die wir von einer Situation haben, to get in between us and our experience. dass diese Vorstellungen zwischen uns und unserer Erfahrung treten. We take off our pink sunglasses. Dann nehmen wir unsere pinke Sonnenbrille ab. We sit up, looking straight ahead at the wall in front of us. Dann setzen wir uns aufrecht hin und schauen direkt auf die Wand, die direkt vor uns ist. We take our hands off the dials, trying to get things just right. Wir nehmen unsere Hände dann von den Stellschrauben weg, mit denen wir versuchen, die Dinge genau richtig zu machen. For the mind of our many minds that come together and are woven together.

[05:30]

So dass der Geist von all unseren vielen Geisteszuständen oder Geisten heraufbeschwört wird, indem wir die Dinge miteinander verweben. And as we're able not to separate ourselves from the experience that we're having. Und je mehr wir in der Lage sind, uns nicht von unserer Erfahrung, von der Erfahrung, die wir haben, zu trennen. Both individually and together. Sowohl für uns selbst als auch miteinander. Something quite unexpected may step forward. Da kann es passieren, dass etwas ganz Unerwartetes zum Vorschein kommt. A mind which we don't know. Ein Geist, den wir nicht kennen. A mind which we can't imagine. Ein Geist, den wir uns nicht vorstellen können. A mind which is deeply satisfying.

[06:32]

Ein Geist, der zutiefst zufriedenstellend ist. And that we may share with one another in this moment here. Und den wir vielleicht in diesem Moment miteinander teilen. So if someone was to ask you, have you experienced the best moment of your life yet? Und wenn dir jemand die Frage stellen würde, hast du schon den besten Moment deines Lebens erlebt? Many people would say, well, you know, when this happens and I see my children are doing okay, or my health gets better, my finances are worked out, my careers, and all these things. Then that's going to be the best time of my life. Dann würden die meisten von uns sagen, naja, also erst mal, wenn es meinen Kindern gut geht und meine Gesundheit besser wird, und wenn meine Finanzen da endlich alles gut läuft, und so weiter, wenn all diese Umstände zusammenkommen, dann wird das der beste Moment meines Lebens sein.

[07:34]

But practice is about making this moment, just each moment, the best moment of our life. Aber in der Praxis geht es darum, diesen Moment, genau diesen Augenblick, zum besten Moment unseres Lebens zu machen. Tonight is such a night. Heute Nacht ist so eine Nacht. Why wait for another moment to be the best moment of our lives? Warum sollten wir auf irgendeinen anderen Augenblick warten, in der Hoffnung, dass dieser Augenblick zum besten Moment unseres Lebens wird? Dogen Zenji says, when you hear or see your true teaching, Dogen Zenji sagt, wenn du deine wahre Lehre siehst oder hörst, he says, don't fail to practice it, dann verpasse es nicht, sie zu praktizieren.

[08:44]

When you feel the truth of something, a shining unexpected white ball in the middle of your life, wenn du die Wahrheit von etwas spürst, vielleicht wie ein strahlender weißer Ochse mitten in deinem Leben, don't put it on your to-do list for next Tuesday, dann schreib das nicht auf deine To-do Liste für nächsten Dienstag. Don't wait. Some of you know, this summer I became seriously ill. Einige von euch wissen, dass ich diesen Sommer ernsthaft krank wurde. I didn't know how sick I was. Und mir war gar nicht klar, wie krank ich dann war. But when I was in the hospital, they put me in the intensive care part of the hospital. Aber als ich im Krankenhaus ankam, haben sie mich auf die Intensivstation verlegt. And they came and checked on me like every 15 minutes. But I wanted to know, will you give me some medication or injections or something?

[09:46]

Tell me what's going on. Und sie kamen alle 15 Minuten herein und haben nach mir geschaut. Und ich wollte aber wissen, ob sie mir Medizin oder irgendwelche Spritzen geben würden. Ich wollte irgendwas wissen, was sie mir geben. And the nurse pointed and there was a big sack of medication, like enough for a horse. And she said, oh, that's your medication and you're getting it all the time. Und da hat eine Krankenschwester zu mir gesagt, sie hat auf so einen riesigen Sack gezeigt, der so groß war, als ob das für ein Pferd bestimmt war. Dann hat sie gesagt, das ist deine Medizin und die kriegst du schon die ganze Zeit. And I got better. Und dann ging es mir besser. And then I had to go back to the hospital. Und dann musste ich wieder zurück ins Krankenhaus. And maybe you know, and I expect they do this in Germany too, in America they come in all the time

[10:47]

and they say from one to ten, how do you feel? Und ich sage, vielleicht machen die das in Deutschland auch, aber in Amerika kommen die ständig in den Raum hinein und fragen dann auf einer Skala von eins bis zehn, wie geht es dir? So I would tell them I felt about 1.25 usually. This is how I felt. Und dann habe ich denen gesagt, also mir geht es ungefähr 1,25, normalerweise, so ungefähr geht es mir. And I said, but my spirit was somewhere between 475. Habe ich gesagt, aber mein spirit, dem geht es ungefähr so zwischen 475 und 500. Because I knew I couldn't wait. Weil ich wusste, dass ich nicht warten kann. I couldn't wait for circumstances to be perfect for me to feel okay. Ich konnte nicht darauf warten, dass die Umstände richtig werden, damit es mir besser geht.

