She remembers clearly deciding to be a singer when she was three. Now, was this innate or something? In her case, I would say not. She grew up in a family that sang all the time. Half Spanish, half German, and they all even sang. And she simply loves to sing. But she hates to perform. And she does these big performances where she's even brought down in a thing from the back of the stage. And she hates it, but she struggles to do it. And she has such a big stage chance, where she somehow floats from the bottom to the stage.

[01:12]

And she has to do it, but she tries and has her difficulties. She puts up with the societal aspects, because she just loves them. Now, we can't say whether, I don't think you can actually say whether something like an inmost request is innate. Yeah. Or I don't want to go there. But I think we can say that it's more fruitful to think of it as emerging rather than ending. Okay, so let's take... Let's go now to the example of doing 100,000 bows.

[02:25]

And bowing to save all sentient beings at the same time. And as you all know, most of you know, that I really don't like the salvational aspects. That's not really what it means. It really is a sense that beings are in link. And so it's impossible to save them all. But what are you going to do? I think I'll save three. Well, let's add another 14. Doesn't make any sense. So what he brought up was intention.

[03:26]

We could say the deepest aspect of Buddhism is the need to vow. That everything changes and that we have to take some stance to the next change. So I would say that vow is more like, it can be impossible, so you can't reach it, but that's the power. And maybe the vow would be, I vow to benefit and enlighten with all sentient beings.

[04:43]

So let's keep it simple. I vow to benefit all existences, all sentient beings. Now, you say that with a hundred thousand physical vows, which is quite a big effort. Now, you're certainly going to... But I don't think it's going to work if there isn't something there. What is there, Bob? Is it innate?

[05:57]

Now, this is kind of philosophical, but in actual fact, we are profoundly philosophical beings. And even if we don't think it consciously, if something doesn't compute in the background mind, And I'm really opposed to the acorn book theory. No, there's a little acorn and it grows into an oak and there's fate and... We paint it to live a certain kind of life. Okay. The acorns, the air, and our life becomes the tree.

[07:00]

So the tree is already in the addictive. Okay. I'm not a big fan of this theory that the life of the archer in the arch itself That there is a promise to go is a truth there. It's equivalent to believing in God. And Buddhism doesn't have any belief. Yeah, and so if you do have a belief, you're going to have to see how practice functions within relationship to your belief. Now, I would say, what I say to Sophia sometimes, Her main job is to stay alive.

[08:14]

There's other things too, but that's... But... It matures into how to stay alive. And then how to stay alive with others. How to stay alive in the larger sense of No, you could say that. The desire to stay alive is innate. As far as I know, babies seem to have a fear of falling from birth.

[09:15]

But I wouldn't say it's innate. Because you need pain in order to avoid death. There are rare cases of children don't feel pain. And they just can't look. They don't even know how to walk in a way that doesn't harm their legs, and pretty soon their legs are full of, you know, suffering, pus, gangrene, etc. So I would say it's more fruitful to say, yes, it can kind of be, you know, this has qualities.

[10:16]

it's starting to get a little strange. And the baby has certain conditions. And of course the baby has certain... But the desire to stay alive and the means to stay alive emerges partly through feeling pain. Schmerzbild. So I would say, . And I would also say, if you look at it from the perspective, or from this perspective, that you say, an innermost request is something that arises. .

[11:37]

Our inmost request emerges in the realization of... Our inmost request develops through the recognition that it should, can, it has to benefit all beings. And... And you can extend what Eric said, his request is to take care of his children. But we can extend that to all children, all beings. But that doesn't mean you are going to take all children into your house and have a hundred bedrooms.

[13:03]

Some people try to do that, you know, they adopt. But it doesn't work. You have a certain responsibility to your own child. But practice is to extend the feelings of your own children to other children and to other people. OK. Yeah, I think you were speaking instead. I think what he discovered, and Suzuki Roshi said again, and I think what he discovered was his innermost request rescued.

[14:23]

And what he discovered was that he actually saved his inner desire. And the word request, as some people point out, actually comes from require. And a request, as some people have emphasized, comes from asking, from answering. Now, the etymology history of the English word Nun, die etymologische Geschichte dieses Wortes im Englischen doesn't have to reflect our practice. Das muss nicht unbedingt unsere Praxis widerspiegeln.

