Good afternoon. I hope that some of your discussion can just, I assume, will just appear in our going around. And so, yeah, I think we'll start with an old tradition of Andreas going first. We'll go around this way. Just now we came up with a, for me, very focal question. What is praxis? What is praxis? Yeah, I've heard that. So within this field, do we bring our life to practice or practice into our life and how does that interact?

[01:15]

And then on the one hand, we had the opinion that once you've taken the decision to practice, everything is practice. But my sense is and that has also something to do with me having decided to live here. that I have found that I often practice relatively little in my life, except maybe in my seminars. And with that I mean, for example, I don't know, 90% a day or 98% in the so-called birth consciousness, to meditate and to act. That I noticed that within my ordinary life I wouldn't practice so much, except for maybe in seminars or something, but that to 90 or 98 percent of the day I would stay in borrowed consciousness.

[02:24]

But also here, for example, to note that I don't always do practice from my point of view, because I often don't pay attention. But it's a larger interaction here and the Ferdi film reminds me to do that. But the way I see that also here I don't always practice because I'm not always mindful. But of course there's a greater interaction here and also I'm much more reminded to practice while I'm here. Then we have another aspect, also from practice, which I also know, but still the time goes by so fast, possibly with homoeopathic doses, so that I sometimes have the feeling, yes, sometimes things that I have heard many years ago or for a long time, suddenly they open. And then we spoke about another aspect of practice, which you usually call homeopathic doses, which means that sometimes when I hear something, it will open up only a couple years later.

[03:40]

It's a time-release capsule. This is a... This is a... No, I don't mean that, I'm glad you did, but I don't mean that each of you has to give a report. I just mean that maybe the reports will be embedded in your questions. I'm grateful that you did it this way, but I didn't mean that each of you has to give a report from the group. I just meant that the reports from the groups can be included in what you say. So is there a question from you somewhere in the audience? Yeah, for me, this point where the vision comes in, that's a question for me.

[04:51]

And I'm dealing with the Quran. What do you call the world? And that's very, it has a lot of multiplicity. And that's what I'm really concerned with. On the one hand, it would help me to take this question into my mind or into my mindfulness, to explain once again what I call the world, what I have in my field of thought so far, what is actually about the world to me. On the one hand, taking this question into my zazen and asking myself, yeah, what do I call the world and what's coming up then, what do I associate and, yeah? Okay. Yeah. Yeah, and it really doesn't, you don't have to have a question, just some sort of statement or comment is fine.

[05:52]

Also ihr müsst auch nicht unbedingt eine Frage haben, sondern einfach irgendeine Aussage oder ein Kommentar, das reicht vollkommen. And although, you know, Zen is called a teaching outside words and letters. Und obwohl Zen auch als Lehre außerhalb der Worte und Schriften bezeichnet wird. Still, it makes more use of words as kind of, as I've said, electrical conduits of intention and attention. It's a kind of wiring. So you can, yeah, I think it's a good practice to just have feeling. What do you call the world? What do you call the world? And I think also you can, in the sense of the world, the world is also the field of practice. You might use a phrase, on every step, or when it happens, just now arriving, just now arriving.

[07:13]

Whatever you call it, somehow at each moment we're arriving. Elton? Whatever you want to say. One thing is that I find it to be very interesting and great that there is such a place like this one where we can do this kind of thing. Yeah, I do too. I want to get to know it better, but I don't know yet how to transfer that into ordinary life.

[08:21]

I'm not so sure yet what practice actually is. Is it just wanting to get to know it better? and what effects it has in everyday life and where it fits and where I might not say better about it or rather leave it because otherwise it will only be difficult, I don't know. And also, what kind of effects does it have in everyday life? Does it mean that I shouldn't do some things because they would mean something funny? I don't know. whether I should take that into any context not depending on the people I'm with or whether I should only take that into some context with certain people and with other people maybe I shouldn't really talk about it you'll find out

[09:43]

And, you know, I mean, our practice is, you know, sometimes just simply called secret practice. Because you just do it, you don't announce it. Yeah. Florian? Yeah. I can only think of one thing that I might want to address now. One thing that's just present for me right now that I may take with me. And that is to live within situations. That's great. That's great. You've been here, what, since November or December? November.

[10:48]

And you're leaving soon? We're getting to depend on you. It's wonderful you've been here all this time and helped so much to change the place in the last few months. So you'll always be in a situation, that's for sure. Yeah, okay. You can be in a situation and really be in a situation. That's exactly right. And that's the difference between practicing and not practicing. Yeah. Yes, it's normal again. Coming back to normal again. You mean from being in the middle and now you're there?

[11:50]

I've come back to the ground. Where were you? In the stars. And it's all right. And I'll continue my breath practice and see how I can bring that into everyday life. Okay, thanks. Yeah. I really enjoyed these days and feeling being supported by someone. I really enjoy to have another few, another experience. Some of that is from the breath, coming in, going out.

[13:01]

And I love to approach a koan like these words. I really like not reading so much, so this way of dealing with that I really like. Deutsch bitte. I really enjoyed being in this sauna here in this place. I felt it was very supportive. And new perspectives, new ideas, challenges.

[14:22]

Breathing in and out, I like that very much. And also because I'm actually more like... Thank you. Doris? I feel like there's a lot I would like to say and in another situation where I also or where I could not say anything, but where I was so full of things that I couldn't say anything, but I was supposed to talk.

[15:48]

You helped me by saying, one stands for all, and then I was able to speak. But I'd like to say two things now. Oh, we're increasing the number. We're increasing the number. I spoke yesterday about the breathing, and how the teacher was able to help me with this picture, that when you breathe out, it's not so that everything goes away. So like I talked about breath yesterday and how Dieter helped me with his image that not everything stops with exhaling, but that the exhalation can extend. I've practiced with that and something that was added was that you're breathing anyhow.

