So we spoke recently about the question, what are we doing here? What are each of us and all of us together making out of being together here? Was macht jeder, jeder Einzelne von uns und wir alle miteinander, was machen wir daraus, hier zusammen zu sein? Für 90 Tage des friedvollen Verweilens. Für ein oder zwei Mönchswochen des friedvollen Verweilens. What are we giving to this opportunity?

[01:02]

Rumi says, it's the burn in the heart that I want. The burn that's everything. More precious than worldly empires. Because it secretly calls true nature in the night. The dark, mysterious unknowability of our zazen. The burn that's everything. experience of our inmost request from the bottom of our heart.

[02:24]

Bhikkhu Rishi presented a statement recently Only practices that are experienceable are true Zen practices. Maybe another way we can say this is practice is to view our life each arising in terms of what we can practice with. How we can engage and make use of this experience of the burn in the heart. Making use of the 24 hours.

[03:39]

Not being used by them. Naturally not wasting time. Each gesture may be an expression of fulfilling and realizing this burning. This calling in the night. An important shift happened for me when I first encountered practice. Without knowing it all the time that I was growing up, my father was constantly telling me what to think.

[04:58]

And my father was very smart. At 12 years old, he used to do the taxes for my grandfather, for his business. And then the business grew too big so he had to have a full-time accountant. And my grandfather used to have to start to pay business taxes. He said to the accountant, how come when my 12-year-old son did my taxes, I didn't have to pay any and now I have to pay taxes? And he was in some ways kind of like an idiot savant.

[06:16]

You could say, what is 10,268 times 1,200, 4,082? And he'd give you the answer. And in his starched white shirts and his fine woolen business suits, he was bigger than life to me. So I listened to what he told me, but I didn't actually believe it. And my mother would always tell us, constantly tell us what we were feeling. Even shortly before she died at 95, she would tell my 65-year-old sister, you don't feel that way.

[07:30]

So she was always telling us what we were feeling. And I didn't believe her either. And practice was an encounter where I realized I could actually begin to trust my own experience. Not comparing or evaluating. Getting the approval of Mama and Papa. Taking advantage of their experience and sometimes wisdom. zu lernen oder die Vorteile zu ziehen aus ihrer Erfahrung und manchmal ihrer Weisheit, sondern anzufangen, meinen Schultern und meinem Rücken und meinen Hüften und Knien zu vertrauen.

[09:07]

So statements like Dogen's, to study the Buddha way is to study the self. We may say, to study the Buddha way is to practice the self. and a so-called constancy in practice. We may say is the unwavering willingness To see things as they really are.

[10:13]

It may include what we've been told. May include our history. May include our likes and dislikes. Es kann unsere Vorlieben und Abneigungen einschließen. Aber unsere Erfahrung muss nicht durch all diese Dinge gefiltert werden. Für viele von uns, wenn wir gerade am Johanneshof ankommen, We may have many ideas and opinions about what practice is like.

[11:17]

And for many of us that are here for a while, we may have just as many ideas and opinions. We may not just be as aware of them. We may not be awake to the possibility of this practice of constancy. This unwavering willingness. In 1984, the Burmese meditation teacher Upandita led a three-month retreat at Insight Meditation Society in Barrie, Massachusetts.

[12:47]

Oh, my goodness. In 1984... Sorry. The Burmese meditation teacher Upandita led a meditation retreat. And my good friend Sharon Salzberg, who was one of the lead teachers in Sight Meditation Society, participated in the retreat. And her first interview with Upandita, he said, you know, well, in the beginning, it might be like that. And Sharon was shocked.

[13:48]

She said, you know, she had the feeling, this is my meditation center. These are my students. I'm the teacher here. What are you talking about in the beginning? It can be like this. And I met Upandita once. And he was a very dedicated... traditional monk with a almost foreboding powerful presence foreboding? got it he would not ever accept something directly from the hand of a woman

[14:51]

Und er hat nie etwas direkt aus der Hand einer Frau empfangen. He would not sleep under the same roof as a woman. In a different room, but just under the same roof, he wouldn't stay. Und er hat sich auch geweigert, selbst unter demselben Dach mit einer Frau zu schlafen. Und nicht mal im selben Zimmer, sondern auch unter demselben Dach nicht. Dann ist er dort nicht geblieben. And my friend Joseph Goldstein, who was a teacher also at IMS. I had a new, very nice new car. And Joseph said, I would really like a car like that. And I said, I will buy you a car like this. If you can get Upandita to go to the showroom with us and pick out the upholstery and the stereo system and the wheels and the color and the color and everything else.