[15:26]

But in some ways, and often surprisingly, it does. Aber oft und überraschend dabei ist, kann man aus der Ethnologie was lernen. Because we think backwards for what is actually necessary or required. So Sukhirashi, again, is an existential turning point in his life. It rescued him. And it made him decide not to believe in Buddhism or adopt Buddhism, but to recreate Buddhism. This attitude seems to be part of the power of making Buddhist thinkers.

[16:41]

For example, Dogen said, don't let the sutras turn you, you turn the sutras. And so at some point Dogen said, I'm clear that the sutra says that's not my experience. I'm going to change it, and he changed it. And it turned out in one case, at least, when they found earlier texts, this change was the way it was in the early times. And in one case it was so that you later found earlier texts and they were the language that went into it. Okay, so this phrase that we're saying was an existential turning point in Sucredo's life.

[17:50]

And then gave perspective to his personal and psychological history. Then it allowed him to re-enter the path of practicing Buddhism. And at some point, he realized, I say that as if I know, and I think I do. This will only... new entry into Buddhism must be matured with others who practice. And he didn't see the opportunity to do that. So it was Well, the long shot is America.

[19:01]

Yeah. Okay. So Tsukiyoshi can say. That. Right. The seedling of this inner request to stay alive with others and to live together with others somehow bears most fruit, even as a personal request, when it's understood to include others. And then he also said, and it comes from existence, That's always saying it's not an ape, it's a merchant.

[20:13]

So it comes from our developing caring and compassion. So I would say that the bowing a hundred thousand times and saying a bow inscribes it on us. Yes, of course, in one sense that's true. The body is the innermost. But to put it that way assumes a kind of tabula rasa.

[21:15]

This is a phrase, I believe, originally from John Lobb, the British wasp. John Locke, an English philosopher, who lived from 1632 to 1704, and who has actually made a major influence on the development or writing of the Declaration of Independence in America. Okay, but if you have an idea of tabula rasa, what kind of slate on which you write? Well, I don't think that's correct.

[22:21]

I think if Locke had known about Buddhist practice, his insight that the mind can be free of form and color, If he hadn't lived in a culture that assumed a corner to creation kind of possibility, I mean, again, you have two basic choices. Do you think this has a beginning, or do you think it's always been? Buddhism says, Well, you can't prove it one way or the other.

[23:37]

But if you say it had a beginning, then you have the problem of what's before the beginning. And that's a real hard one to think. We're almost doing simultaneous translation here. Who knows? Yeah. So, just better. It always exists. Multiple worlds just collapse and reappear. And Buddhism says that it is somehow possible to say that they have always existed. Many multiple worlds that arise and collapse. That's what some, at least, current Big Bang theorists think. So if everything already existed, that really leads to form and emptiness. There's no priority to emptiness, emptiness and form.

[24:40]

So there's no tabula rasa. Okay. Now, tabula rasa means, actually in Latin, an erased float, an erased habit. So let's say that John Locke's emphasis on this came out of some kind of insight into emptiness. And now let's say John Locke's idea of a fountain from some part of Annecy. What he tried to do is thinking of his culture and his thoughts. Und er versuchte das zu nutzen im Gedankenrahmen seiner eigenen Theorie, im Gedankenrahmen seiner Gesellschaft.

[26:07]

Now, he emphasized the erasing more, might take it up closer to what Buddhists practice. Und wenn er das Austratieren stärker betont hätte, dann wäre es stärker in die Richtung gegangen, die Buddhismus meinten. Now, I think some people have asked me, and I think it's a question I can feel among us. How do you have this double perception? If you know it's possible and you hold that as a possibility in your activity, you'll probably begin to see how to notice. Excuse me, I lost you.

[27:16]

You begin to know how to notice. Mm-hmm. Now, it says in one of the lists, you know, Buddhism, in a certain part, particularly during the Abhidharma period, allowed to make lists. And you can see the presence of the human being in the lists. Because they make the list so often 10. Some of the lists are 9 really, but they add 1. Some are 12, but they squeeze 11 and 12 into 7. But in any case, they don't know.