[16:55]

You don't do that. The unique breath of reality. And as a phrase, I had turned the unique breath of reality into the unique breath of reality. That's not bad actually. And with that, I had a new experience of time this morning while sitting. The first period was astonishingly short.

[17:58]

And the second, that must have been only 10 minutes. So that 30 minutes are simply gone. Where are they? And it's really true, I've never experienced something like that. Have I lost them or was I only in another state of consciousness? But I was not asleep. That was the first thing I would like to share. And that's also because we are supporting each other. At least I experience myself to be supported from you. And Eka Roshi promised me that I might be able to start something with this koan in the course of time.

[19:03]

And Bekaroshi promised to me that... I was wondering if... That I would be able to do something with the koan. Yeah, do something. It's better than to understand. And it's really like that, through the poetry, And I've been looking for an image for this koan and I came up with a map of a huge city. That's foreign to me, that's unfamiliar. Es ist so, als ob ich eine Woche in dieser Stadt rumgelaufen bin. And when I open the map, it's as if I've been walking around.

[20:10]

So dass mir manche Teile, so bestimmte Bezirke, schon ein bisschen bekannt vorkommen. So that some districts feel familiar. Und natürlich ist dieser Stadtplan ein Plan, vielleicht größer. And maybe this map is to maybe exaggerate a little bit a kind of life map. I would really like to thank you for the lectures and for the interpretations. I found them to be great. You're welcome. And also for the small groups, I would like to thank you.

[21:14]

Actually, I like to go and visit cities that way. I never look at a map. I just walk around wherever. And sometimes after days I'll look at a map. Where have I been, you know? I think that's the way you study cons. You walk around in them for a while and suddenly you begin to know certain districts. And they can be a kind of life map or reflect certainly some portion of our life. Arthur? Somebody said yesterday, which I've been thinking about since, which you said we're not preparing for a test.

[22:34]

And I think often in sitting, and not just in sitting, but I have this approach that I am preparing for a test. If I do this, then the next time I can do it better. The next time I can sit better. The next time my legs won't hurt so much. And of course, then the test never comes because it's always the next test. Yeah, so I've just been trying to deal with that. And I guess the other thing was when you were talking about the... the scientific aspect of approaching Zen as a science. I think you said you might say something about baseline as to where we can measure it. I think that would be helpful. Do it, you put down. Yesterday, Bekir Roshi said that we do not prepare ourselves for a test from me.

[23:47]

I often have the feeling that when I sit down and also when I lie down, I have the feeling that I am preparing myself for something. I try to sit the next time or do it so that I have less pain. and then of course you are always in preparation because the breakthrough will never come. And the other thing was that in this to talk about science and how one can nurture practice in a scientific way, that Roshi said it would be something like a baseline or a zero-line or a starting point. Yeah, one of the things I considered talking about, and they put it very simply, say that you're in a, I hate to use this example because it was such a horrible disaster, but say that you're in something like a tsunami,

[25:14]

And you're clinging to a tree with the water running underneath you. And there's someone over there clinging to a tree and somebody else standing on the edge of a building or something. There's kind of a sensorial baseline. You're all seeing pretty much exactly the same thing, pretty close to exactly the same thing. And part of practice we could say is one is, you know, is you can think of an initial mind. Getting the sense of an initial mind.

[26:22]

The example I usually give is to practice it when you come into a room. Just feel the room before you start thinking the room. So then you can think about whatever you want, but you develop this habit of establishing an initial mind in each situation. You establish the habit or the habitation of an initial mind. And one such initial mind is just a kind of sensorial baseline that we all have, form, color, et cetera. And when you spoke about normal, returning to normal, I thought of this emphasis again in Zen on establishing this mind that we all do have, this sensorial baseline.

[27:29]

In each situation, with each person, you find yourself initially located there. It's not much different than our greetings, how are you? How are you doing? These greetings are a kind of reference a wise reference to a sensorial baseline. And it can be. So, good morning, you know, have a nice day. No, it's a nice day. If it is. Top of the morning to you. Top of the morning.

[28:48]

That's just a greeting, particularly in Ireland. Top of the morning to you. Anyway, so, but have a nice day. When people say that, I always think I have other plans. But I particularly like the Hawaiian greeting, aloha. It's very much like our practice. Ha, ha means breath connectedness. And aloha means in front of you. And aloha means in front of you. And you can really see that in the center of Hawaiian thinking is this aloha, this connection of breath. And their greeting consists often of actually sharing breath, I mean, after they've brushed their teeth at least.

[30:18]

We're such an antiseptic society, we wouldn't want somebody to come up and... Dieter? What struck me most during this practice week was how deep or far-reaching or radical this breathing practice can become. breathing in, appearing, feeling connected, breathing out, disappearing. It's really come down to a moment-to-moment practice and not like I did before, more like bringing awareness or bringing, let's say, attention or mindfulness to breathing.

[31:35]

That's a different thing. And the second thing was the notion of mysterious, being me or meow. That means that you have just the five senses, that's just five parts of, ignorable parts. And to really... carried that notion when when appearance comes. And that helped a lot to get this tendency to explain things, and then that subtle kind of, I already know how it feels to bring mindfulness to breathing, and that feeling of being here, being there, and then some things happen.

[32:42]

But also like being with that new feeling, with that feeling of also suspension and not having these subtle crutches anymore. Also things kind of which don't relate that close to practice, like fears, longings, all that stuff. And it's very difficult to also just let that happen or just... stay there and watch and then let it take place and be so, to anchor it is the wrong word, to be so melted with The place that gives place that this can happen and not being drawn into the content and not fear the content and not wanting to separate from it and do something about it.

