There's still so many of us. I think we're all kind of sinking into bed, enjoying the wonders of being sick pretty soon, but then there's still so many of us. You know, today I want to ask the question, Let's start the talk with... Can you imagine to live in a complaint-free world? A world without complaints. Can we imagine such a thing? Do we even want to try to live in such a world?

[01:04]

Because maybe, you know, maybe we think, well, without complaints, there would be, the world would be complacent. There's many things to improve. If you don't point them out, how can they improve? But anyway, I want to entertain the idea. And do I live in a a world without complaints? No. But still, I live in a world with a lot less complaints than I used to, and this is something, those of you who know me and Noah know that this is one of my favorite phrases, that direction functions as an endpoint If you feel that you actually have the intention to go into the direction of a world without complaints, and you feel the dynamic of what it feels like to complain and what it feels like to not complain, you're already there.

[02:15]

The world without complaints is already happening. I think this is a very important point in practice. Direction functions as an endpoint. Because one reason is we don't have to complain about our practice. It's already happening. So I wonder, you know, why do we complain in the first place? We must be getting something out of it. The self is getting a questionable advantage out of complaining. First, of course, the obvious. You feel a little bit like when you complain about something like, this person should have done this, you know. You kind of feel like you raise yourself a little bit. You say, well, I could have done this better. Or it could have been done better, implying I knew how it could have been done better, which raises yourself a little bit.

[03:23]

And we talked about acceptance. Obviously, acceptance is the positive side of complaints. How to say yes, to say welcome, and to really enact these transformative moments in which the world can be accepted. And I'm still interested in those 5% that Eddie mentioned, you know, can be pretty good at acceptance. And then you reserve those 5% for legitimate complaints. So you're getting something out of it a little bit by raising yourself. And, and, um, So there's actual complaints about what people do in an immediate environment, but there's also these sort of diffused complaints about what they do, what they could have done better. A great way to interrupt that complaint about what they do is this wonderful question, who are they?

[04:40]

Who are they? They are doing this. The world is such and such. It's a little bit like complaining about, let's say you don't like gravity, then you can complain about gravity. It's like, oh sure, let's complain about it. Who are you complaining to? Them. No, actually, maybe you're complaining. I mean, if you complain about gravity, if your worldview has a God, then you can complain to God about it. Why did you make it so? But in Buddhism, we have this disadvantage that God is not part of our worldview. So who are we complaining to when we want to complain about gravity? Interdependence? What do you do? But it's interesting. I think it's normal that we think, you know, when we complain about a person, that we think, this person could have done this differently. And that's true. Like I said, you know, it could have been otherwise. That's important.

[05:42]

because it gives and induces responsibility into the universe. But on the other hand, when a person does something and it is the way it is, it's a little bit like complaining about gravity. You know, it's already like this. There's not much you can do about it. But also, you know, the universe has gravity, but maybe it could have been otherwise. There could have been a universe without gravity, some other mysterious thing, you know, instead of gravity, some other combination of factors and forces. And maybe such a universe actually exists. We don't know. But in this moment that we're in, the person is doing something and we feel a complaint and it's just like gravity.

[06:45]

It's just the way it is. That's what happened. Like my grandmother liked to say, it is as it is. She really said that. That's my first introduction to Buddhism. And in practicing acceptance, I think the chief complaint about the practice of acceptance is that we want to think, you can't accept everything. There's really things that are inacceptable. There are things that, oh, you shouldn't be this way. The world should be different. I think there's a truth in that. And at the same time, I'm saying something obvious now, but at the same time, you first have to accept it as it is, grandmotherly, and then find a way to do something about it.

[07:51]

Respond. Be responsible and respond. One formula that sums up this dilemma for me is to say complaining is easier than acting. You can try out if that's true in your world. And I wonder why that is. When I feel into the complaining mind, it's actually interesting. You actually feel like you're doing something, although you're not doing something, but you actually feel a little bit like you're doing something. You know your emotions get really worked up, and you get involved in the thing, and you say, this should be like this, and your discursive mind is all activated, and afterwards you feel a little bit exhausted, and you feel like you've really done something, but you haven't done anything about it.