[28:30]

So I wonder, first you have to review your personal history. Find a way to review your personal history and begin to fold it into all of your activities. Find a way to review your personal history nothing repressed and nothing And to do that, you have to work with basic ideas too, like fear, hope, trust.

[29:33]

And I myself, for instance, have had a number of two main ones of experience of trying to go toward or through fear. Two main ones. One was fear of the unknown, of darkness. And the other was fear of social situations, of people, etc. And the other was fear of social situations and fear of people. And what I did was I pushed this fear so far and made it bigger and bigger until I was on the other side.

[30:34]

And practice is to say, this is Wow, this is whatever it is. And if I'm stuck with this for the next hundred years, I better find out what it's all about. But there's dark places or fearful places or places I don't trust. I'm doing there. And when it's dark, But I'll try to avoid the mental hospital.

[31:39]

So I'll do it with some caution. Now, trust makes me think of, I think, I can't. We know we just don't have enough time. I've explored trust in a lot of ways, just finding the most minimal examples of trust. You know, I would, I mean, I'm sorry to be so stupid, but I'd imagine being a dog. And dogs don't seem to have too many problems. I mean, I'm all covered with hair and nose and all that stuff. Well, I wouldn't be a human in the dark.

[32:40]

Also, wenn ich zum Beispiel lauter Haare hätte und eine feuchte Nase, dann wäre ich nicht ein Mensch, der ein Hund wäre, sondern ich wäre einfach nur ein Hund. Or I practiced with a phrase like, this is also me, and everything I looked at. Until I felt secure and intimate. And I know the cook really likes us to be on time. We'll try to be close to on time. Yeah. I asked Suzuki Roshi, what is my responsibility?

[34:06]

And he said, under your own feet. And I, of course, my immediate reaction was, we have this English braid, which I guess you probably have in German, to stand on your own two feet. But I only knew that in Japanese Buddhism you don't have any suffrage. But I also knew at the same time that there was no such thing in Japanese Buddhism. Because you don't, I don't know, maybe it's a conundrum, but you don't stand in your feet and communicate. Because you, and maybe you think I'm crazy, because you don't stand on your feet, but you stand with your feet. And you see our shoes, our shoes are like horses hoofs. And even the most fancy shoes with all Viennese ribbons in Japan have the toes free.

[35:18]

Anyway, in Japan, your toes are free because they're relating to the ground. And one of the things Kinhen is about, Kinhen, if you're still walking, is learning how to do heel breathing, breathe through your heels. So there's a communication from the ground, your feet, and from your feet into the ground. That's very basic yogic Buddhist sense. So there's a kind of trust in there, but it's trust in the communication of the ground is right there. So I can't continue now that it's lunch?

[36:41]

Let me just say that... So what I would say is that 100,000 bahts Don't inscribe. But rather read a possible embodiment if other aspects are there. Certainly many people I know who have done a hundred thousand bowels are very harsh. But if other ingredients are there, it's a wonderful way to develop compassion. Now we haven't dealt with a lot of things.

[37:43]

Yes. We continue. Let's keep going. If you want. If you want. All right. So it's so nice to be here with you sometimes. Thank you. Good morning. So afternoon, and that was a good lunch.

[39:40]

And I think we should cope a little bit with this I think we should do as much as possible to deal with this inner tribune and nothing. Because it is so in the center of all serious Buddhist practice. And it's rooted in the idea of appearance. And appearance implies not So much the appearance of the object, but the appearance of the mind in which the objects appear.

[40:47]

Now, I said earlier, lists of stages of practice. And as it starts with, you know, the precepts and reviewing your personal history and so on. And as it starts with, you know, the precepts and reviewing your personal history and so on. And the tenth stage, after these first stages, including the practice for jhānas, the tenth stage is knowledge and insight. Knowledge and insight into the nature of mind, into the nature of the body, and the distinction between the body and the mind.

[42:06]

And the eleventh is the ability to call out. A mind-made body. Now this is a tutorial question. And your experiments can, into the distinction, between the mind and the body, and the knowledge and insight into the nature of the body.