[33:53]

That's a new kind of challenge which is a lot of question marks. Touch it. Yes, what most touched me in this seminar was the radicality or the strength that the breathing practice can have when you really appear with the inhalation. and with the exhalation it disappears, that is, it really only becomes a moment-to-moment practice, and it also works against my previous idea to explain to myself, on the one hand, the practice, also a little bit, and then to imagine, as I did, to bring more awareness or attention to breathing. and then think in a more subtle way. I would like to know what is going on.

[34:54]

I know how it feels when you let your attention go to breathing and somehow to go back to a birth. But the less There are many reasons for this kind of new kind of awareness. More things come to me that are not so closely linked to the practice, such as needs or fears, and to simply let them be and not to do something against them or to do something directly with them. This is a field in which I still have many questions. Yeah, the last part of what you said, to sit through, to be, really to allow it to happen. And using movies, cinema, films as an example again. You know, whenever we're driving, for example, Every time you drive, stop at a red light, go through an intersection, pass a car.

[36:18]

There's a potential accident we've just avoided. And so we don't think about it, but we drive carefully because those potential accidents are just under the surface. So we accumulate a lot of potential accidents. And I think that's why so many movies have car chases and accidents. In other words, why do you see these movies and there are 75% car chases? But in a way, all these accidents can come to the surface while you're in the movies. I think I'm crazy.

[37:23]

No, I think it's true. The movie makers have discovered that they put in a lot of car chases, a lot of people go in the area. To say nothing of murders and mayhem. Buildings blowing up. So when we really are willing to fully know and experience ourselves, And as I said to Andreas, you can use the practice of arriving, just now arriving. Dogen makes this even a little more subtle.

[38:23]

He says, arriving hinders arriving. Arriving interferes with arriving. Und Dogen drückt das sogar noch subtiler aus, indem er sagt, das Ankommen greift in das Ankommen ein oder behindert auch das Ankommen. Okay, so in a similar way you can use the word welcome. Und auf ähnliche Weise kann man das Wort willkommen verwenden. Whatever happens, you say welcome. Was auch immer geschieht, du sagst willkommen. And in Zazen, whatever comes up, you say welcome. And in a way you kind of exaggerate or encourage, if you feel something negative or some darkness, you encourage it to come towards you. If you can think you can handle it at least. Now, I always say you should turn toward difficulty Never away from difficulty.

[39:32]

But you turn toward it, even if you only turn a centimeter or something toward it, that's really positive. You have to have the inner sense of not to turn too much, because we can get overwhelmed, depending on where we are in our life and our stage of psychological development and so forth. In some periods in our life we're very fragile and we don't want to be overwhelmed. We can't be overwhelmed. But still you turn toward and not away. And sometimes it comes into practice. That you not only turn toward, you turn completely and you feel completely open.

[40:44]

And that openness, of course, is good, very good. But it may be an excuse for lots of what feel like hell realms to come up. Not just, I'm not saying you're going to have this, but I'm just saying this is what you have to, one has to, is part of practice often. And it's symbolized in the mythological life of the Buddha. With the temptations of Mara and so forth. But this is often a real part of our practice. And you can have, for instance, fears attack you so fully, you don't know, but you just stay in the middle of it.

[41:49]

And it feels like you're going to explode or die or something, but you just stay in the middle. And you're willing to die or willing to go crazy or whatever happens, but you're not going to flinch. Sometimes that's necessary to get on the other side of craziness or the other side of grief. Or sometimes the other side of many fears we don't even know. We just live on top of them, stepping carefully on the ice. And because this practice can be so transformative, it's one of the reasons we try to give you the lifeboat. Of Zazen.

[43:05]

Where you can sit so still the boat doesn't rock. Janine. I was going to say what you just said. You can lead the next seminar. Actually, I have a lot of anxiety about talking. in front of people. So I'm sitting here and it's just pretty much unbearable. My heart starts beating up fast and stuff. So I was kind of like, how can I practice with this? Um, and, you know, fear in general. And I didn't really come up with any answer, but, um...

[44:06]

Breathing, I guess. Breathing was good. I'm so grateful that Roshi brought up the whole breathing thing. I don't really know how to deal with it and I haven't found an answer yet. But I think breathing seems to be somehow helpful. And I'm also very grateful that Roshi talked about breathing in this way. But I notice when I'm afraid of things, just like bodily, how I just shut down and get, sometimes I don't even know why, but it's like. this fear and how to deal with that. I'm glad you just did it. Not completely. Well, you turned toward it. It's great. Thank you. It's now six o'clock, Frank.

[45:38]

Exactly what I wanted to say. Ditto. Please translate. Really, every time I sit in these circles, and you know, one, two... And I can't do anything about it, about the excitement, about the tension that rises. What does practice help me with this? And it does help me, maybe because it did put me in such a circle. Because I think I sit here because I'm practising, otherwise I wouldn't sit in such a circle. And I like that I don't know what to do in it than to stay and to try to talk in the moment.

[46:43]

I'm the one who has to talk. Talk what's going on. Try to find in my feeling, in my position. And also try to find a way that fits to the situation. I could have said the same thing as Janine. And I am always surprised how I find myself in these circles and with the advancing... No, it's not dead, it's more moving. It's alive as I want it to be, but maybe not. And I can't do anything. I can breathe, I can focus on it when the tension rises. And I wouldn't do it if I didn't practice. I don't want to sit in such circles.