[09:02]

You've just got yourself engaged, but you avoided the difficulty of action. And maybe this is another side of the little summary, complaining is easier than acting, that acting is actually pretty hard. Because acting means to act in accord with reality. Because if you act and you're not in accord with reality, with the whole field, there may be people who complain about your actions. Rightfully so. Because it is one-sided. You're just addressing one thing and you're not addressing the other side. So staying away from action is maybe the safer thing.

[10:06]

Just to complain is safer than to really act, because when you're out there, you can become the target for criticism and complaints. And it's interesting, complaining about a person usually happens behind that person's back. It's a lot easier to complain when the person is not present. When they walk into the room, you're like, you're just putting up with the problem, you know. It's kind of, you know, you don't want to say it to their face. You'd be saying it to somebody else, but not straight to the person. Because something else happens. When that person is present, there's another factor, which is like that person really did their best. They didn't know better, or they couldn't have done it otherwise. And it's palpable because when the person is there, you can feel it. When the person is not there, your discursive mind can just complain. My sister told me in their physical practice, physical therapy practice in Berlin, they have a little poster that says, dare to go to the extreme.

[11:16]

Open your mouth. I really think it's great. Dare to go to the extreme. Speak to the person. Tell them what you think. It's dangerous, but it can be done. So, but you know, this is a joke. Open your mouth seems like a simple thing to do. Just say what's going on, what you're bothered by. But this acting, is it real? I mean, why are we shying away from it? Because it's really difficult. It's to be in accord. with your own perspective and the other person's perspective in the larger context, is actually not so easy.

[12:19]

If it comes from some one-sided position, it will be one-sided, and that is, you know, not really satisfying. When action really meets the point of the situation, it is wisdom and compassion, and it is... expression of Buddha. And we may not always have the confidence to move into such an expression or know how to do it. So how do we act? so that we can leave this world of complaints behind. So I want to come back to this idea of expression.

[13:22]

I don't think I expressed myself fully last time. I mean, I think I did, but I don't know. Somehow it didn't all come together. And it won't today, and then there's the next time, and so forth, and that's part of this acting. It's always a little incomplete, and in that incompletion there is a moving forward in time. Like I said, each expression has in it that which cannot be expressed and that which is not yet expressed. I'm still intrigued by that dynamic. That which cannot be expressed, I think is the, I feel is the, the everything all at onceness of our mysterious situation.

[14:47]

the totality of what's here? Is that just an idea or can you feel this mysterious presence of everything that comes together to make this happen? This interweaving flux that cannot be expressed because what gets expressed is always this limited form the action that is one side that gets expressed the person that is one side that gets expressed but everything helps comes together to make this incomplete expression happen and because that is also happening the expression is both incomplete and complete at the same time it's like When you are a woman, you're not a man.

[15:59]

That's incomplete. When you're a man, you're not a woman. There's not much that can be done about that. Dogen, in his famous statement, says, when one side is illuminated, the other side is dark. And what can you do there? How do you fold the dark side into the light? Maybe there's always going to be a Maybe. There's always going to be one-sidedness. Always there's going to be incompletion. But maybe there can be flexible one-sidedness. There can be an awareness that there have to be men and women for this man or for this woman to exist.

[17:09]

Without both sides, the one-sidedness wouldn't even be there. And maybe inside of the one side you can feel that the other side is also present, that dark is part of the light. Or when it's stretched out in time, the standpoint that you occupy today is flexible and open to be changed tomorrow. How do we hold our mind so that the dark side is also present? The field, the inexpressible, is part of what gets expressed. Maybe it makes the one-sidedness a little softer.

[18:12]

Or sometimes we have to be determined about the position that we're taking, but stay open to other possibilities that others could convince you otherwise. that which is not yet expressed. Maybe that's the openness of our minds, openness to evolution, openness to transformation and change. There's that which is expressed and there's that which is not yet expressed, and we're willing and ready to cross over into what is not yet expressed.

[19:20]

Yeah, to be alive is to have problems. There is this field of an interweaving flux of events. This is just one way for me to think about this and express it. And the field always pushes forward with events. And then sometimes there is a blockage. It can go on like this. That's a problem. It happens. It must happen.

[20:58]

Because the situation is new, there has to be a different response. So the problem is that the field is asking the question how to move forward. This is a different respect. This is a different... I don't know if you can feel that. This is a different way of looking at a problem. It's not my problem. It's not like I have a problem and I'm either a bad person, inadequate, which is, you know, if you say that to yourself, you're complaining about yourself, or some other person doing something bad and inadequate, and they're causing the problem. It's actually... the field of this interweaving flux does not know how to go on with the next moment. Asking that question, and asking of the question is happening here.