[11:48]

I couldn't wait to see the white bull when I got back home to my city place and I offered incense and I made a vow. I didn't want to wait. Embracing my difficulty was the place where my life was perfect. Meine Schwierigkeiten zu umarmen, das war der Ort, an dem mein Leben vollkommen war. Where the conditions were just right for me to practice. Wo die Umstände genau richtig waren für mich zum Praktizieren. I'm not saying we all need to get seriously ill to practice. Ich meine damit nicht,

[12:50]

dass wir alle ernsthaft krank werden müssen, um praktizieren zu können. I'm saying don't wait. I'm saying find in the conditions in which we are right now together that just right, that tonight is just the right night. Ich sage, finde genau in diesen Umständen, in denen wir jetzt alle miteinander sind, dieses genau Richtige, dieses, wo heute Nacht diese Nacht ist. And it means in the details of our life, not the things that are supposed to be special or spiritual or deep or relevant. Und das bedeutet auch in den Einzelheiten unseres Lebens, in den Details, nicht in den Dingen, die angeblich so was Besonderes sind oder spirituell oder irgendwas. So two mornings ago, vor zwei Morgenen, I leave my room to come to the Zen Room.

[13:52]

Da bin ich aus meinem Zimmer gekommen, um rüberzugehen zum Zen Room. And I know exactly how long it takes. Und ich weiß ganz genau, wie lange ich dafür brauche. So I leave my room right just before, five minutes of, so I have just the right amount of time to walk to the Zen Room. Und dann verlasse ich mein Zimmer genau fünf Minuten vor der Zazenzeit, und dann habe ich genau die richtige Zeitspanne, um hier rüberzukommen. And I met Frieder at the bottom of the stairs and he was there alone. Da bin ich Frieder unten an der Treppe begegnet und er war dort allein. So my morning changed. Und dann hat sich mein Morgen verändert. I'm not going to be on time. Da war klar, dass ich nicht mehr pünktlich komme. And Frieder and I took one and we locked each other's arms. We took one another's arms. Und Frieder und ich haben uns am Arm gehalten. And I described as best I could the sky to Frieder

[14:55]

as we were walking. Gut, ich konnte, habe ich Frieder den Himmel beschrieben, während wir dort langgegangen sind. And if somebody says, why did you go from California all the way to Johanneshof? Wenn mich jemand fragt, warum bist du aus Kalifornien, warum hast du diesen weiten Weg zum Johanneshof zurückgelegt? I could say, so I walked arm in arm with Frieder in the early morning darkness together. Da könnte ich sagen, damit ich Arm in Arm mit Frieder in der Dunkelheit des frühen Morgens gehen kann. Frieder allowing me, excuse me for talking about you, Frieder allowing me into his life, allowing me to make this moment of intimacy, a moment out of time,

[16:04]

a moment that was complete in itself. And we could walk, we didn't have to talk. Just arm in arm, feeling this presence of a white bull stepping, shining into our path with us together. Einfach Arm in Arm gehend und die Präsenz von so einem weißen Ochsen zu spüren, der strahlend in unser gemeinsames Leben hineingetreten ist. To recognize the possibilities that are present for us in each moment. Die Möglichkeiten zu erkennen, die für uns in jedem Moment gegeben sind.

[17:12]

In der Praxis sprechen wir manchmal über vier Dinge, die möglich sind und die in unserer Praxis wertgeschätzt werden. Das Erste ist, dass wir unsere Natur verwirklichen können, dass wir ein Buddha werden können. Und wenn ich über Buddha spreche, für mich bedeutet Buddha die am tiefsten zufriedenstellendste Art, das ist die Art von Mensch, von der wir hoffen, dass wir dieser Mensch werden können. Von dem wir alle hoffen, dass wir ihm oder ihr begegnen können.

[18:25]

Ich hatte mal die Gelegenheit, Mutter Teresa zu treffen. I was working in an office, she came to my office. And there were twelve of us. And she came, she had a bevy of nuns with these, they looked like white geese floating into our office with these white habits. And they knew exactly, they had done this scores of times before, they lined us up. And she came to each of us and she had a very small golden medallion of the Virgin Mary.

[19:32]

And she put it in my hand and held my hands. And I had a feeling I was the only person in the world when she did this. And I was told later she had a practice. And the practice was to treat everyone she met as the Christ. And a number of years later, and I know it was influenced by this experience, I began to ask myself when I met people, what would it be like if I treated everyone I met

[20:44]

as though they were Suzuki Roshi, my first teacher? And I didn't do this practice every time I met someone. But quite often almost. And after about a year and a half, I realized I had a chance everybody I met to see Suzuki Roshi. Not something far away. An intimate space created in this possibility of meeting.