[47:56]

And I think that's one of the reasons why I practice, is to get into such a situation. And to see what happens. And to allow more and more what happens. And not to say what I thought could be cool. So the second thing I want to say is that I have the feeling that this practice week works very well as a form. Because an hour ago my mother and my mother-in-law and my father-in-law arrived, and the next week I will spend with them. That's the kind of practice week, isn't it? This was strange. And for me it's always surprising what people can do. And I thought often in this week that we are doing strange things here. It's also, everybody is saying yes and is agreeing and we seem to be in one mind.

[49:05]

But I just told in my little group that I have a quite good friend in Berlin with whom I talk a lot and he's open and he's a teacher in music and now also in religion. And in one meeting with him I mentioned this breathing practice and there was like a cut in the situation and he said to me, now this is esoteric. It is. Did you hold a mirror in front of his mouth? Breathing practice. Maybe in German. Maybe you could try another language. Breathing language. Yes, the second thing I often wanted to say is that I notice how well these practice weeks work.

[50:10]

Because the most diverse people come together here and get along well for a week. And we do unusual things here, I think. That's why I came up here, because an hour ago my mother and my parents-in-law arrived and I will spend the next week with them. And that will also be a kind of practice week. It will also be a special week. And in the feeling that they have already arrived here, and I haven't seen it yet, I've only heard from them, I also notice what kind of weird things we are doing here. We are all always so united and the word practice is constantly changing and everything seems to be clear and wonderful, but somehow two people go out there, including Mr. Kohlbrenner. I have a good friend in Berlin with whom I talk about a lot of things. We had a great conversation. He is a religion and music teacher. And when I mentioned the word art and practice in a conversation with him, it really went like a burst through the situation.

[51:18]

He looked at me and said, this is esoteric. So. And I think for most people this is not so normal, and they are not as self-confident as we all are. It's quite strange. You may be seeing practice from the point of view of your mother-in-law. Yeah, my mother-in-law, who's very Catholic, very carefully avoids any mention of religion to me. The closest she ever came to mentioning religion to me was I was eating some pistachio nuts. which I particularly like.

[52:29]

And I said, these are so good, they almost make me believe in God. And my mother-in-law said, eat some more. And so... Here's this guy who I know quite well, Frank Schürer, who I know has a real hesitation about speaking. We trapped him of... few months ago into giving a lecture which he wishes I didn't even know about. And from all I've heard, it was an extremely good lecture. But I've mentioned to him a few times that I'd like him to give a lecture again.

[53:31]

And he starts talking about his mother-in-law is visiting or something, you know. And do you know how he earns his living? He creates radio programs. He's a journalist and he's paid to make other people talk. Is this why you chose journalism? So you wouldn't have to talk? You could get others to talk? You don't know what I'm talking about. Okay. But it is very strange how something so obvious to us is to bring attention to attention or attention to our breath. Too much of the world is like, I mean...

[54:49]

It's like, well, they've never thought of it, but it's almost like they've never breathed. Nico. Oh, I should talk. I didn't get a chance to have anxiety then. You can have the chance now. She's been talking quite naturally now. Take it. Actually, I can think of something. Just give me a second.

[55:54]

What's been... new for me this time or I mean more in the foreground than usually is that I really don't want to go back this time back to Eulenburg usually when I started sitting for a while I usually felt like I just really want to do this I don't want to go back but it was never so strong as this time and And I think it has a lot to do with that this time I experienced a real cut in my way of being, actually, and the way I handle my life, or mostly how I feel in my life when I'm studying, and the way I feel in my body and in my life when I'm sitting and practicing. Yeah, it's just like a different world.

[56:58]

And it's almost painful to think that I'm leaving tomorrow and that I am going to lose that to some extent again. I just know that. And it has to do a lot also with translation, actually, because when I'm translating, that really helps me in order to find the place where I can translate from. it's almost a necessity to not be located so much in self-referential thinking or being. It's just, it's not possible to translate when I think of myself or when I'm proud or embarrassed or anything. It doesn't work. And that, to some extent, it just extends into when translation is over.

[58:01]

Yeah. Can you translate that, please? Yes. This time it's very difficult for me to imagine that I will go home tomorrow and never go back to the university. Especially because this time it's such a clear cut. between the way I experience how I am in my life or how I am in my body when I am in Oldenburg and how I am here, when I sit here and especially when I sit with the people. So the Sangha makes a big difference. It's almost like a different world. And it has a lot to do with the space I have to enter in order to be able to translate. When I translate, it's just necessary that I lose my self-reliance.

[59:07]

At least while I'm translating, otherwise it just doesn't work. And of course it also extends to when the lectures are over. Yeah. And maybe one more thing, the lectures were, for me, they worked absolutely well as well, even though I listened probably differently. But for me, they all culminated in one question, that is, what is the mind that knows the world as it actually exists? For me, the lectures have worked excellently, even if I probably listened to them differently than I would have listened to them now. And they all flow together for me in one single question that I ask myself all the time.

[60:11]

What is the spirit that knows the world as it actually exists? Yeah. Yeah, well, please stay with that question. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes translators, particularly if you seem to be good at it, they don't know what they're translating. It just comes through them and they don't have any experience of the content. But you seem to be able to let it go through you as practice and also have some experience of the content. Yeah. Often it happens that translators, especially if they are good at it, they don't even know what they are translating. It just spills through them. He said, I have apparently let it flow through me and at the same time I have a certain experience of the content.

[61:11]

Maybe because you can put usual thinking aside while you translate, you can also feel the content. Well, I think we're halfway around, and so maybe we could stand up and take a few minutes break, and we also ought to send our greetings to Frank's mother-in-law. Maybe you can invite them for a cookie and supper. They can cook for you. They could come to brunch tomorrow. Try it out. She's going to really try to emphasize finishing her studies at Oldenburg so she can come and stay here for a longer period of time.