[22:03]

It's happening in that realm that I call myself. It's like when Roshi says to view the world as ingredients rather than, you know, yourself meeting objects out there. It's ingredients and they're coming together. Now they're coming together as a problem. Suzuki Roshi says in Zen Mind Beginner's Mind, he says, when we can appreciate our problems as an expression of big mind, the problem is not a problem anymore. When we can appreciate whatever problem we have as an expression of big mind, it's not a problem anymore.

[23:09]

Well, that's great Zen talk, you know, it's a problem that's not a problem. But there is such a thing. It's like a problem that you don't resist is wisdom itself. Because wisdom is not a state of mind, wisdom is the interweaving flux moving forward. It's like there's a world out there and it presents a problem and we meet the problem with wisdom. It's the world that presents. It's not going forward and it's wanting to go forward. The realization that that's happening, that is wisdom itself. It's not that the wisdom is in here and you meet the world with it. It's actually the world is the wisdom. So the decision is, are you going to move with the wisdom that the world is, or are you going to try to have your own wisdom?

[24:18]

So to accept the problem is really, it's, you know, as the Suki Roshi speaks about, when you are sitting with your problem, you are one with your problem, and then the problem is not a problem. Is that understandable? Does that make sense? How do you sit with a problem? You encounter a problem, how do you sit with it? So you sit down and you sit in the midst of your problem. How do you sit in the midst of a problem? Well, first of all, I think the problem is the stuckness, the block in the flux is inconvenient at the least, and sometimes a real pain, and sometimes terrifying.

[25:43]

So we turn away from the problem. We resist it. So the first movement is to turn toward the problem. To appreciate it, as the Zuckershi says there, to appreciate it as an expression of big mind. With the problem you're inviting the solution. It's like every problem is already the solution. It is the seed of the solution, or it is already... You could say, if it's the seed of the solution, it's already the solution. It's like every question contains its answer. If you don't ask the question, there won't be an answer. If there's no problem, there's not going to be a solution. And what is a solution? It's not like, oh God, we need this solution because there is this problem. It's this inner weaving flux moving forward is both the problem and the solution happening.

[26:52]

There's always... when a problem repeats itself, like when it's stubborn, right? There are such stubborn problems. They come back. They don't just show up once. They show up many times. But it's funny. It's like when you observe it closely, it's... There's always exceptions to the problem. There is always moments, situations when the problem is not present. But when we look at the problem, we will not see those exceptions. So part of cultivating awareness is you see the problem and you also see the exception to it. And when you get more skillful at it, you can shift your attention to the exception of the problem and do more of the exception. You know, Jamie said we had these computer problems that Jamie tried to solve, but he also caused a bunch of problems, which is also the nature of problems, I think. You have a problem, you find a solution, and then that solution immediately turns into another problem.

[28:05]

Because it's, again, one-sided. Oops, you just have another set of problems. Like, if you don't have money, you have the problem of not having enough money. When you have money, well, then you have to manage it, and other people want it. It's a different set of problems, but it's, I think, not easier, really. Different. Okay, anyway, Jamie caused... Solved a bunch of problems and caused a bunch at the same time. Like he went into these areas of the computer where everyone would tell him, don't go there. You know, the terminal where you actually put this code in. I saw him doing this like, ah. But he's so confident, you know, it's like, there's never been a problem in a computer I haven't solved. He said, okay. So he's solving it and then he's making another one. This darn thing doesn't start up again. He said, oh, no problem. I'll fix that.

[29:06]

Anyway, in one of these intermediate stages of problem, solution, another problem, another solution, another problem, I started the computer and it did these funny things and it just didn't do anything. And he was there watching me trying to do my regular thing. And I was just, you know, with the mouse, I was clicking and it didn't do anything. And then I clicked again and then I clicked a bunch more. And he said, do you think if you click... Another 10 times, we think, then the computer will respond. You know, this is a typical, I mean, I think problem-solving literature calls this doing more of the same, right? I did it right there. Kick, kick, kick, kick, kick. Then harder. Until he smashed the damn computer, you know? Respond to my clicking. I mean, I am clicking, so why are you not responding? Which is, you know, kind of limited perspective.