[43:07]

can be done in many ways. It's your work to do that with people and for yourself. And when I first started practicing, there weren't all these martial arts. I mean, not in the West. Body practices, people thought yoga was so sort of nuts. So we already live in a very different world. And one thing, of course, is to bring attention to the breath. It's actually to bring attention to the body. And through that attention to weave the mind into the body.

[44:23]

And that's a mind-made body. And you really, if you practice, you begin to find the physicality of everything. My words have a physicality to them. There's a mental quality to them, but I am breaking these words. My mouth and breath and so forth. And then I just... Mentally received by you, they are also physically received.

[45:23]

And when your mind is free from form and color, momentarily, also if it is only for the moment, And, you know, Sophia decided she wanted to play the violin. It was her idea. But it wasn't her idea that it required practice. This is something that count Marie Royce's job to encourage. But it's interesting for me to watch the process.

[46:24]

Wow, it's such a physical instrument. You're holding it, and you're changing it into some boxes, right? She's getting a feeling for a note with her body, not just by hand. And the hand position is related to the note and the vibration and so forth. minus musical ability.

[47:28]

But I like to dance. No, not singing. People don't let me do that. But my father was a very talented musician with several instruments and so forth. So he used to take me to the symphony when he could get me to do it. And, you know, I, as a teenager, I preferred classical music. Yeah, and that really impressed me about being in the in a concert.

[48:31]

Which is different than hearing a record, CD or something. Is you hear them warming up. So they all sit around And there's a kind of, you know, people look at each other and they tune their instruments with each other. And then at some point the conductor, you know, creates a pause and there's a pause. They all have to pause to start together. And then the conductor comes and at a certain point he makes them all stop. There is a break so that they can start playing together. identical virtually to Zen Buddhist rituals.

[49:38]

And I see it in the way of this Japanese, Chinese teacher, of course, Amy in Freiburg. And I see it also in this Japanese-Chinese teacher that we have for Sophia in Freiburg. Her name is Jamie. Anyway, she met Dan and I. She was Chinese and Japanese. And Dan and I said, we both want to. She said, oh, you can do it this way. But she, the same way, she has to get Sophia to stop, and she has to stop, and there has to be kind of, there's lots of pauses to get.

[50:53]

And the rituals of Zen practice are meant to teach you very similar pauses. You bow to a cushion, you turn around and bow and so forth. And you get the habit of doing each thing in little units. And that is dharma practice. You are articulating dharmas. The world exists moment after moment. And you're bringing your mental and physical habits into some kind of mirroring of that. So, you know, related to my, as I emphasize in my prologue to hate,

[52:18]

calls for the particular. On each notice, to the particulars, the duration of the particulars. And to, as I said, the cause. In the pause. And the pause in the pause is somewhat different than for the particular. Because it's like you're waiting for It assumes there's a pause waiting for you to discover. And one thing you discover in a situation with a lot of people is there's a flow of still points.

[53:31]

It's the... There's a lot of noise and stuff, but there's also a momentary still point. An individual... And individuals and the group together often turn on those still points. And in conversations, if you can feel the still points, the conversation has much more subtlety if it moves within and from the still points as well as from the words.

[54:32]

So, in a sense, the pause is also natural. So if you practice with a little phrase like this, you're beginning to educate, to train the mind and body to notice everything. Körper bei mir, das ist die Lehre bei mir. Oder das ist das Erscheinen bei mir. Yeah, so I practice sometimes with the phrase.

[55:33]

I spoke about it in the Boulder seminar. Yes, Christian was there. And I practice sometimes with this sentence that I just took part in in a seminar where Christian was there. while you're waiting for your soup or your Just look at the person and feel. Just mind appears. Or just appearance. So you're looking at somebody and you feel, what you're seeing is just appearance. A momentary appearance.

[56:34]

And then you let it go. Even erase. Okay. Why don't you do that a little bit? And when you do that a little bit, it really begins to penetrate you. The habit gets underneath your habits. You begin to be the forerunner of your habits. Then it really begins to penetrate you, to penetrate you. This underground, this habit becomes a required habit. And the tenda is the most secure, secure, secure. Do you understand? They set aside two or three weeks or a month just to do this all day long. Until they built the house, seeing parents only, parents only. Will you see, given the habit appearance of it, every appearance is equal?