[62:21]

Also, Nicole hat sich vor allem dieses Wochenende entschlossen, jetzt sich damit zu beeilen... I can have someone else translate, Paul. Ich beeile mich damit, mein Studium durchzuziehen, sodass ich dann hierher ziehen kann und länger hier sein kann. So that may exacerbate, emphasize your feeling right now that you'd like to stay. But I think it's a wise decision for you to finish. Atmar? Yeah, we asked this question on the last weekend, what is Sangha? And during this practice week, there was the question, what is Mahayana practice?

[63:25]

And we looked at, we have been looking at the koan, these hidden questions and obvious questions. And this afternoon in our small discussion group we really reached to a point with Andreas, Christoph, Florian and Nicole in our group, we came to a point that opened a different or another quality of asking questions, not just as useful a tool to practice with, There was the question, what is practice, what is my practice, what do I call the world? And the quality that came in in this discussion was that it's really kind of also causing a problem not to know that. And the quality, this asking such a question, it somehow can cause a problem. in my life to ask the question, what do I call the world?

[64:31]

Or what is my practice? And that was what I really appreciate this afternoon in our discussion. In the course of the last week we had the question in the weekend seminar, what is Sangha? And now this week in the practice week, what is the Mahayana practice or the vision of the Mahayana practice? We looked at the koans with obvious questions and hidden questions. And this afternoon in our small group, where there were questions that came up again and again. What do I call my practice and what do I call the world? there was a quality to it, where it is not only a smart sense question, with which it is useful to practice, but really also such a quality, that it almost brings such a problem into life, not to know it and still to hold on to such a question and to

[65:42]

to bring in the intention and the intention, because it can also create almost a problem to ask yourself, what is my practice or what do I call the world? And I found that to be very important with you. Does it cause a problem that's a hindrance or that's fruitful? It's fruitful. It's not a hindrance. It's another quality of how we can ask or maybe also should ask those questions. It stirs things up. And it allows to stay with the mind of not knowing. To have really an open mind, and open mind is just Yeah, an open mind is an open mind.

[66:58]

Not knowing is something like not knowing, or not just, oh, I don't know, or something like that. Yeah. And that is also fruitful because it supports a spirit of non-knowledge. So first of all non-knowledge. Can you translate the rest? Well, there is such a non-knowledge where you say, yes, that is very non-knowledge and so on. But there is also a non-knowledge, which is just a non-knowledge. The non-knowledge can be a... If it creates a kind of edge, that's good, probably. Okay. these past few days and particularly through the effect of your lecture this morning.

[68:08]

The opportunity to use the breath or appearing or disappearing. As an opportunity to find myself and to give myself away. Taking the world in, finding myself even with somebody just handing me the lid of a pot. Giving myself away by passing the lid to the next person. Finding myself in the situation and finding myself change the next minute through being with people and this practice together.

[69:14]

And finding how It's through the weekend about working with Sangha. And this week focused on the Mahayana tradition in our lineage here. In some way, God, we're making something, but it's not about us. And this finding myself and giving myself away is a very freeing, liberating feeling for me. I relate to Janine with talking... But your posture is good.

[70:32]

Anyway, it's... But the practice for me is about the body and trusting my body and trusting and not disturbing my breath coming and going, in and out. Trusting my body and my feeling more than my thinking, that's ... Good. That's why it's ... where I move to more and more.

[71:35]

That's great. English? Deutsch. Oh, Deutsch, yeah. Your English was so good, I ... Did you translate, Paul? Yeah. Okay, Ingrid? Ich mag den Begriff Secret Practice sehr. I like the term Secret Practice a lot. Und bin sehr gern hier wegen der Stille. And I really like being here because of the silence. Ich habe die Praxiswoche sehr gern.

[72:40]

I've really appreciated this week, especially the small groups have really given me a lot. And your lectures, of course. I'm a small group. Ersatz... He observes the Dharma of the Dharma King exactly. The Dharma of the Dharma King is like this. It has triggered a lot in me, because it has opened whole locks. the phrase that Manjushri says, observe the dharma, etc., has done a lot with me because it has almost opened gateways. I think koans can be very tricky.

[73:43]

It has in that moment At that moment it triggered to feel the pain and also the pain of impermanence and also how fast things are going. In the group, in the practice, mainly also with the group in the Sendo, I have the possibility to direct my attention to my consciousness, to observe this process of passing from moment to moment.

[74:48]

But within this practice and within this group I can much easier pay attention to consciousness and observe this process of impermanence much more precise. And the process of breathing, that helps a lot for me. Thank you. Peter? After the small groups have parted, I kept thinking about the question how do I bring my life into practice. And by now I've realized that not only personal crises have led me to practice, but also to see the state of the world.

[75:57]

I feel that one of the reasons why I feel so comfortable here is that I have the feeling that I am doing something meaningful for this world. And one reason why I feel so comfortable here at this house is because I have the feeling I'm doing something that's valuable in the world. but that I am not only Robinson Crusoe, but, thank God, there are also a few others. This feels to me like an island, but just that I am not only Robinson Crusoe. Yes, I think there is also a connection with your statement this morning in the lecture.

[77:09]

And I think there's a connection to one of the statements you made in the lecture. That is, when I step in front of another person, I develop the impulse to help that person. That has really spoken to me because after all these years of being at the court a judge being a judge and also of political practice I became misanthropian Mr. Trope, yeah. Mr. Trope, yeah. That's one of the reasons why I stopped doing this job. And even though I do notice that things have changed, I would still like to know, is there a practice to speed this up?

[78:40]

To speed it up? To accelerate it. Well, start when you're 25. Or the other practice to speed it up is patience. Why don't you just practice with no place to go and nothing to do? Or practice with just now is enough. Because that's the way it is. And that's good enough. Martin? Thank you.