[16:11]

I never had to buy Joseph a car. So several interviews Sharon would go to see Upandita and he would say to her, oh yeah, in the beginning it can be like that. And finally when Sharon was able to realize her sense of herself, her practice, her understanding, her depth of teaching. When she was able to set that aside, somehow he mysteriously stopped saying in the beginning, it can be like that.

[17:34]

Can we imagine starting each moment at zero? Not limited by everything that we know and all our experiences. All the joyful and all the sorrowful things that continue to shape us. Can we imagine that? This practice is up to each of us. To all of us together and to each of us.

[18:54]

Continuously bringing ourselves to each moment. As much as we're able to a kind of zero point. an unwavering ability, an unwavering willingness to see things not clouded by our ideas and views and preferences. ... Making a significant shift from our discursive thinking to an ungraspable awareness.

[20:24]

Or to a perceptual immediacy. Oder in eine Wahrnehmungsunmittelbarkeit. Wie könnten wir das tun? Upandita famously taught something called the jhanas, which are Sanskrit for a kind of meditative absorption, but it also literally means burning. So burning something that burns through and is absorbed in.

[21:26]

Upandita was famous for teaching something called jhanas, which is a word for meditative absorption. And the word also means something like burning. So it is a burning through and an absorbed being in. And for... In my experience, there are two extremely significant factors present in approaching these jhanas, these absorptions. And the first is aiming. Und das erste ist abzielen. Oder zielen vielleicht. It's engaging in the activity of aiming our attention.

[22:35]

Es bedeutet sich einzulassen auf die Aktivität, unsere Aufmerksamkeit zu zielen. And aiming is sometimes called placing our attention. It's also called resting our attention. So this aiming is an intention to place our attention on an object of mind. Common object for us in our zazen is breath. So we're aiming our attention or placing our attention on breath.

[23:57]

And this shift from discursive thinking to awareness may take place not just in zazen, but throughout all of our activity using the 24 hours in such a way. So we're aiming, we intend to aim or place attention. Attention. Attention. Wir haben die Intention, die Aufmerksamkeit zu zielen. And then the second factor is called staying. Und der zweite Faktor heißt verweilen oder bleiben. So it's not just aiming or it's not just placing.

[25:12]

But it's holding the attention with, holding the attention beside or next to. And when it slips off, which it may, we bring it back through placing or aiming to stay, to rest. And we may do this with a specific object like breath. And we also may do it with attention itself. With noticing itself. We may find a particular object which comes forward in our experience. Standing in front of this Buddha.

[26:38]

In the space of this altar area and wider space of the Zen room. I've begun not just to direct... my attention to the Buddha on the altar, but to find this Buddha in me. Taking the feeling of this Buddha into the torso, into the chest area. And throughout the day I've been aiming at pointing toward this feeling in my chest.

[28:01]

And staying as I'm able with that feeling. And as the attention slips off, which it often does, to gently bring it back, So it's an example of using these factors of placing and staying. And sometimes even repeating to myself placing and staying in relation to this image.

[29:03]

Und manchmal mir selbst gegenüber sogar zu wiederholen, platzieren und verweilen in Beziehung zu diesem Bild. Und das mache ich jetzt seit mehreren Wochen. Und es beginnt im Hintergrund meiner Erfahrung zu sein. It begins to take precedence over my discursive thinking. As Roshi said, true practice is a practice which is experienceable. So wie Roshi sagt, eine wahre Praxis ist eine Praxis, die erfahrbar ist.

[30:20]

Wo wir in solch einfachen Dingen wie den Fuß zu setzen, oder unsere Orioki-Schalen gemeinsam anzuheben, placing and staying with our attention in awareness, not just our discursive thinking. Secretly calling true nature in the middle of the night. Thank you very much.

[31:27]

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