[21:48]

What would it be like if we treated one another, each thing we did in such a way? Why wait? Why wait? So we have many ritual practices here. And I like very much to watch the person who hasn't been here. Because it helps me see something I don't know. But the feeling of each of these practices, however esoteric or not understandable they are,

[22:58]

is a possibility to meet ourselves outside of our story. Outside of our beliefs and views and expectations. And the bow that we do, this full prostration, in Japanese it's called Gotai Toshi. And it means to set aside the self into wholeness. It means to not allow ourselves to get in between ourselves and our wholeheartedness. And my feeling of when I would bow with Suzuki Roshi,

[24:18]

and my feeling was I didn't bow to him. My feeling was I bowed with him. We made some space and stepped out of time. The kind of space where white bulls roam around. This is meaning outside our story. Setting aside the self into wholeheartedness. So that simply walking from one building to the next

[25:25]

can be one of the most important moments of our life. And that each moment has that possibility. So for those of you that are going to participate this weekend in a seminar which we have, the title is called Unlearning How to Learn. Because usually we think learning, we're going to get something. And we have a particular idea about what that may be. And then we usually feel we were successful or not in learning what we wanted to learn.

[26:25]

And that's quite understandable. That's how we usually understand learning. But the kind of why I call it unlearning is it's learning without a certain end point. Without a particular goal or outcome. It's learning how each moment is perfect in itself without us doing anything. What kind of learning is that? How do we enter such a space?

[27:35]

So there are three practices I would like you to consider. And even if you're not doing the seminar this weekend it's okay to consider them. Usually when we bring our attention to something it's an object of the attention. Bring my attention to a part of my body. An object. Internal sensation or feeling. A thought. But we can also be aware of the process of awareness.

[28:42]

So we unhook the awareness from the object. And we place our attention on the process of being aware. This is the process of our life as an activity. We're not a thing or an idea. We're continually appearing mysteriously, miraculously, as a white ball stepping into the world. Awareness of activity.

[29:51]

Of awareness, which is an activity. Awareness of awareness, which is an activity. Then there's awareness of discontinuity. It's awareness of change. It's awareness of change. There's a traditional teaching in Buddhism. Everything changes. But I mean, is this really true? Since we came in the room, has the floor really changed? But the second we bring our awareness to it, our awareness changes it. So for me, this awareness of discontinuity

[31:04]

is an awareness of everything continually coming forward and changing. And arising in our experience. And arising in our experience. And the third is awareness of space. And the third is awareness of space. One of the tangible experiences of space is how much we seemingly stand around. Beginning of service, end of service. Beginning of a meal during the work meeting.

[32:12]

It means that we're embodying a pause, making space in what seems to be a continuous flow of activity. This is space for the world to come forward into our experience. It's the ceremony of breath. Breathing the world in. Mixing the world with the presence and awareness that we reside in in that moment. And then returning that

[33:32]

to the one that doesn't own it. Making more space for, as long as we're alive, the next breath. And it makes a space for us to ripen our intentions. So I mentioned one, becoming the kind of person we always hoped we could be. There are four. So the second is that we can put an end to our mental and emotional suffering. It's possible. It's possible.

[34:33]

I've given up trying to put an end to my physical suffering. I'm okay if I'm a one and a half or a one and a quarter. It's okay for me if I'm a one and a half. My pain from one to ten. Sometimes that's true. But I can also be a 475 to a 500. The third is that we can see things clearly. That we can see when we have an expectation or a hope or a belief that limits us. And we don't allow it to define

[35:51]

who we take ourselves to be. It's like a familiar old friend, a habit, we just don't spend much time with anymore. Oh, I know that person. I have some fondness for that person. But I don't need to let them tell me who I am. And the fourth is that we can be of benefit to others. To benefit to ourselves, to one another, to all being and things. In some way these four,

[37:02]

being the person we wanted to be, putting an end to suffering, seeing clearly, being a benefit to all being, are all part of the same thing. But we may pick a particular person to focus on. And in the midst of our story that we tell ourselves, to include this other story too. That we can be this kind of person,

[38:04]

living this kind of life with everyone. Shifting our attention to our awareness from our ideas or our thinking. That can profoundly change how we treat ourselves, each other and the world. When we fall in love, it's not just about the person we love. The orange juice tastes different when we're in love.

[39:07]

Changing how we define ourselves can change us profoundly, independent of the outside circumstances. We don't have to wait to fall in love. We can be complete in just each moment. Tonight's the night. We don't have to wait. Thank you very much. I appreciate this time together. Matsu has said,

[40:13]

from beginningless time not a single being has fallen out of the deep meditation of this universe. From beginningless time not a single being has fallen out of the deep meditation of this universe.

[40:57]

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