[79:41]

Martin? After yesterday's discussion I decided to change my zazen practice. Before that I was somewhat dissatisfied because I've always tried to sit upright and to pay attention to breath and things like that. So then I chose to just take a good posture in the beginning and from then on do nothing. Good. Okay, in the first period I had the feeling that I was waiting for my balance, but I didn't want to do anything.

[80:55]

And in the beginning I somewhat felt off balance but since I didn't want to do anything and then I also started to notice the pain in my legs and I noticed that the pain in my legs was connected to the way I breathe I allowed breath to become faster or slower according to what breath was asking for and the pain changed. And then I remembered that I had learned to observe the movements of my body.

[82:08]

Strong movements, yes. And I suddenly realized that my body was moving. My body was moving and it felt like a tree was growing. And suddenly I noticed that my body was moving, not I was moving myself, but my body was moving and it felt as if a tree was growing. I got more upright and suddenly I had the feeling that my legs hurt, my back hurts, I have thoughts, I feel the breath, but I was not there It was the same as the Zazen periods before But without me.

[83:25]

It was exactly like the sun periods before that, but without me. In the retrospective of these seats where I have seen this, the thought comes to me, how if I had a corner of And reviewing that experience the thought comes up that maybe I've caught the peak of Zen. And my idea is that it's maybe possible to live everyday life without being there.

[84:38]

Yeah, something like that. Well, you noticed a lot in those two periods. I wouldn't think of it as a peak or not a peak, but... No, a peak... It's toward the tip, I guess. Tip? A tip. Oh, yeah, that's better, yeah. Yeah, no, I think that's right. You did. Good. Thanks. Markus. I liked your... What I liked was this phrase, wisdom arises from the posture, or is that right? Yeah, it's not bad. It makes me have some hope.

[85:51]

Maybe if I sit a couple more years, maybe something happens. And the thing with breathing, that you put so much value on it, I liked it. And the thing with breath, that you valued that so much, I really liked that. When I was little and couldn't fall asleep, When I was still a child and when I couldn't fall asleep, I was starting to count and at some point it would stop and I would just fall asleep. And if I want to stay breathing now, then the same thing happens to me. It does, whoops, and it's gone again. So I'm still, when I do something, I'm still breathing.

[86:53]

And I get, just like when I fall asleep, the point where the attention goes away from breathing. And now when I pay attention to my breath, the exact same thing is happening. I count and there will be a point when the counting just drops away. Not only the counting. Everything drops away. You too? You too? In a way. Yeah, okay. Yeah, attention, I think that's what he meant. And... And what I can't get a hold of is the point when this is happening. So now I'm chasing after this point and I'm wondering how can I catch that?

[88:15]

Is there a possibility to connect myself even over longer periods of time throughout everyday life to breath? Or is it just training? Just train more. Yeah, I wouldn't think of it as training particularly. You don't want to train yourself. You're not a horse. I just want to notice. That's all. Just notice. And if you stop counting, that's fine. Just follow your breath. And if you don't follow your breath, just notice that you're not following your breath. And if you don't notice, then don't notice. Acceptance is much, you're in the posture, you're practicing with certain intentions and the effort to notice. And just trust that. Don't measure it.

[89:30]

Just accept. Whatever it is, just accept. And if you can practice for two more years, you can expect some good results. but don't anticipate them. Christoph? You were talking about Mahayana and as far as I understood Mahayana has a lot to do with being connected. And so I practice not only for my own comfort but also for the comfort of the world of people around me. So that lecture brought me back to a poem Suzuki Roshi is quoting.

[90:39]

It's about a blue mountain and a white cloud. So this poem says there is a blue mountain and a white cloud and they each other are conditioning each other. But although they are conditioning each other, they are totally independent. I don't understand that. Translate yourself. It was about Mahayana Buddhism. It has a lot to do, or almost exclusively to do, with the connection with the world. And so I try to practice myself, not only for my own well-being, but also for the well-being of the world, if that is not such a high-spirited expression.

[91:42]

And that brings me back to a poem that is quoted in Suzuki Hiroshi's book, which is called Anpinga, by Tosan. It's about a blue mountain and the white cloud. And it says in this poem, there is the blue mountain and the white cloud, and they are opposite and yet they are completely independent of each other. Excuse me for sounding so zen, but the white cloud is the white cloud and the blue mountain is the blue mountain. Of course they are interdependent, but they're also absolutely independent.

[92:45]

Each thing is interdependent and simultaneously independent. As each of us is interdependent and simultaneously independent. Completely independent. The white cloud can't depend on the blue mountain, and vice versa. The white cloud covers everything. It's over the village, it's over the mountain, over the moon. Yes. This morning during lunch you asked me why I don't talk so much. And I said, because I'm so shy and that's how I belong over to that corner.

[94:08]

And then the conversation was over. And then the conversation was over because my English is not good enough for that one. The real background is that I Yes, it's been going on for a long time. What I used to be is not like this anymore. And I often come into conversations, into situations that are difficult for me. But the background of that is the way I used to be. That's just not what is anymore. And I a lot of times will come into situations or conversations that are becoming difficult. It will be kind of like I say something, and that's my opinion, but then I start to wonder, is that really it?

[95:21]

Is that really what I wanted to say? But then it has already been expressed. And that's also how I feel in the small groups, that I say something, but really I can't quite express it. I understand. That's what I understand. Yes, and these fragments of what I was, when it's always in the shelf, and today at noon I get to the shelf, the shyness comes out, but actually I'm not shy at all, it's not like that at all.