[30:11]

To sit with the problem in the midst of the problem Supposedly, as you said, then the problem is not a problem anymore. In the Ganger Koan, Dogen says, you know, we all know the statement. Probably we all know the statement. To carry the self forward and cultivate myriad things is delusion. Isn't that usually the way we're going about solving our problems?

[31:33]

Here's the problem, here's the self, and the self is trying to figure out the solution to the problem. You're thinking about it, Okay, here we have this strange language. Carry the self forward. Like in one of our seminars, you know, Dhritiya pointed that out, the directionality of the self. The self is going out toward the world, toward what's already separate from the self, going there and, it says there, to cultivate the mirrored things, to manipulate them and I don't know the word cultivation here the way I understand it right now is you know it does have this the intention of improvement you know we want to improve the world you know we're making it better we're going out there to make the world better and that's so we're going into that directionality that's problem solving and usually our culture values that kind of activity very much

[32:43]

And then Dogen continues and he turns it around and he says, to let the myriad things come forward and cultivate the self is enlightenment. When you sit with your problem and you're inviting the problem and the exceptions and what is not yet expressed, the myriad things can come forward and cultivate the self. You're inviting the problem and you're inviting the problem to get you some new ideas, like, is there anything else beyond clicking the mouse some more? Something else? Could try? But you're not saying, oh, let me think about this really hard.

[33:52]

What will I do? It's like you're sitting there and you're open to let the myriad things come forward and give you some ideas. Is that sitting in a dark meditative space? Yes. with flashes of intuition? Or is it while you're actually with the world as it manifests in this situation, to feel the connectedness with the persons and the objects that present themselves as the problem? It's like the person, when they come into the room, you can't complain about them anymore because now you have to act with them. in that moment of connecting with that situation, maybe that's when the myriad things come forward and cultivate the self.

[34:58]

It's, you know, pretty normal, but I think it's pretty obvious when I say, technically we want the self to stay the same Everyone had changed the world. And here what Dogon is saying is, it's like you let the myriad things come forward and let them change yourself. attitudes, mostly I think, is what needs to change to get the fluff, get this stuckness back into flow. And there's a myriad of, you know, it's like attitudes are never wrong. They're just one-sided. Sometimes this is appropriate, sometimes the other thing. Some attitudes are more conducive to express more fully what the world is like.

[36:04]

We try to cultivate those as wisdom views in the teaching. Like, just an example, inclusiveness. Is being inclusive better than exclusive? That can't be, because... If there's inclusive, there also has to be, if there's no exclusive, there can't be inclusive. But because we're tending to be rather exclusive, inclusiveness can be a pretty good attitude to cultivate and to come from. Because it's like when you exclude something, you're negating the fact that everything is coming together to make this happen. So the tendency can be to cultivate inclusiveness. Let everything have its place. But at the same time, our immune systems are working pretty hard to get those germs excluded and kept out.

[37:07]

Because if that's not happening, this body dies. you know, pretty fast. Immune deficiency, boom, over. We don't even notice. The immune system is just doing that job, excluding all the time. This doesn't belong here? Sorry. You have to go. I want to be alive. But... with our minds we can know that those bacteria and viruses are a pretty essential part of the whole fabric of life. So I think a good attitude towards sickness is, let it happen. Let it happen while it's there. Let the virus or the bacteria have their life cycle. And then, you know, they can go so that I can have my life too. But when it's time for me to go,

[38:11]

Hopefully there is also the willingness to die, and then you turn the body over to the bacteria, they'll do the decomposing. Again, pretty fast. So both, but we can cultivate views that counteract our tendencies. The tendency is exclusion, and we cultivate inclusion. The myriad things are coming forward and cultivating the self from moment to moment, cultivating the self to respond in accord with this interweaving, complex flux of everything happening that we are an expression of. And the secret in those two powerful phrases from Dogen seems to be, the secret of transformation seems to be, you know, we want to be an enlightened person, but we don't want to change.

[39:34]

In fact, I want to actually be this different person, but stay the same. A little bit like that. Not really opening up to the radicalness of having to become what the field demands of us. So the secret of transformation seems to be that it doesn't come from the self. It comes from the field. May our intention equally benefit every...

[40:26]

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