[57:56]

No, no, they're just appearances. And they have an equality. And that's variously called sameness, suchness. And strangely enough, So most of the time you're seeing appearance. Yep. it cuts right through, cuts away comparative thinking and attachment.

[58:57]

And you're really following the precepts automatically. Now, most of the time we're engaged in our daily life, of course. Practice is to, in a, I say sometimes, homeopathic way, to add these little doses of practice into your daily life. There's a Tendai practice, which is much in the background of Zen teachings. And the Tendai school, Tendai in Chinese and Zen are all attempts following the Abhidharma.

[60:06]

The Abhidharma was an effort to systematize the teachings of the historical Buddha. And then Tendai school and so forth. The Tendai school. The Tendai school. The Tendai school. Or try to then take that systematized teaching, turn it into single practices which cover all or many practices. So the three-fold, single-fold is such and such. Einzige, einfache Gedanke, ein Versuch.

[61:38]

Ein solcher Versuch. And that's called emptiness. Und das wird genau Lehre. Provisional appearance. Well-off begehrt scheinen. And the better signitude. The emptiness, we can say, is just a notice appearance. That's a momentary appearance. As I've said in this room a number of times, you can practice this in simple mechanical ways. Like I can look at time. And I've been trying to look at time. Oh, you're different. People changed in that moment.

[62:39]

So, just by doing mechanical things like that, I notice appearance. As you all know, the job of consciousness is to produce implicit permanence, predictability. Consciousness tends to notice continuity. You have to train consciousness to notice discontinuity. And what I have What I'm emphasizing here is how much this practice is a craft, not just a learning aspect.

[63:40]

You can also practice this craft, if it is. And you can also use this craft of emptiness to open and close the eyes and there is no difference between the different until you begin to notice uniqueness. And as you know, each moment is unique, but we don't notice. So all of that is the category of emptiness and appearance and it's really one of what. And the balance. And the balance can be called the middle way.

[64:40]

So you get used to Monotree Existence Meditation. Balance means to settle the body in one identity. No, I started to say the insight and knowledge of the nature of the world. And this you can practice.

[65:42]

I tell you often, just do something. the process of waking up and the process of going to sleep. Or notice the power of your speaking when the speaking has the body and the breath in it. Or notice the power of your speaking when That kind of observation is what is meant by the knowledge and insight into the nature of the body. And notice even when you're thinking, somehow occurs with a physicality.

[66:43]

Another funny example that I had the other day, driving, I don't know, two or three, Und ein anderes lustiges Beispiel, oder merkwürdiges Beispiel, das ich bringen kann, ist, als ich vor kurzem von oder nach Ulter gefahren bin, und ich war müde. Right. Autofahren. I can't describe this. I was tired but not really sleepy. But I noticed that I was losing a grip on consciousness. So the relevance of the cars in front of me and the street signs was beginning to weaken.

[67:57]

But I was tired enough not to be able to hold consciousness to death. And my personal rule is that since I once ended up on the other side of the center strip at 19 years old, in the middle of the night, falling asleep. But there were no other covers coming at the time. Yeah, anyway, so now I always take a short rest or a long rest, if necessary, and pull up the rope.

[69:05]

So I pulled up the rope and almost stopped it. You know, it was hot sun. It was very cold. Fair Play, I guess, or South Bay, or South Bay County? South Park. South Park, yeah. So this was in England's South Park with Fair Play. This is about 10,000 feet. Fair Play. Fair Play is good. It's about 10,000 feet or 9,000 feet or something. And this is 910,000 feet. What's that in meters? It's 9,000 meters. 3,500 meters. And it's, you know, bare, lots of sun. So I looked for a shadow somewhere. I found a shadow in the corner of the stool. I don't know, so maybe it's maybe a restaurant.

[70:10]

There's only two or three buildings. So there were only two or three buildings, and there was a restaurant or something. So I pulled into the shadow. So I was in the shadow. I had a little mask. And then I... You've been in my shadow all the time. But it turned out I was parked right by the door of this building where there was, and people kept going in and out and in and out and opening the door and looking at the sky, sleeping in their shadow. So I got about maybe less than 10 minutes of a nap. But I actually know that probably even two or three minutes would have done it.

[71:11]

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