[96:35]

And these fragments, it's kind of like as if they are lying on a shelf. And during lunch you touch the shelf and I said, well, I was shy, but that's not really the case anymore. I'm not shy anymore. But still it came out. Okay. What touched me this morning during the lecture was when you said to trust what arises, to trust what comes. And then I remembered that when I was a child I was able to trust that. And that the shelf that I was talking about, and I don't quite know how to express that, but through sitting it becomes less somehow, and that I start to come back into this trusting.

[98:18]

Yeah, good. Yeah, I mean, my lectures are informed by not being able to express what I want to say. Also meine Vorträge, die werden davon informiert, dass ich eigentlich nicht in der Lage bin, auszudrücken, was ich sagen möchte. But I'm supposed to give a lecture and it says so on the schedule, so I come. Es wird von mir erwartet, dass ich einen Vortrag halte, das steht ja auch schon so im Stundenplan, also komme ich. And then I try to express what I can't express. Und dann versuche ich auszudrücken, was ich nicht ausdrücken kann. And I try for 40 minutes and then I stop. Und das versuche ich dann 40 Minuten lang und dann höre ich auf. This is pretty much true, what I just said. It's pretty true, what I just said. Yeah. It's no joke.

[99:22]

Yeah. I thought, what was the most beautiful thing for me? First of all, I have to say, I think it's a great privilege to be here this week, to be able to talk to people. and I thought about what was actually the most beautiful for me, and that is exactly what has just been said, and that can be in connection with the Koran, that there is a level before something can be expressed, before something can be articulated, I thought about what's the most beautiful thing about my being here. And first of all, I would like to say that it's really a privilege to be here now and then.

[100:28]

What was the rest? The connection with the core. Yeah, I got that part still. Would you have said that in between? Okay. So then there was also a connection to the koan. And it was about the fact that there is a level of reality that cannot, or perhaps still cannot, be articulated. And usually... Yes, maybe... And it was about the fact that there's a realm of reality that is not controllable and also not to be articulated and expressed in language. And usually, at least that's the way I feel, we think that's a level we need to overcome.

[101:37]

And the next level would be to lift that up into speech. But what I understood is that this preceding level is very rich and full of potential. This is something very important that I have learned this week, because I believe that this can also be achieved in practice. And I found that to be so important. I found that to be so important because it may also bear fruits in my practice. For example, tomorrow we go home and I know that most of what I have heard and learned this week I will forget again.

[102:44]

For example, like tomorrow we'll go home and I know that most of what I've heard and learned throughout this week I'll forget about. But what I now believe and hope is that things will emerge from this level in my practice that can inspire me. But what I know I'm hoping for and also believe is that from this level there may be things arising that may inspire me and help me in my everyday life. And I think that's what stays. And I wanted to say thank you for that. I think so. I think it will work that way. And I don't think you forget, something remembers. One more sentence.

[104:01]

Yeah. What do you do if you don't want to forget you buy an MP3? Buy a CD. Buy a CD. Yeah, for lashes. And so that's what I did. And when I signed my name into the list, I noticed that I hate that. Good. I had to think of Kudosawaki, who, before he died, his lectures were recorded. But he didn't want that to happen, and he told his students, oh, it'll get so far that these recordings are going to be sold in Kurosawaki fan shops.

[105:15]

And then he said something that I remember which is, that which I say is only valid here and now And I thought that you might maybe add face to face Is that so? Is that the case? That's so. How do you know about Kodo Sawaki Roshi? Well, first of all, I read that Graham Pritchett, he was sick and he joined a session when Kodo Sawaki died, 49 days. This impressed me tremendously.

[106:33]

Well, then I thought I should know something about Kodo Sawaki and I got what is in print, which is very little, And I've read this and I find it very helpful in many ways. It's so short. He was a powerful guy. Very powerful. Yeah, well, thank you. Charlie? Do you want to translate that, Dieter? He says, meow, means mysterious. Do you do that yourself? What you just said in English, do you say that again in German? What did I say? Where do you know Kurosawaki from? First of all, I read David Chadwick's biography, in which he was mentioned, in connection with Graham Petsche and in a long session, in honor of his memories.

[108:00]

And then I found his personality so interesting that I looked up whether there were books, and there were one or two small ones. He actually never wrote himself, he collected them a bit. Thank you. Well, one thing I would like to emphasize again is the sense that our intentions, our vows, our views And some kind of wisdom phrase you bring into a situation, like just now is enough or something.

[109:17]

I think it's useful to think of it as a kind of catalyst or trigger. And so, you know, it's not just Dogen's phrase to complete that which appears. We could also say it's to catalyze that which appears. And this is where the craft of practice comes in. Is it through your own sensitivity and intelligence? And your own ability to notice what catches you or what moves you. And we're often moved by the unexpected or the expected which unexpectedly occurs.

[110:22]

Mm-hmm. So through your own sensitivity, subtlety even, you notice, at this time in my life, this phrase or this intention seems to catalyze my situation. You're not forcing that. To follow that somewhat like Martin followed his breath. And to let that stay with something but also let it change. This is really... Yeah.

[111:46]

Really the way to develop one's practice, mature one's practice. And to awaken the situations we're in at each moment. And that's something we can feel in our body as if our body was also the situation. In reference to what you just said, Peter spoke to me earlier. I'm wondering whether, because there's been some interest in maybe some kind of, not just audio tape, but video tape might be made of these lectures.

[112:53]

And for about, yes, somewhere up until about half of Sukershi's stay in the United States, up until maybe, I don't know, 64, 65, the first third or so, nearly half, there were no tapes made of Sukershi's lectures. And that was mostly my idea and Suzuki Roshi's idea. And I really actually prevented anybody taping his lectures. Because our feeling was that and Sukhirashi's feeling was it should be just face to face, it should just be in that situation at that time.

[114:08]

But, you know, in the beginning of, you know, when Sukhirashi came in 59, they still had, I think, wire recorders, None of you remember wire recorders? Instead of the tape, they had a wire. And then big reels came. But somewhere in there, these little cassettes appeared. And it became so easy to tape that you kind of couldn't prevent it because people had little tape recorders and stuff.

[115:12]

So finally, somewhere in the mid-60s, we started taping Sukershi's lectures. And I also, during the lectures, took notes during his lectures. And I find my notes actually more fruitful and more fuzzy than the tapes. And I don't like things that are too clear. I like them to be fuzzy. And at first, you know, the tapes even here in Europe, what my lectures were supposed to be just for the seminar, etc., But there's no way that that happens.

[116:25]

I mean, as soon as the object is made, someone you can't say no to asks for it. Then someone else has it. And pretty soon you hear it on the radio when you're driving. Really, it's happened to me. So once you make the object, there's always people that should have it, and you say yes, and it's copied or something. And then you say yes, and then there are copies and so on. And I, you know, I'm discussing this because, you know, I guess because I asked Peter that we ought to, I don't want to make the decision, initially at least, but maybe we should think about it together.

[117:34]

And I'm discussing this here because I asked Peter and now I don't want to make this decision in the beginning, but maybe we should make it. And many teachers have whole series of lectures out there and tapes and people buy them from Living Sounds and various kind of organizations. Then when I used to do conferences, sometimes they videotaped them. You don't have much to say about it. And sometimes I wouldn't sign the release, but still later I see them for sale. As I told Peter, you call him up and say, I see the guy, and I say, you know, that wasn't supposed to, I didn't sign a release for that.

[118:39]

Oh, well, I kind of forgot. Everyone else did. It's sort of like, what do you do, sue? So, I don't know. I take some solace. Solace? No. Solace. Comfort. That when people tell me they listen to the tapes, they hear something different each time. That seems okay to me. Because I have the fantasy I'm giving several lectures at once. I mean, I've never heard myself on tape. I've never looked at the Dharma Sangha Internet website either.

[119:56]

I'm not kind of an old-fashioned guy. In some senses, anyway. Anyway, once I heard a little bit of my tape, somebody was playing a tape, you know, like... checking the tape recorder, and I said, what's my brother doing? Sounded like my brother. But, you know, I've never heard one, but someone told me they've listened to one of my tapes a hundred times. I mean, going back and driving back and forth somewhere, and I thought, do they need a mental examination? Can you listen to these and hear something each time? I don't know. I know somebody gave me some tapes once, the Dalai Lama's, when he spoke at Harvard years ago.

[121:01]

They sent tapes to me. And I listen to them occasionally and it's quite fruitful actually. So I don't know. I mean, basically my feeling is it should be just this situation and gone afterwards. And, you know, because that's the way our lectures were with Sukhiroshi, I just decided to live with Sukhiroshi the rest of his life. Because we didn't take his lectures. That was part of my decision, just, okay, I'm going to live with him the rest of my life.

[122:03]

The rest of his life or my life, whichever came first. Maybe if my lectures were good enough, there'd be more people at Creston. And I didn't tape them. But still, this is basically a lay practice. So at some point I said, okay, audio tapes can be made, and I just forget about it. I don't even notice they're being made anymore. But I do remember when I first started being recorded regularly, I would sometimes say, please turn the tape recorder off. I want to talk about something that I don't want on tape.

[123:08]

But now I'm so used to it, I'm not aware of it, but I'm so used to it, I simply don't say things that I don't want on tape. And I used to have a group called, still could exist, called the Dharma Wheel. And it was a meeting with only those people who had teaching responsibilities of some kind. And these people are committed enough that there's no reason to tape it because, yeah, and it shouldn't be taped. And I do talk about teachings in a different way when it's not going to be taped.

[124:17]

That's just for sure. So in a lecture that's being taped, What I might say, if it wasn't being taped, is more of an undercurrent. And I don't mean that some kind of secret. It's just a kind of different kind of intimacy. And I stopped the dharma wheel partly because it creates a tension in the sangha, who's concluded and who's not included. So I said, I'm going to stop.

[125:18]

Now we have this, because I'm going to retire or disappear or something, you know. I decided for this year at least to see what happens to try a more limited teaching program, and we're calling it the Winter Branches. Or as you know, some people call it the Dead Sticks. And winter branches is the idea that they bloom in spring but they look like they're dead in the winter. But this is already creating some tension with some people that I can't put it now, I don't feel the sangha so open and so forth. No, I don't want to.

[126:34]

You know, I don't know what to do exactly. Anyway, so Peter brought up to me that maybe the Winter Branch's lectures, sessions could be videotaped. And he said, you know, maybe it could be just for us, but that's not possible. As soon as they're made, people will have them. I mean, I don't think it bothers you that the tape recorder is going, but would it bother you that a camera... I don't feel... I'm not comfortable, but I don't know how you feel. We could each have a camera. Yeah. And then you just put them all together and let them all get mixed up.

[127:36]

And then you just put them all together and let them all get mixed up. But I think I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want the winter branches to be video recorded or maybe even audio recorded. We'll see. But a seminar like this? I mean, if I'm going to do anything, it'd be more a seminar like this or practice week than it would be winter branches. But it should be partly your decision. And I'll have the final decision. But still, it can be partly your decision. But as you can see, I have serious reservations about it. But it would make difference to me, I think, if you had no reservations about it.

[129:01]

And maybe in the end it's inevitable. Maybe I'll turn into a video camera. Anyway, thank you very much. It's really been wonderful to be here with you this week and And it's magical that such an extraordinary group of people come together. It's just amazing. Thank you very much and thank you for translating. And thank you, Atmar and others, for making this place work.

[129:46]

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